Acid Rain
by angelcakes19
Summary: AU. Megatron's abuse of Starscream comes to a head, is their relationship repairable? Do they even have one to repair in the first place? Contains non-con/graphic rape. Full list of warnings inside- please read. Partially inspired by Kami Count D's 'Crime and Punishment'. Edited to fit TOS. See profile for link to complete version.
1. Gathering Clouds

_Author's Note- __After some thought I have decided to post censored versions of my work on site and, if you would like to read the full versions  
the link to my A03 account is on my profile. Chapter Four is up in its entirety and my other fics will be reposted as soon as I work through them._

_Hello this is my first fic of this dark a nature so I would ask that you read the warnings carefully before reading and no flamers please. It's AU so you can imagine it however you want. _

_This story was partially inspired by Kami Count D's 'Crime and Punishment' fic and I would recommend you all to read it if you have not already (also if you like Starscream/Ironhide as a pairing 'Crime and Punishment's' companion fic 'The Enemy You Know' is also a very enjoyable read)._

_Unbetaed._

_Disclaimer- I do not own Transformers or its characters._

_Warnings (full uncensored version on archiveofourown- the link is on my profile)- Rated MA. Non-con/graphic rape, violence, perhaps some slight gore and mutilation near/at the beginning, there may be consensual slash in later chapters, Transformer swearing, angst, depression, death, trauma, mentions of masturbation._

_Units of Time:-_  
_Astrosecond- 1 second_  
_Klik- 1 minute_  
_Cycle- 1 hour_  
_Orn- 1 day_  
_Decacycle- 1 week_  
_Meta-cycle- 1 month_  
_Solar cycle- 1 year_  
_Vorn- 1 million years_

_Italics- Flashbacks/thoughts/memories/link speak. _

_Bold- Comm speak._

_Recognisable lines are borrowed/paraphrased from the 2007-2011 movies, accompanying games and other Transformers media. _

_I hope you enjoy the chapter and please review._

* * *

Acid Rain

Chapter One- Gathering Clouds

It started so finely that the brawling combatants barely noticed the bite of it into their frames, energon-lust blinding many to the growing danger.

However, noticed first by the mechs of the air, it soon began to fall in earnest, extinguishing the sparks of the severely wounded and causing agony even to the uninjured.

_**Retreat! Decepticons, retreat!**_ Starscream bellowed through the comm lines. _**Move, move! **_

The Autobots seemed to be following suit, running from the battlefield with injured comrades slung over their shoulders.

Some damaged Decepticons were lucky to have bonded partners, family members or close friends fighting beside them who picked them up as they fled.

Some, but by no means all.

As the screams following them were lost in the roar of the rain, a Seeker dropped from the sky, his armour lost to the liquid fire and protoform beginning to crumble. His optics searched the sky for his trine but he quickly closed them as drops pounded into the two pools of red, burning them terribly.

Shrieking and flailing, unable to help himself, the young flier was relieved to feel a strong pair of arms wrap around him and a frame shield his against the relentless rainfall.

A few more were lost as they urgently headed for home, the nearest shelter for members of their faction.

They burst inside, engines revving, tanks churning and sparks dancing with relief inside their chambers.

Breathless, metal scraped on metal as they clanged to the floor together in heaps, the doors banging shut behind them to protect them from any more pain or fear.

For all but one.

Starscream landed, vents heaving with exertion, and laid out his charge on the floor.

The half-blinded mech stared up at him in shock, 'Air Commander…'

The older Seeker nodded and turned away, 'don't expect it to happen again,' he returned curtly, wings sending waves of torment across his entire sensor net.

'No Sir… th-thank you.' The smaller mech's vocaliser broke into static and he shuddered.

Starscream was saved from having to say more as the mech's two trinemates came running up, chirping and cooing in reassurance to their third as they reached him, and he backed out of the loving scene.

Aching for his own wingmates, he flitted from one group of soldiers to another, taking in their status and sending information to the approaching medics through the comm line.

As the few medical professionals they had, including Hook, their CMO, reached the wounded, the SIC left the area completely.

He needed some time to compose himself alone before the inevitable summons from Megatron even if it meant his own injuries were not treated until later.

The mission had failed. The mech they had attempted to assassinate still lived and they had not gotten the information they had set out to.

Regardless of why or how, Starscream knew from past experience, even as he hoped otherwise, that the Commander would ultimately blame him for the loss and so take his frustrations out on his second.

Over the past two solar cycles that the flier had been SIC, Megatron had grown steadily more abusive and Starscream more cowed in response, each hurt cutting more deeply than the last.

Envying and hating the others for their freedom to release their fear, the Air Commander walked down the dark halls of Megatron's dwelling, a lavish base resting on top off a cliff with nothing but bare fields and open spaces below.

There had once been a thriving city but the Decepticon Lord had pulled back this section of his army into the central base and levelled all that remained to render a sneak attack by the Autobots impossible and to minimalize the chances of a spy infiltrating their forces there.

Lightning and thunder shook the base as the rain settled in for what would surely be a decacyle's long falling, Starscream cringed inwardly at the implications.  
He and the others were grounded until the skies cleared.

And they would all probably go hungry as well as their stocks might not hold up under the stress.

Shivering, the winged mech stopped and leaned heavily against the wall.

_I can't do this,_ the familiar sensations of a panic attack rose up through his systems, _please Primus_. He desperately tried to cycle air as he strained to ventilate, _don't call for me __**please**__, have some mercy in your cold spark and leave me be this once, please._

A sob crackled through his vocaliser as the once proud self-assured mech slumped to the floor.

Trying ineffectually to force his systems to function properly, he wrapped his arms around his legs in a tight ball and for a few precious kliks there was no sound in the corridor but the whirr of Starscream's internals and his deep and heavy ventilations.

**Starscream! **

The flier gave a whimper at his leader's vicious tone, curling up even more to make himself appear smaller.

**Get your worthless aft to my quarters before I come looking for you,** the larger mech snarled, a hint of a slur in his voice.

Frame wracked with tremors, Starscream dragging himself up to his pedes by clawing at the wall with his talons. **C-coming Master.**

A growl struck at the SIC through the comm. _**'C-coming Master', **_the once gladiator imitated cruelly, **vile little coward.**The connection slammed shut and the Seeker crept silently towards Megatron's quarters, unconsciously trying to blend into his surroundings so he wouldn't be noticed.

As to be expected with the pandemonium in another part of the base, the areas he crossed were empty and soundless, apart from the muffled steady patter of rain on the reinforced roof.

It sounded so deceptively innocent.

Eventually coming to a flight of stairs, Starscream clutched at the railing as if it were a lifeline and ascended apprehensively to the top.

Then his pedes travelled along one more large corridor to the ornate double doors at the end.

They were easily treble the flier's height and, when closed, quadruple his width. They were gold with a rich purple Decepticon emblem in the centre which spilt exactly in half when the doors opened.

As Starscream approached, one side opened outwards towards him and, as he passed inside, it shut with a sense of finality to seal him in.

Leaning on it, wincing at the pressure on his scorched wings and frantically working to calm himself with his breaths coming in sharp gasps, he bit clean through his lower lip component to stop a terrified shriek escaping when he heard Megatron forcefully snap out his name from deeper inside.

Placing one pede in front of the other, Starscream advanced a few paces and turned to the left to face the tyrant's desk and office space. Directly behind it was a door out onto Megatron's balcony where he could see for miles unhampered.

The Seeker himself had only been permitted out onto it a few times but found the magnitude of open skies with the clear plains beneath them breathtaking.

To one side there was another door leading into the Decepticon Lord's berthroom and another access point to the balcony through the back of it.

Behind the SIC lay Megatron's living area which, along with the expected furnishings (tables, chairs, couches and other pieces), was dominated by a massive and exquisitely detailed map of Cybertron.

The Commander's chair had its back to him and the door leading outside was wide open allowing the Warlord to safely watch the destructive rainfall in the usual darkness of his rooms.

The only illumination was provided by short sharp cracks of lightning, like an energon whip striking the sky.

Starscream forced himself forwards another few steps before his bravery completely failed him and he dropped to his knees, shrinking in on himself as much as he was able, being as unobtrusive as he could.

'You fail me yet again Starscream.' It was almost a whisper and filled with threat.

The Seeker couldn't see his Commander but still cringed as though he was standing over him. 'I'm sorry Master, but not even Soundwave predicted the rain-'

'Don't you dare blame Soundwave for this! I put _you_ in charge so it's _your_ responsibility.' Megatron cut him off and stood. He turned to face his second and slammed his cube of high grade into his desk where it shattered at the same time another bolt of lightning struck.

_Why not? He always scapegoats me._ Starscream thought desolately, flinching at the loud crashing noises. 'I-I-'

The Seeker blinked and his Commander was looming above him, 'you, you _what?'_

The SIC began to shake violently, '_please._'

Megatron gripped him by the throat and raised him into the air, other servo clenching into a fist to start punching Starscream's chassis, directly above his spark chamber. 'You incompetent, worthless, cowardly _imbecile._'

Energon rose in the flier's throat and dribbled down from the corners of his mouth, he scrabbled desperately at the servo holding him, silently pleading.

* * *

**Edited to fit TOS.**

* * *

The rain was still falling strongly as Megatron raised his aching helm cycles later, processor severely hung over from his orn's worth of drinking.

Blinking harshly he lifted his frame off the surface he had dropped into status on, bringing a servo up to rub his helm and burning optics. After a few moments his vision cleared and he froze, nausea gripping his spark, when he saw his second slumped on his desk in front of him.

Energon dripped down onto the metal, staining it a dull purple.

_Starscream…?_

There were light tremors running through the SIC's frame but not a sound emerged from him.

Megatron found his sight drawn to liquid, a mixture of dark purple energon, yellow medical lubricant and pearly white transfluid running down and sticking to both their legs and glistening on his spike.

The tyrant stepped away, unable to avert his gaze, as the need to purge rose in his tanks.

_No! No! I wouldn't have, not to one of my own soldiers. It had to have been willing, it must have been!_

Lightning flashed outside and it glinted off a piece of metal on the floor, catching his attention.

Bending over, he picked it up delicately between two claws to examine the warped thin strip of material.

His optics flicked from it, to Starscream's wings which were illuminated by a second flash, to his silent Seeker.

Turning completely to face his second, he crouched by the desk and extended a servo to stroke one of his SIC's, 'Starscream? Starscream, it's alright now, I'm going to repair you. Don't… don't be frightened.'

Gently he eased his second off of the desk and cradled the smaller mech to his chassis, carrying him through his berthroom to his private washracks.

Unlike the other mechs of the army, he had an energon bath which when bathed in repaired most injuries.

As he ran it and the energy glittered up at him, he looked down on his Seeker in his arms and bit at his lip components, wondering how he was going to do this.

Strangely reluctant to put Starscream down, he stepped into the bath and lowered himself and his second into the energy, less a tangible thing than a subtle change in the air.

_Warmth._

The flier squeaked softly as his frame dipped into the rainbow of colours, internal and external injuries healing or, if too serious to be entirely repaired through the energy alone, simply soothed.

Megatron, feeling his Seeker shiver as the sparkles touched him, used his engines to massage Starscream's frame in what he hoped was a calming manner.

Seeing his SIC curl into him, the tyrant's tanks rolled as he finally realised how small the scientist was in comparison to him, the drastic differences in everything from their respective weights to their strength.

Since Starscream had been promoted, Megatron had mercilessly mocked any display of fear the Seeker had made towards him…

_Of course he gets frightened, you're much stronger than him and you're not exactly renowned for your kindness are you?_ Optimus's voice berated him in his mind. _He used to look up to you, admire you; Primus knows why but he did, now look at what you've done to him!_Resting a servo on the smaller mech's helm and stroking it gently, Megatron began to think back on things, picturing Starscream how he had been a couple of solar cycles ago.

A truly beautiful mech. Intelligent, confident, self-assured, curious…

_Unique._

His armour had been rich in red, white and blue and it _shone_, catching the optics of all he passed, his voice sweet and a joy to listen to.

When Starscream had flown with his trine it had looked like the most skilled of artists performing.

_Deadly, perhaps my best soldier._

The SIC, apart from the initial noise of surprise, had yet to make a sound and had barely moved causing Megatron to grow more anxious with each passing moment, spark swirling wretchedly in its chamber.

He had been told, just before he made Starscream his second, that the best way to keep the Seeker's ambitions, personality and, at the time only minimal, rebelliousness in servo was to occasionally physically reprimand him. Soundwave and a couple of mechs who knew the flier intimately had confirmed and assured him of it and, for a while, it had worked well.

Even if Starscream did begin to lose faith in himself.

That had been the intention after all, to keep his servant in his place.

But then it seemed to swing too far the other way and the Seeker started to consistently fail in his tasks as his confidence faded.  
Megatron began to see, now that he was focussing on nothing else, how things had escalated.

It had started off with a small slap the first time Starscream and he had met immediately following the flier's promotion and had deteriorated from there.

Little flashes burst through his processor, flicking back and forth through time as he remembered them.

_The first time he beat Starscream publicly to teach him a lesson about slacking off and hiding things from his leader only to find out later, while the Seeker lay in critical condition in med bay, that the scientist had been designing him a new energon sword as a gift for the annual celebration of the creation of the Decepticons._

_The horrible rattle the flier had made after his first serious punishment and only betrayal, near-death._

_Starscream's forlorn faceplates when he returned from a mission to find that Megatron had sent his trinemates elsewhere and that he was forbidden to see them._

_The Seeker crying in front of him for the first time when he destroyed the scientist's life's work._

_The pleading look in his second's optics when Megatron granted Soundwave access to his mind in a punishment so Starscream would have no refuge during it._

_The sadness in his second's demeanour when he had broken and burnt the flier's carefully constructed models of Vos._

_The humiliation pervading Starscream's frame when Megatron had forcibly repainted him a dull silver and made it an order than he must stay that way._

_The terror when the tyrant had threatened the Seeker's wings for the first time._

_The twice almost madness when he had grounded his second for long periods of time. _

_The devastation and ensuing loneliness when Megatron labelled Starscream a whore for accepting suitors and banned anyone from courting him._

_The hurt bewilderment and embarrassment when he had forced his second to lick his pedes clean after a lost battle._

_The silence after he had crushed the winged mech's vocaliser and ruined his beautiful voice._

Beating after beating crossed his processor until guilt drowned his spark. Megatron had never planned things to go like this, had never wanted for his Seeker to suffer so much. He had simply desired his second's obedience and loyalty.

A sad small smile crossed his faceplates as he remembered the first time he had met the scientist, all alone in his lab…

* * *

_'Starscream.' He smirked at the startled flier, knowing he had his trinemates in Decepticon custody, 'working late are we?'_

_The Seeker stood and stared at him contemplatively, 'I was just about to go home Sir. As you say it is rather late and my family is expecting me.'_

_Megatron smiled at him, crossing the space with quick long strides to stand barely an inch from the flier, 'I have your trine my little trine leader.'_

_'I know,' they were so close the Warlord could feel Starscream's light ventilations on his frame, 'they told me in our link.'_

_'Not quickly enough to warn you, though,' Megatron couldn't help but point out._

_'Yes, they contacted me several kliks ago. If I had wished to leave I would have had plenty of time to do so Sir.'_

_The tyrant raised his optic ridges, 'you're a good actor. You'll make an excellent Decepticon.'_

_Starscream sighed sadly, 'I have little choice I suppose. I do not wish you to harm my trinemates.'_

_Megatron lifted the Seeker's chin to promise, 'as long as you serve me I will never hurt you, any of you.'_

_Starscream followed him tentatively hopeful from the lab and enlisted before the orn reached its end. _

* * *

He had been intrigued by the flier right from the beginning and he knew Starscream's curiosity had also been piqued in return by his apparent contradictory nature.

Megatron had been flattered to see when Starscream was lower in rank and far younger, on his private security cameras that he kept located around the base, that the Seeker would occasionally reach completion while self-servicing shouting out the tyrant's name.

Of course, Starscream believed that the Commander held no answering desire and Megatron saw him tell Thundercracker and Skywarp as such when they had warped in on their trine-leader in the act.

Countless punishments, even more opportunities to seduce Starscream properly...

_What a fragging waste, he snarled at himself, self-hatred growing in him as his anger at his own actions increased._

Realising that the energon bath had done as much as it was going to do for Starscream, the Warlord stood with him and returned to his berthroom, carefully tucking his second in between the sheets of his berth and sitting down on a nearby chair to watch over him.

Outside, the rain still fell, destroying everything it made contact with.

It showed no sign of ever stopping.

* * *

_Thanks for reading and please review. _


	2. Thunderstorm

_Author's Note- This chapter is posted in its entirety._

_Hello this is my first fic of this dark a nature so I would ask that you read the warnings carefully before reading and no flamers please. It's AU so you can imagine it however you want. _

_This story was partially inspired by Kami Count D's 'Crime and Punishment' fic and I would recommend you all to read it if you have not already (also if you like Starscream/Ironhide as a pairing 'Crime and Punishment's' companion fic 'The Enemy You Know' is also a very enjoyable read)._

_Unbetaed._

_Disclaimer- I do not own Transformers or its characters._

_Warnings (full uncensored version)- Rated MA. Non-con/graphic rape, violence, perhaps some slight gore and mutilation near/at the beginning, there may be consensual slash in later chapters, Transformer swearing, angst, depression, death, trauma, mentions of masturbation._

_Warnings of this chapter- Angst, mentions of rape, Transformer swearing and violence- I believe that's all for this one._

_Units of Time:-_  
_Astrosecond- 1 second_  
_Klik- 1 minute_  
_Cycle- 1 hour_  
_Orn- 1 day_  
_Decacycle- 1 week_  
_Meta-cycle- 1 month_  
_Solar cycle- 1 year_  
_Vorn- 1 million years_

_Italics- Flashbacks/thoughts/memories/link speak. _

_Bold- Comm speak._

_Recognisable lines are borrowed/paraphrased from the 2007-2011 movies, accompanying games and other Transformers media. _

_I hope you enjoy the chapter and please review._

* * *

Chapter Two- Thunderstorm

It was testament to Cybertron's deteriorating condition that an acid rain downpour could merge seamlessly with an electric storm to create sheer madness outside. Megatron watched, arm resting on his doorframe, as tornados were whipped up a few miles from the base and silver and purple lightning crisscrossed the sky. Small flecks of rain began to flick onto his armour so he turned away and closed the door.

Slumping at his desk he stared at it, optics fixed on the stains on the metal. He couldn't believe he'd done it _again. As a former gladiator and warrior make his basest nature consisted of death and interfacing, the former having made him kill his previous second, cruelly taunting the poor mech as he did so. After a few further violent outbursts Hook had recommended that the tyrant avoid high grade completely as it had a negative effect on the Warlord's already fragile control of himself._

It had been going so well. Regardless of what his SIC had believed Megatron had always been self-restrained around his Seeker no matter how bad a punishment had gotten. Regular visits to captured Autobots had kept his needs sated up until this last orn.

When he had come out of recharge there was only a couple of grey speckled clouds in the sky and it seemed as though the weather would be kind to the Decepticon Lord's mechs as they had left on their mission. However, a cycle or so after the last Seeker's thrusters had vanished from view the rain had begun to drizzle and, as Megatron watched, part of his balcony railing melted in front of him.

Clutching his chair and denting the arm rests, the Warlord had taken a deep ventilation and unsubspaced a few cubes of high grade and downed four or five in quick succession, optics darkening as the wind picked up and the deadly liquid began to pour down from the sky, cascading down like a waterfall.

After a while, with his gladiator programming's constant clamouring for dominance never louder in his helm, he gave into it thinking that locked up in his quarters he would pose no threat to his soldiers when, _if_, they came back.

Megatron's digits reached out to run lightly over the blemishes on the desk and his other servo reached out to begin emptying drawers out on the floor.  
In the arena when an opponent was defeated they were presented to the victor and the winning mech would then decide whether to kill their beaten adversary then and there or to have them taken to the champion's quarters to frag later instead. The Commander had never lost so that decision had quickly become an almost ornly occurrence and a large part, almost the entirety, of his existence.

At least, the Air Commander had been more fortunate than his previous SIC. The mech's blood red colour had already been fading to grey before any medic could be called and when his officers asked why Megatron had executed the skilled and loyal mech the tyrant had no answer for them. The Warlord gave the smaller mech, his _friend_ of millennia, an honourable burial and traditional ceremonial funeral.

Still, that he hadn't woken up to Starscream's dismembered frame in pieces around him offered little comfort. The fact remained, even as thunder crashed outside and shook the base, that his Air Commander's mind was possibly beyond repair.

And if it was what was Megatron to do?

To kill the flier, even as a form of euthanasia and with the CMO's approval, sounded selfish and harsh even to him. The tyrant supposed he would have to summon his SIC's trine back and have them look after him somewhere comfortable.

He could clearly see Hook's faceplates when he had handed the Constructicon Starscream's interfacing panel to repair. There had been a flash of something similar to the expression the CMO had given the first time he had been given the flier's wings to reattach that Megatron couldn't quite decipher before the crane had dipped his helm and strode past his leader to tend to the SIC.

From the tense way Hook had worked and the way he instantly sedated the flier so he would not be disturbed from his rest, going to stab the needle in furiously before pausing and doing it gently, as if he had needed to remind himself the Seeker was not the one his sudden ire was directed at, told Megatron exactly what was going through the CMO's processor.

Placing his servo on the smaller mech's shoulder the tyrant murmured against the medic's audio for him to speak freely. For a while there was silence as the perfectionist worked then Hook had jumped down from the berth and visibly wrestled with his temper, playing roughly with the tools in his servos. Megatron, in an effort to appear harmless, crossed the room to lean against his balcony door.

Eventually Hook growled with barely suppressed rage and, taking his Lord at his word that he could speak without restriction, snarled 'My Lord you are going to have to accept how this will look. There are mechs in the army who view Starscream as a youngling…' The CMO trailed off briefly grimacing before changing the topic abruptly, 'and you _know_ he's not mentally stable. I _warned_ you he wasn't!'

The Commander looked away, not angry but chastened.

The first time he had grounded Starscream he managed to coax the Seeker out of his cell himself even as the flier began to chitter at him in Seeker whimpering and it had taken several orns for the SIC to revert back to normal Cybertronian and to stop shivering. The second time however the SIC was unresponsive to him and by then the flier's trinemates had been sent to another planet and even with Skywarp's warping ability it would still have taken time for the two Seekers to reach their trine-leader.

Considering Starscream wasn't drinking energon, too much time.

Eventually, Megatron summoned Hook and the medic had managed to stir the flier and lead him unresistingly down to the med-bay to be examined.

* * *

_'Come along youngling, it's alright.' Hook's first words already aiming to sooth the distraught frightened mech._

_'It's dark.' Starscream whispered, optic fluid dripping down his faceplates, curling towards the medic's servo on his shoulder. 'T-trapped here.'_

_'I know it is rather dull here but you don't have to stay, I'm going to give you your wings back, won't that be nice? You'll be flying again in no time.' The CMO began to gently urge the flier to his feet, stroking up and down Starscream's back as he did so._

_'You promise?' The SIC's shaky voice uncharacteristically gave away how young he still was. _

_'I promise, little one, I promise.'_

* * *

After Hook had left to return to his still injured patients, muttering angrily to himself, the Warlord had wandered aimlessly back to the still open door behind his desk to stare out at the weather.

Standing, Megatron tore open the door and ripped the desk off of the floor. Spinning on his pede he threw it out into the unforgiving environment outside where it flew over the edge of the balcony for it to finally shatter on the ground inaudibly over the far more powerful roar of the wind and rain. The tyrant's armour was scorched and it sizzled loudly but he couldn't bring himself to care and fell with a clang onto his aft imagining what Optimus was going to think when he heard what his brother had done.

Whenever Megatron reprimanded himself it was his younger brother's voice he heard echoing in his processor and he was never entirely sure why. Outside of the battlefield the Prime had always spoken civilly to him in a very calm and controlled manner and before the war the red and blue mech had always spoken warmly to him.

It was doubtful he would get that kind of acceptance from the younger mech ever again now but he still thought of it from time to time, saw it in recharge occasionally.

Starscream desired him before he was promoted from fourth in command to second (Soundwave of course retained his post as TIC as always) and Megatron had found the winged mech intriguing but...

_Perhaps I am doomed to destroy any affection any mech has for me. Be it familial or otherwise._

Lying flat out on the floor it fleetingly occurred to him he was going to need a new desk to work on and as lightning illuminated the room a piercing purple,

Megatron pulled himself up with the wall and reclosed the door.

As he had waited for Hook, the Commander thought again of all the things he had done to his SIC over the solar cycles. Some could be undone, others couldn't but the Warlord was given a multitude of ideas to work with to help make his second feel better.

The arrival of the electric storm had disrupted the external comm system so Starscream's trine could not yet be contacted but Megatron would send for them as soon as possible. Other things could be done immediately. The CMO had promised to return with a new vocaliser for the SIC and to look for paints to return the winged mech to his original colours…

When the tyrant had sent Thundercracker and Skywarp away it was due to his repainting of their trine-leader. As a demonstration of their love for Starscream they had gotten their own colours stripped and painted each other the same dull horrible shade. Megatron had been watching on his security cameras when they had warped in to the oldest Seeker's quarters to present to him their new paintjobs.

The trine-leader was visibly devastated that his trinemates beautiful colours were gone and had gripped them both in a harsh hug, caressing their wings and chirping at them in their native tongue, crooning tenderly to them before whispering to them that he loved them in standard Cybertronian.

In a moment of jealousy Megatron had called for his second in their private comm link to break up the warm scene and the flier had been forced to pull away from his trinemates and leave the room. As Starscream approached him through the base the tyrant decided to send his second on a fabricated reconnaissance mission so he could transfer the two Seekers without hindrance.

Megatron's vents vibrated in a sigh only now beginning to feel guilty for the action. If he hadn't sent his SIC's trinemates away then Starscream would never have been convinced to betray him shortly afterwards.

Lightning struck his balcony leaving a vivid black mark on the otherwise brilliant silver and the suddenness of the event and the deafening bang it created shocked his processor back to the present to refocus on the other things he was planning.

There was nothing he could do about the scientist's destroyed work himself but he could spare a bit of funding and materials and give some time and his permission for the Seeker to redo it. Some mechs in the army had some artistic talent and could make Starscream some new models of his destroyed home and...

A particularly vicious wind battered the base and the door to his berthroom shook perceptibly.

_Yes, yes you're doing all these things but is it really to make Starscream feel better or are you using it as an excuse to avoid looking at him?_ Optimus's voice accused, _it has been two orns and, apart from when Hook was here, have you checked on him? Did you even __**glance**__ at him when the medic was here? _

_…No…_ Even when the CMO was working Megatron's optics only looked at the tools not the mech they were repairing.

_I thought not._ His brother's voice was smug.

_Frag off!_ Megatron's snarl added itself to the rage of the storm.

_What are you afraid of? He is deep in recharge and no threat to you._

Clenching his fists, the Commander started towards the door, but like Starscream two orns previously he reached a certain point and his nerve failed him.

Standing silently mere paces from the door, Megatron bit viciously at his lip components as Optimus chanted _coward_ in his helm.

Once he had left the Seeker the first time he hadn't been able to force himself to re-enter the room apart from when Hook was there to distract him from the prone figure in the berth.

Slowly his servo reached up, silencing his brother's voice and seemingly even the thunder outside for a moment, and opened the door. Not thinking at all how strange he looked, Megaton crept into his own berthroom and again stopped in the pitch darkness. Optics flicked around the room focussing on anywhere but the berth. Hastily he went through into his wash racks and closed the door behind him, quickly activating the lights.

Leaning on the door his claws clicked against it as he shook. _If I stay here I can hide for a while and… and… and I need a wash anyway! I need to get the burns off my armour... _

Running an energon bath for himself he settled into the tub as the energy submerged most of his frame. Dipping his arms into it and watching the worst of his injuries fade, he tried to keep his processor blank.

* * *

Cycles later, the Warlord's frame shot up, systems completely online and aware. In the other room there was the sound of revving engines and distressed clicking sounds. Pulling himself out of the bath, he rushed into the berthroom only to see his second gone from the berth.

Rounding it, he found Starscream scratching frantically at the balcony door and venting loudly, chittering and breaths coming in small struggling gasps. Staring,

Megatron commed Hook and thanked Primus that their internal comm links within the base still worked.

**Yes Lord Megatron.** The medic sounded harried and the Commander flinched, remembering the report the smaller mech had given him about the others.

And it hadn't even been _complete. _

**What is this?** The tyrant described what his flier was doing even as Starscream curled himself into a ball and started to rock, optics tightly shut.

Hook sighed and murmured, **just leave him, he'll calm himself given time. **

**What is it?** Megatron questioned watching Starscream tremble.

**A panic attack My Lord. It's best to leave him to regulate his systems himself; it gets worse if he feels crowded.**

**So I just watch?** The tyrant sat on the edge of the berth.

**He knows what to do; he has them fairly often, **Hook attempted to reassure.

_Yes directly after and before his meetings with you,_ Optimus hissed.

**He should exhaust himself,** the medic continued, **then you can put him back in the berth Sir.**

As rain pounded against the door Starscream whimpered in terror and curled even tighter in on himself.

**Hook…** Megatron trailed off, unsure what to say, if there was something he should be asking.

**They don't normally last more than a few kliks My Liege. With the lack of energon in his tank he should drop back into recharge naturally. **Hook was clearly trying to sound clinical but wasn't quite succeeding. **Do you wish me to come up and set a drip up for him Master? **The green and purple mech offered, having forgot in his hurry to return to his med-bay the previous orn.

The tyrant thought for a moment then told the CMO to come when he had a moment, more to have someone else there with him than for the medical reason stated and as the comm link cut he contacted his TIC to tell him to report to him in four cycle's time to look into Starscream's processor.

The telepath as the unofficial psychiatrist of the army knew more about mech's minds and emotions than anyone else within the Decepticons. Of course he hardly ever fulfilled this function as his other role was that of interrogator and so he generally wasn't found to be trustworthy enough to confide deep dark secrets in.

Telling Soundwave to keep their meeting quiet he signed off. As Hook had claimed, Starscream was gradually quietening and his frame was beginning to lean to one side to eventually lie out on the ground, knees held closely to his chassis as he curled himself as small as he could get before he finally fell still, ventilations slightly fast even in recharge.

Moving slowly across the floor, pedes silent even as the storm outside mocked his efforts, Megatron eased his arms under his second's much smaller frame and picked him up carefully to put him back in the berth.

As he began to leave the room to wait for Hook, the tyrant noticed Starscream shivering under the cover. Realising that his rooms would be cold for slighter forms he returned to the flier's side and, pulling out a blanket from under the berth, he covered his second with it and smiled gently in slight relief when the Seeker's trembling ceased and his faceplates relaxed marginally.

Hook had wanted the flier kept in medically induced recharge so that when he woke up and had his processor and all the problems it would present to deal with, he would at least physically be fine as his systems would have already recalibrated themselves so he wouldn't have to handle it.

Megatron, at a loss for what to do, crossed his rooms to look at his map of Cybertron. Settling comfortably into a lavish and rich purple chair his optics roamed over known Autobot bases trying to busy himself and ignore his brother's chiding cruel voice in his helm but his thoughts began to wander.

The Warlord had told the CMO to inform the others the ban on courting Starscream was lifted but, as the Constructicon had rightfully pointed out, the Seeker may not _want_ suitors jumping on him as soon as the flier returned to his own quarters. If he ever did. He may not ever feel ready for a relationship if it was found that the flier had lost his ability to trust other mechs.

As it was Starscream was renowned for being reclusive since his trine had left and even before that he had only ever been seen alone or with them.

_What have I reduced him to? _

Leaning back as lightning struck outside, his optics no longer focussed on the well-defended fortified enemy base his gaze had lit upon, the Decepticon Lord's sight turned inward as a picture perfect image of his second orns after he had enlisted flashed in his processor.

By then, Starscream had been infected by all the excitement and camaraderie the others shared and laughed contentedly with his trinemates and their fellow fliers. Megatron had caught him out the corner of his optic staring admirably at him as he gave his speeches more than once.

Confident in all matters but courting in which a rare shyness would come over the scientist and he would often fumble quite adorably when he tried. Apparently some of the others had found this as endearing as Megatron did and the Seeker had soon found himself showered with gifts and compliments.

Suitors from all factions of the army, from other Seekers to grounder tacticians, had expressed their interest in Starscream.

The Commander admitted to himself as thunder rumbled ominously outside that he had not reacted well, in fact his response was described by the others as needlessly vicious. The poor SIC had been tormented in front of all like a spectacle for entertainment with the tyrant growling and yelling sparkbreaking insults at his sobbing begging flier. While Starscream cowered at his pedes Megatron caught the optics of all present and forbade them to consort with the Seeker beyond faction issues.

At least the flier would have his trinemates returned to him when the storm passed. Maybe, if he wasn't alone, then he would be able to recover fully.

As Hook pinged him to let him know he was ascending the stairs, the Commander stood to watch his double doors, while overly large to Starscream they were a comfortable height and width for the Warlord but still managed to appear impressive when he emerged from them and so suited his purpose completely.

Without question the winged mech was entirely his responsibility but that didn't mean he knew what to do with Starscream now. The methods he had come to rely on were unusable, would undoubtedly cause more damage to the already hurting Seeker.

Reassuring himself that he had time to play with and to plan what he was going to do, the tyrant approached the doors to greet his CMO, glad that his roof was reinforced the way the merciless rain was battering it. Hook's frame dipped into a neat respectful bow, no doubt wishing to hide the look in his optics from his leader, and they returned to the tyrant's berthroom together.

The medic slipped another sedative into the flier and set up a drip for him gently before turning to look at his Commander. 'My Lord I need to ask… about Starscream's spark…'

'No!' Megatron snapped, 'of course I didn't!'

'I needed to know My Lord,' Hook calmly justified, optics swirling.

'I know,' the Warlord's anger faded. Naturally the green and purple mech as head medic had to know pre-existing injuries and vulnerabilities of his patients for future reference in case surgery or treatment was required and other such matters. 'Is your work complete?'

'Yes My Lord unless you have something you wish me to do?'

'No, no you may leave,' the tyrant gave a dismissive gesture.

'Thank you Sir,' the Constructicon headed for the door before freezing. 'Oh My Lord, I found this.' Hook dropped a vocaliser into Megatron's metallic palm murmuring, 'I picked this up while getting spare parts, I believe it should provide quite a melodious sound.'

The tyrant's optics locked onto the medic's innocent ones for a moment and nodded, turning away from the smaller mech and hearing the outer doors close kliks later.

**Sir? **Hook addressed him suddenly, **my gestalt and I will design and construct a new desk for you when the med-bay empties if that is acceptable?**

Giving an affirmative and closing the comm link, Megatron sighed. If only it was just needing a new desk that was the problem.

Carefully subspacing the vocaliser, the tyrant left the room, the patter of the rainfall following him wherever he went.

* * *

_I hope you all enjoyed it and please review._


	3. Lightning Strikes Twice

_Author's Note- __After some thought I have decided to post censored versions of my work on site and, if you would like to read the full versions the link to my A03 account is on my profile._

_Hello this is my first fic of this dark a nature so I would ask that you read the warnings carefully before reading and no flamers please. It's AU so you can imagine it however you want. _

_This chapter is entirely from Soundwave's POV and contains Soundwave/Megatron slash in a flashback. Soundwave's origins are based on those described in Transfomers Prime: (spoilers) a gladiator who nearly bested Megatron (Megatronus) in the arena in Kaon and so they both gained respect of each other through that (end spoilers). _

_This story was partially inspired by Kami Count D's 'Crime and Punishment' fic and I would recommend you all to read it if you have not already (also if you like Starscream/Ironhide as a pairing 'Crime and Punishment's' companion fic 'The Enemy You Know' is also a very enjoyable read)._

_Special thanks to poisonouswaffle'n-stuffs, sakiko of soleana, The-writing-Mew, Blazestar of Shadowclan, Prototron MJ Tornada, Random523, Kitt SummerIsle, fan girl 666 and StarscreamGirl for their reviews._

_Unbetaed._

_Disclaimer- I do not own Transformers or its characters._

_Warnings- Rated M. Non-con/graphic rape, violence, perhaps some slight gore and mutilation near/at the beginning, there may be consensual slash in later chapters, Transformer swearing, angst, depression, death, trauma, mentions of masturbation._

_Warnings of this chapter- Slash (Soundwave/Megatron), angst, mentions of rape, Transformer swearing and violence._

_Units of Time:-_

_Astrosecond- 1 second_

_Klik- 1 minute_

_Cycle- 1 hour_

_Orn- 1 day_

_Decacycle- 1 week_

_Meta-cycle- 1 month_

_Solar cycle- 1 year_

_Vorn- 1 million years_

_Italics- Flashbacks/thoughts/memories/link speak. _

_Bold- Comm speak._

_Recognisable lines are borrowed/paraphrased from the 2007-2011 movies, accompanying games and other Transformers media. _

___I hope you enjoy the chapter and please review._

* * *

Chapter Three- Lightning Strikes Twice

_Energon supply: 4378 cubes. Number of soldiers: currently unknown due to med-bay confusion but 86% chance of being over 2000 mechs. Estimated duration of storm: two decacycles. Amount injured: unknown but numerous. Amount of energon needed: increased for convergence to med-grade. Energon supply: 76% chance of being insufficient. Temporary severe rationing: necessary. Exact chance that storm may continue for longer than two decacycles: unknown but probability high. _

Soundwave's processor whirled silently as he ascended the stairs sending waves of comfort to his symbiotes in their link as they cowered from the storm in his quarters. The telepath knew that he was expected to do something for Megatron to Starscream but the particulars were unknown.

Pinging his Commander as he reached the top corridor to let Megatron know he was close, he was unsurprised to see the left door open in welcome as he approached and his leader come to the entrance to greet him.

'Soundwave…' the telepath heard uncharacteristic hesitance in the Warlord's voice, 'there is something we need to discuss…'

Kliks later he was led to Megatron's berthroom to a sedated Starscream. Sitting down on the chair beside the berth, Soundwave looked to the tyrant only to see that the larger mech was leaving and the door was shutting behind him.

Laying a servo over the SIC's forehelm, the TIC tuned out the crashes and spark stopping bangs outside that tried to threaten his concentration. However as he prepared to dive into Starscream's mind and the sounds of the storm faded, his own memories were the ones to distract him and he could see them clearly in his processor.

Once Megatron had told him everything, or at least what he presumed was everything as he respected his leader far too much to ever invade his thoughts without permission, it had inevitably brought his own first experience of interfacing to the forefront of his processor.

Like Starscream, his seal had also been broken by the Decepticon Lord, in circumstances that hit too close to his spark for the telepath's peace of mind.

If their roles were reversed, what had happened to the flier might have happened to him and vice versa…

* * *

_Lying on the ground, Soundwave stared up along the blade in his opponent's servo into deep intelligent red optics, venting quietly. The gladiator above him stepped back, energon sword falling to his side, to allow the telepath to pull himself to his knees and wait patiently for judgement. Mere moments after he settled into the dirt, Megatronus threw his weapon to one side where it fell with a thump and small shower of dust and rested his servo on Soundwave's shoulder, using the other to pull the energon covered warrior to his pedes._

_The one-orn Decepticon took two steps back, careful to lose no more of his dignity by slipping in the energon of both combatants streaking the floor, and bowed first to the Champion of the fight and then turned to do the same for the crowd where, unlike most defeated mechs before him, he was cheered and applauded almost as though it were he who was the victor._

_Turning proudly on his pede, he limped without faltering to the medic waiting on the sidelines. As soon as he was out of sight of prying optics, his frame collapsed exhaustedly on a med-bay berth._

_What a fight! He'd never had such an opponent, one who thrilled and surprised him at every turn. He knew, of course, exactly what he owed the other mech in return for his life but the purple mech was content, there was no one more worthy to break his seal than someone who had bested him in fair combat after all._

_The medic quickly set to work on the damage, repairing energon lines and welding tears, some of which having gone straight through his armour and into his protoform, and other such inconveniences. Soundwave stared up at the ceiling, ignoring the silent medic and the vivid orange digits which flew across the gladiator's frame, and decided spontaneously to retrieve his best wax from his quarters._

_He knew it probably wouldn't be a pleasant experience but he could at least try not to look like slag when he turned up, it was technically a special occasion or at least it was to him. Logically, the purple mech rationalised that he would probably be back in this position in mere cycles time, and would possibly need his valve internals completely redone. Although, he seldom was merciful to the few opponents he spared and so why should he expect better treatment than he had bestowed on them?_

_Megatronus might be kind as he should be in a good mood from his win, but in all likelihood he would be brutal and smug at taking such a proud mech's virginity._

_He might be overenergised in which case Soundwave should be careful how he worded his speech, monotonic as it was, and how he behaved as most gladiators after drinking too much high grade became both defensive and increasingly aggressive. Any ill-timed gesture could be taken as a challenge with easily deadly consequences._

_It was these situations that made the logical mech glad that he didn't process emotion as keenly as his peers; it made it easy to quell the small amount of panic inside him that would have been heavily magnified in others, and to remind himself that, although he had likely predictions, his data was insufficient for his processor to state with finality and definitiveness exactly what was going to happen this night cycle._

_The medic, several feet smaller but a little wider than Soundwave's stick like figure, straightened and stepped away from the berth, helm bowed, to indicate that the repairs were complete and to give the telepath room to leave._

_Walking out into the hall and towards his quarters, Soundwave's spark whirled with uncertainty, disliking his lack of knowledge about his future. His agent, or rather his owner, was waiting for him, leaning arrogantly on the door to the purple mech's living area. Despite the reputation it would gain him and the death sentence it would certainly put on his helm, the future Decepticon TIC was considering killing the putrid slagger._

_Just a small burst of telekinetic energy and he could fry the enslaver's processor he believed quite painfully. And slow if he so desired._

_As expected, on seeing his gladiator the large green and yellow mech glared and strode over, slapping the telepath hard enough across the faceplate to send his helm flying to one side before stomping off snarling. The purple mech shrugged it off and entered his rooms heading straight for his washracks to get rid of the grime, dust and energon caked into his frame._

* * *

_Walking towards the other gladiator's quarters, Soundwave sighed softly through his vents and knocked on the door. A service drone answered and beckoned him in, tapping his throat twice to indicate he was mute, and handed the telepath a datapad before leaving._

_Pressing the power button and reading the surprisingly elegant Cybertronian script, the purple mech processed the new information he was being presented with. _

* * *

_Gladiator Soundwave,_

_My apologies but I have been detained by my agent. You are welcome to wait in my quarters and there is a cube of high grade waiting for you on the living room table. _

_I will be with you shortly,_

_Megatronus._

* * *

_The telepath crossed the room to the table and sat at it, delicately taking the cube offered in servo. As he put it up to his faceplates to smell it and his scanners tested it thoroughly for any anomaly, Soundwave thought about the way the note had begun formally and got steadily more informal as it progressed; it could have been because the larger fighter was pressed for time but nevertheless the purple mech relaxed minimally and settled into the firm chair which provided wonderful support for his back._

_Looking around, Soundwave approved of the functionality and simplicity of the primarily tarnished brown and soft yellow areas Megatronus used. Everything clearly had an intended place and was well-organised in sections, maximising available space. Though bland in places, nothing was garish or made him feel uncomfortable._

_In a word the other mech's rooms were sensible and served to soothe his spark and processor with yet more promising data._

_Megatronus strode in moments later and the telepath extended a single mental tendril to caress the stronger mech's mind, not overly invasively just connecting him to the surface of the other mech's thoughts so he could see and understand the silver mech's moods. _

_The other gladiator smiled to see that Soundwave was settled and calm waiting for him and the purple mech heard the fleeting thought that others hadn't been nearly so rational about this, and Megatronus said it himself moments after stopping the slightly smaller mech from dropping into a kneel and sat on the chair beside him at the metallic dirty yellow table._

'_I've never had someone be so at ease with me in this situation before,' he purred half-questioningly._

'_Explanation: Megatronus defeated Soundwave. Megatronus:… worthy of Soundwave. Life debt: owed. Right: earnt. Soundwave: content.' The purple mech tried to infuse his droning tone and short statements with some earnestness, wincing internally when he failed to make his voice sound even slightly different._

_To Soundwave's surprise, the silver mech's smile widened into an amiable grin, and his mind registered the other mech's understanding._

'_I'm not often gentle,' Megatronus sipped at his glowing energon, 'but then it is not often that the mech beneath me is one I respect.'_

_The thin mech's visor flickered in gratitude as he informed the other gladiator that he respected him also, extending his cube forwards for Megatronus to clink his own against._

_Half a cycle later, in which they discussed their fight in detail and praised each other's skills and described how they both became gladiators (the silver mech's optics had noticeably darkened when the telepath had mentioned his agent), Soundwave watched the silver mech set his empty cube down and stand. _

_Normally, the purple mech avoided high grade, not liking how it clouded his processor and dulled his otherwise razor sharp senses. This meant that, while he was not completely inebriated, the other gladiator's homebrew hit his tanks quite hard and skewed his sense of balance. Using the table to push himself to his pedes, the telepath was mildly alarmed when he tried to approach his host's berth and stumbled. _

* * *

**_Edited to fit TOS._**

* * *

_When he woke, Megatronus was gone and a datapad waited on the pillow._

* * *

_Soundwave,_

_Energon is waiting for you on the table. Do not leave until after we have spoken._

_I hope you rested well,_

_Megatronus. _

* * *

_When the other gladiator returned it was with an official looking datapad in servo. Megatronus grinned at him as he handed it to the curious telepath and he read it quickly and then again more slowly, and again as he gave short vents unable to comprehend what had just been gifted to him._

_His__** freedom.**_

'_Query…'_

_The other gladiator quietened him with a kiss._

* * *

He had never found out how Megatron had managed to get his agent to let him go, and for _free _no less and the datapad was constantly kept safe in his subspace, a treasured possession to remind him he was free and that Megatron was more than worthy of his service and respect_. _

When his future Commander had offered him a place beside him, Soundwave had accepted and became the gladiator's bodyguard. They seldom interfaced, instead becoming close companions and sparring partners, and when the telepath met Shockwave the two had soon bonded with Megatron's blessing…

The telepath shook himself mentally and focussed back to the task at hand, that of going into Starscream's mind on their leader's behalf to see categorically the state it was in and to ascertain exactly how much damage had been done.

Shutting off his sight receptors he vented loudly then slowly immersed himself into the winged mech's processor until the Air Commander was all his sensors could register.

'Starscream: greetings offered.' Soundwave called out into the Seeker's mind but no one answered him. This did not necessarily mean that the SIC was ignoring him although he could be as they were hardly on good terms, the flier could simply have locked himself deeper inside his processor, hiding to protect himself, so the purple mech's essence travelled deeper in search of the elusive Seeker.

Flickers of memories and thoughts passed through and over him but they were too old to be of any relevance now so he disregarded them and kept going, rather like driving on an empty highway. Locked files came up like doors around him but he knew the dates of each one after a simple passing glance and, again, they were not recent enough.

It was as if all Starscream's memories of being in the army were sealed tight and concealed away from these past, and by the feel of them happy, experiences leaving Soundwave to wonder whether the flier had placed them like this, deciding to keep them so deliberately and excessively separate in his mind; or was it a case of the folders and files refusing to be near each other or mix in together like water would when exposed to oil?

'Request: assistance and guidance,' the telepath tried to let Starscream know that he was a harmless visitor and there were only certain things he wished the flier to show and tell him. It was never wise when inside someone else's domain to be deliberately antagonistic unless you were willing to inflict damage on the host of the mind you were situated in. 'Harm: unintended. Help: offered.'

If the flier was listening then the Decepticon third had made sure that the connection between them worked both ways only Starscream would not be able to go so far into the purple mech's processor. If the Air Commander looked he would see the truth in his vorns-long enemy's words.

Hopefully it would prove enough to earn Starscream's trust.

Suddenly, like the rush of air that follows the passing of a train, Soundwave felt himself thrown forward and then silence and blackness surrounded him. Bewildered, the purple mech looked around him before a sharp light blinded him and stabbed at his essence as if a door had been thrown open to reveal shockingly brilliant sunshine. It only lasted a moment before it ceased and he looked up to see Starscream's own essence curled into a ball and staring at him with bright glowing red optics, made even brighter by the film of optic fluid over each one.

When the Seeker didn't speak, Soundwave pulled himself shakily to his pedes and made to approach only for Starscream's essence to vanish and a new scene to be cast up around him leaving the telepath safely off to the side so he would only be simply a spectator to the play the Seeker wanted to show him.

* * *

**Edited to fit TOS**

* * *

A deep aching sadness, both the Seeker's and his own, surrounded him and wrapped around his spark as the memory faded and nothingness was all he could see once more.

A few astroseconds later a sparkling appeared in front of him, a Seekerlet that was clearly Starscream a few solar cycles after his creation, gazing up at him with pained optics. He was accompanied by the sound of quiet crying which echoed around them. 'Why do you all hate me?' He whimpered, tiny wings shivering in his distress, 'I only ever wanted to help.'

Unable to help himself at the sight of a little one, even though it was an illusion Starscream's processor had created to shield himself, the telepath knelt and scooped the tiny Cybertronian into his arms. 'Starscream: not hated. Lord Megatron: sad that you are hurting. Lord Megatron: sorry.' Without quite meaning to the telepath fell into the same kind of speech patterns that he used after Ratbat had had a bad memory flux.

'He's never sorry,' the sparkling sniffled, 'b-blames me for e-everything.'

'Lord Megatron: stressed. Lord Megatron: does not like to hurt Starscream.' The former gladiator was reasonably sure this was true, or at least it had been in the beginning and maybe could be again. 'Query: would Starscream like presents?'

'Presents?' The flier whispered, nuzzling the telepath's chassis and beginning to twitter softly, still acutely upset.

'Statement: when Starscream is better and wakes up, Starscream will be given gifts by Lord Megatron. Statement: Starscream can come and speak to Soundwave whenever Starscream wants to.'

'But you hurt me too,' Starscream whispered, 'and you told him to hit me…'

'Soundwave: sorry,' the telepath murmured, 'Soundwave:… obeys Lord Megatron. Protection of self and symbiotes: paramount. Loyal to Lord Megatron: total. However: Soundwave wishes to help. Suggestion: Soundwave and Starscream work together from now on. Explanation: Lord Megatron will no longer need to harm Starscream because Starscream will be supervised and loyal like Soundwave.'

'My mind?' The sparkling asked quietly, the sound of weeping that had been audible since they had started to speak faded if only for the moment.

'Starscream's mind: safe,' the purple mech promised.

'Spark hurts,' the Seeker sobbed, tiny digits clutching at the TIC.

For a long while, Soundwave's essence sat deep inside Starscream's mind, holding and rocking the version of Starscream the Seeker had chosen to share with him until the SIC's own essence vanished from his grip and he pulled out and away from the flier's mind.

* * *

Soundwave withdrew from Starscream's processor hearing the thunder crash as if in the distance and looked up to Megatron. 'Primary issue: due to spark. Processor: damaged by it.' _Starscream: devastated. Primary cause: Megatron. Secondary cause: Soundwave._

The tyrant sighed through his vents and reached out to squeeze his third's shoulder armour, 'is his mind… salvageable?'

'Answer: possible. Probability: unknown. Better estimation: possible when Starscream wakes up from sedation.' Soundwave informed after contemplation.

Megatron sighed through his vents before nodding and thanking then dismissing him.

As the telepath left his Commander's quarters, he couldn't help but feel his own fond memories of his seal breaking had somehow been defiled by Starscream's violent ones and it filled him with a deeper sadness than he had known he'd had the capacity to feel.

Outside the wind whistled mournfully.

* * *

_I hope you all enjoyed it and please review._


	4. First Light

_Author's Note- After some thought I have decided to post censored versions of my work on site and, if you would like to read the full versions the link to my A03 account is on my profile. This chapter is posted in it's entirety as I believe it falls into the standard M-rated guidelines. 'Praise' will be up soon along with the others once I've worked through them._

_Hello this is my first fic of this dark a nature so I would ask that you read the warnings carefully before reading and no flamers please. It's AU so you can imagine it however you want._

_This story was partially inspired by Kami Count D's 'Crime and Punishment' fic and I would recommend you all to read it if you have not already (also if you like Starscream/Ironhide as a pairing 'Crime and Punishment's' companion fic 'The Enemy You Know' is also a very enjoyable read)._

_Unbetaed._

_Disclaimer- I do not own Transformers or its characters._

_Warnings (full uncensored version on archiveofourown- see link on my profile)- Rated MA. Non-con/graphic rape, violence, perhaps some slight gore and mutilation near/at the beginning, there may be consensual slash in later chapters, Transformer swearing, angst, depression, death, trauma, mentions of masturbation._

_Warnings for this chapter- Transformer swearing, depression, trauma, hints at past rape (not described). _

_Units of Time:-_  
_Astrosecond- 1 second_  
_Klik- 1 minute_  
_Cycle- 1 hour_  
_Orn- 1 day_  
_Decacycle- 1 week_  
_Meta-cycle- 1 month_  
_Solar cycle- 1 year_  
_Vorn- 1 million years_

_Italics- Flashbacks/thoughts/memories/link speak. _

_Bold- Comm speak._

_Recognisable lines are borrowed/paraphrased from the 2007-2011 movies, accompanying games and other Transformers media. _

_I hope you enjoy the chapter and please review._

* * *

Chapter Four- First Light 

Hook and Knock Out normally got along well running the med-bay together, both perfectionists in their own ways by nature, but the situation was straining even their close friendship, camaraderie being pushed to the limit. The fact was there was no offer by their leaders to take control of the growing problems.

Megatron was focussed on Starscream, Soundwave was trying to protect and reassure his creations while working out the practicalities of their inevitable energon rationing and Shockwave was nowhere to be found…

Those Seekers not injured had barricaded themselves in their communal area and the younger ones could be heard wailing from the other side of the base.

What wasn't helping at that particular moment was that Knock Out's bondmate Breakdown was constantly looking at the Stunticon of the same designation with thinly veiled disgust, intensifying the smaller mech's paranoia no end, his frame trembling violently as the purple and green mech tried to tend to his injuries.

After sending the shivering mech off to curl up with a whimpering Dead End in the Stunticon's quarters, the CMO glared at his immediate subordinate and Breakdown's smirk and stalked off to tend to the severely damaged Conehead trine.

Thunder rolled loudly and the energy of the electric storm audibly crackled through the thick stone and concrete walls.

A mere cycle later Hook and Knock Out faced off in the centre of the med-bay, growling venomously at each other but, before they could launch at each other snarling threats (Hook on the automobile's finish, Knock Out on his superior's optics), the high-pitched piercing shrieking of a life-support machine flat lining reached their audios and they both dove for Motormaster's berth instead, throwing their pent up frustrated energies into saving not just the foreboding mech but his gestalt brothers as well.

When the massive Decepticon lay, spark pulse weak but there, and as stable as could be expected, Hook sighed and offered his vain companion a small smile. 'I apologise, threatening your paintjob was uncalled for.'

The ruby red mech shrugged, offering an energon-stained servo for Hook to shake with his equally discoloured appendage. After doing so, the senior medic sent Knock Out off to get cleaned up (noticing the grimace on his subordinate's faceplates) with his mate before dropping exhausted into a nearby chair, drifting into recharge as the door slid closed behind his comrades.

* * *

Megatron sat beside Starscream's temporary berth listening to a memory file he had of his second singing to drown out the pounding rain outside and the throbbing ache within his spark chamber. It benefitted the former more than the latter. He hoped his CMO was right in saying that the replacement vocaliser would allow his Seeker to do so as beautifully again.

The tyrant hadn't meant to damage the flier permanently, only wanting the younger mech to be quiet at the time, he'd simply misjudged the pressure he was putting on the delicate device. He'd gotten his wish for a long while as Starscream had to learn to speak with his mutilated vocaliser without using it too often as Hook claimed it would be broken entirely, until it and the flier adjusted. For decacycles the SIC was reduced to writing most of what he wanted to say on datapads and had to stay behind after each and every meeting to put his opinions forth properly.

Even then the sight of Starscream trembling and shying away from him wasn't a pleasant one.

It together riled and saddened him, the gladiator side abhorring the display of weakness, while the remaining scraps of the rest of his being despised seeing his Seeker in such a state in equal measure.

It never used to be like this, so hard to keep himself reigned in, but then his urges weren't satisfied as often as before. One slaughter in a blue moon didn't compare to ornly killing and even Autobot prisoners were getting fewer and farer between.

If only Prowl had joined their side, his skills combined with Soundwave's would have won Megatron the war vorns ago. As it was the two engaged in a constant battle of wits that seemed to remain in a perpetual stalemate despite both their tireless efforts. It was why he'd sent his own second after his brother's, the Praxian's deactivation would be a decisive blow to the Autobot forces especially as it would send his bondmate, the third in command of the opposite faction, to the Well with him.

Yet again the black and white mech cheated death, by all rights he should have died when Praxus had been destroyed.

Luck had fallen in his brother's favour, the _good, just _and _honest _Prime and his merry band of altruists.

Whereas Starscream and he and been cursed to lose once more through not any error on their side nor any skilful manoeuvre or strategy on the part of their enemy, but because of the _fragging weather!_

Maybe Primus was trying to tell him something…

No that was ridiculous, these kinds of storms were growing in frequency; it hadn't been a malicious act aimed at them, just a natural event occurring at an inopportune time.

Gently he reached out his servo to lay it over the smaller mech's. As far as Starscream knew his leader never visited him when he was injured but that was only because Megatron made sure to only go when he was sedated, wanting to make sure he wouldn't be responsible for another of his second's terminations.

Checking his internal chronometer the Warlord realised that Starscream's sedative would be wearing off soon.

He still wasn't sure what he was going to say… Soundwave suggested giving the flier a datapad on the behaviour of gladiators, appeal to the Seeker's scientific nature in an attempt to help Starscream rationalise it, make it less overwhelming.

But that seemed too clinical, at least on its own.

The wind howled miserably as Starscream's optics fluttered blearily open; normally blood red the pair had turned almost orange, disturbing Megatron more than he would like to admit.

The Seeker stared up at him for a moment before fleeing, stumbling, to the other side of the room, keening as he tore the drip painfully from his arm.

Freezing, remembering what Hook had said about not making Starscream feel trapped, Megatron crossed the room into his main living area and dropped gracefully into a cross-legged position facing his Seeker.

'You can stay in there as long as you want to Starscream, no one will come in with you unless you want them to not even me, you're safe I promise,' the older mech murmured, holding the flier's optics.

The Air Commander flinched as lightning struck the wall behind where he was sitting; shooting forwards back towards the berth in the centre of the room, pulling down a blanket to wrap around himself.

They stared at each other silently for a moment, the rain pattering on the roof, before Megatron unsubspaced the vocaliser and leaned forwards to place it carefully in Starscream's area.

Seeing a flicker of curiosity cross the Seeker's faceplates, the tyrant smiled encouragingly as Starscream inched his way forward, wings trailing along the ground as the flier kept himself low. A single digit reached out tentatively to trail along the small complicated piece of metal and a brief, quickly hidden, flash of recognition flickered across the Air Commander's faceplates. In a sudden movement, he snatched the vocaliser off the floor and cradled it to himself before scurrying backwards far out of the Warlord's reach.

Suppressing a grimace, Megatron turned towards the door as his CMO and TIC requested entry. Standing slowly so as not to startle Starscream and being sure to leave the door open, he left the Seeker's sight.

* * *

Starscream held his 'present' possessively to himself, a fine tremor running through his frame, as he tried to piece together what was real and what wasn't in his processor. He was almost certain the encounter with Soundwave had occurred but other things remained hazy in his mind. The vocaliser he recognised as being Hook's work, the medic having constructed it especially for him in secret as a gift just in case Megatron ever allowed him to have the device replaced.

It would allow him to sing again and to speak in his native tongue more easily. So… did that mean other things would also be returned to him?

Did it matter? When he was so tired…?

He could remember ideas just flowing to him when he was younger, some were ridiculous and quickly discarded with a chuckle but others were rare gems of brilliance if he did say so himself. They had won the faction many battles after all, but more so when he was younger and before he'd been promoted. Now when the glimmer of a thought struggled to the fore it was too forced and unnatural to be of any use, something he came up with because his Commander had put him on the spot, and it was always disparaged by the Warlord and the other officers.

Staring down at himself, Starscream cringed violently in self-disgust, optics screwing shut and tanks churning sickeningly. Ventilating harshly, the flier tried desperately not to purge in what he knew to be his Master's personal quarters, not wanting to know what the larger mech would do if he did. Wrapping his stolen blanket securely around himself, the Seeker curled into the side of the berth, making a cocoon for himself, new vocaliser pressed firmly but gently into his chassis.

Steady waves of pain and fear washed over his spark and processor and he clutched at himself, digging his talons into his helm and, after losing his grip on Megatron's gift which was caught safely in the folds of the coverlet, raised his servo to scratch and grasp at his chassis above his spark chamber. Keening softly he jumped when a small servo stroked his faceplate. Forcing one of his optics open, the flier was somehow unsurprised to see Hook standing in front of him.

Automatically uncurling, Starscream allowed the medic, one of the few mechs outside of his trine he trusted, to examine him, the blue light of the scanner flowing carefully and thoroughly up and down his frame as the CMO's engines hummed soothingly. Frame calming, the Seeker's systems wound down, negating the panic attack before it could begin.

A system and cable relaxant painkiller was slipped painlessly into his arm after the Constructicon slowly drew the blanket away, softly pushing it back in position when he was done. 'You're putting too much strain on your systems,' Hook made sure to hold Starscream's optics to be sure he understood, 'take things slowly, try not to force things and… you'll be fine.'

The flier slumped, hearing the hint of a lie or perhaps uncertainty in the medic's otherwise reassuring tone. It was true though that when he stopped trying to make his processor fit together how he knew it should a few little things did seem to fall into what felt like their natural place.

Sighing a little, his ventilations came easier and when Hook smiled at him reassuringly, he mustered a twitch of the lips back.

A few blinks later and the CMO was gone and Starscream could hear quiet voices and what he thought was the mention of his designation a few feet away. Raising his helm weakly he saw three silhouettes in the shadows just on the other side of the threshold.

Worry gnawed steadily at his spark.

Megatron never just gave him anything without wanting something in return, even his compliments were backhanded, and Soundwave's word had never been one to be trusted.

Despite the physical nature of the device it was no small trinket. It meant too much to Starscream surely for Megatron to just hand it over…?

Slumping against the berthside, wishing to be anywhere but in his Commander's quarters to be gawped at, the Seeker's optics slowly shuttered as the relaxant took full effect.

He didn't fall back into recharge but his frame, regardless of the nature of his thoughts, didn't tense.

His memories flickered as they shuffled around in his processor trying to settle, listening to the almost hypnotic rainfall on the roof and the rhythmic tapping of hailstones against the balcony door. If not for the jarring bangs of thunder and lightning the melody created would be soothing.

Starscream was sure the flashes of colour against the sky would be stunning, something the artists of Vos would have taken delight in recreating in a myriad of styles, like Megatron in so many ways. Beautiful, powerful, deadly, destructive, uncaring, cruel…

Cold. Sparkless.

A barely there hiss of pain briefly drew his attention and he cocked his helm. When nothing followed and the hushed conversation continued, Starscream pulled the blanket tighter around himself, beginning to feel a stirring in his tanks but only now realising he had nothing to purge to satisfy the feeling.

Sighing, pushing back painful memories as hard as he could, the flier focussed his gaze on a speck of dull purple on the otherwise completely silver wall, a spot of his own dried energon stained into and marring the perfection of the rest of the metal.

_You're a glitch! A taint to the honour of our cause!_

Sniffling, drops of optic fluid trickled slowly down his faceplates and Starscream sank his denta into the blanket to try to keep himself silent.

* * *

Hook rubbed his helm with a barely-audible moan, thankful that his leader had his back to him.

**Thoughts: inappropriate. **Soundwave reprimanded sternly when Hook accepted his comm. The group had moved away from the berthroom doorway and, while the TIC and CMO stood nearest it, Megatron had crossed the room to stand nearer his map of Cybertron.

Biting back a sarcastic reply, the medic mumbled an apology over the line and tried to shrug off the punishment. He had only been thinking it was times like these he missed his mentor. Though many thought he and Ratchet to be of a similar age that wasn't quite true, there being at least a vorn between them, and the Autobot medic had been his tutor at the medical academy. The older mech would know what to do in a situation like this; he was so much more empathic and could always help the mentally and emotionally injured better than Hook ever could.

Once, the Constructicon thought himself in love with the Hatchet, but that was vorns ago and he knew the CMO of the opposite faction had a new favourite. Fragging First Aid, such a perfect little apprentice, such a-

A sharper pain burst through his helm than before dragging a louder hiss of pain from him and, for a moment, the medic blacked out on his pedes. Exhausted, Hook's optics glazed over and he blinked violently to clear his vision.

'What do you say then both of you?' The tyrant turned to look at them, 'what should I do about him?'

Soundwave motioned for the green and purple mech to speak first and Hook sighed inwardly, knowing the Warlord hated replies like the one he was about to offer but he having none other to give. 'I believe all we can do My Lord is to make sure he's cared for and treated well and then… wait and see.'

Megatron nodded slowly then turned to his third who nodded in agreement with the mech beside him. Sighing loudly through his vents the tyrant flicked his servo indicating for them to leave, telling the CMO to be prepared for Starscream's surgery hopefully the following orn.

Hook and Soundwave soon parted ways, the TIC heading for his office and the medic back to his medbay. As the Constructicon entered, intending to check on the patients still filling up the berths and hooked up to various pieces of equipment, he let out a surprised shout as strong arms grabbed him from behind and lifted him clear off the ground. He was lowered, loudly protesting his treatment, onto a spare berth.

Knock Out appeared in front of him brandishing a syringe like a weapon, smirking down at his teacher.

Staring at it, the CMO relaxed resignedly and with some relief back against the soft metal, knowing he couldn't break Breakdown's grip which was on the brink of denting the armour on both his shoulders. Twisting his arm to bear a good energon line to his apprentice he allowed his optics to close as it slid in moments later, feeling Knock Out caressing his arms and the younger medic's bondmate loosen his grip as he slipped under.

Both mechs allowed themselves an appreciative look and pressed their lip components against those of the peacefully recharging medic. Gently lifting Hook up, the most junior medic carried the head of their section to his and his mate's shared quarters.

Knock Out set about temporarily taking over Hook's duties, beginning to check the patients he and his lover had conspired to stop their superior from examining wincing as the storm outside jolted things around and disturbed some of the electrical equipment.

As he worked with a scalpel on a mech's arm thunder shook the foundations of the almost aerial base and his servo slipped, scoring his paintwork. Snarling viciously, the cherry-red mech snapped his tool and tossed them across the room into the incinerator.

After a few kliks he calmed himself down, comforting himself with the notion that Breakdown would repair him, and got on with his work.

This was to make Hook proud of them after all, regardless of Knock Out and the senior medic's little spat earlier, to perhaps start seeing them as more than just subordinates, he couldn't afford to risk messing it up again not even over his paintjob.

* * *

Soundwave paused outside his office, servo on the door, before turning and heading back along the corridor he had come. Not only were his symbiotes upset but his bondmate was trapped in the cycloptic mech's laboratory, a bolt of lightning having struck the side of the workshop and disrupted the internal electronics, sealing the only door in and out shut.

Missing his partner, the telepath returned to rest of his family to check and reassure himself that Ravage and Laserbeak were coping looking after the younger ones alone.

He would return to his responsibilities straight after; his family came first after all.

Megatron paced in his living room like a lion in a cage, four steps to one side then four back again, optics locked on his open berthroom door.

_Wait and see…_

Was that truly all he could do?

No. He could carry on with his plans to try and restore Starscream to what he was before. Having a properly working vocaliser would bring the Seeker some pleasure wouldn't it? And his colours back…

_It won't be enough you know, _Optimus whispered snidely, _two nice actions do not make up for two solar cycles of abuse._

_I know it doesn't! _The tyrant snapped, baring his denta, _but it's a start isn't it?_

_Do you not think he's owed an apology? _His brother's voice almost sounded normal.

_Yes! But what good would it do? Actions speak louder than words do they not? _Megatron tried to dismiss the question.

_Are you sure they do with Starscream? _Optimus asked softly.

_It's a statement true of everyone, _Megatron growled, pausing in his movements. Then, less sure of himself, _isn't it?_

There was no answer and the tyrant slid into his chair, resting his forehelm in his servo. He stayed that way for a cycle unable to motivate himself into moving when a quiet clicking sound reached his audios.

Looking up, Starscream's optics briefly met his before the Seeker took half a step backwards so he was mostly out of sight and averted his gaze, servos wrapped tightly around the brown-gold doorframe. Megatron slowly rose, not wanting to startle the flier, and stepped towards his second.

The Air Commander's frame shrunk into itself as it always did when his leader approached him, especially when Starscream wasn't sure of his leader's mood. Deep down the Seeker knew the reaction was ridiculous, even standing at rigid attention he barely came to half the tyrant's height…

Freezing, Megatron reached out a servo to lay over one of his Seeker's, one digit stroking the delicate metal gently. 'Starscream…'

The flier jumped, the startled movement travelling up the Warlord's arm.

'It's alright Starscream; nothing bad is going to happen…' Megatron trailed off, the concept of giving comfort completely foreign to him now. He tried to grasp on to his old self, the one that would easily have stopped Optimus crying when his younger brother fell over.

The Seeker watched him unblinkingly, most of his processor dedicating itself to working out if the tyrant was still angry with him or not; Megatron had been known to hide his true emotions many times after all.

Keeping the single point of touch light and non-threatening, the older mech watched the confusion and the insecurity swirl around Starscream's unnaturally coloured optics.

Why had he sent the others away? He had no idea what he was doing…

Lightning struck the roof and the lighting shut off, plunging the room and both mechs into complete darkness. The Seeker let out a half-scream half-mewl of distress and Megatron pulled him forward to hold him carefully, shushing his second softly, beginning to rock the smaller mech on the balls of his pedes. Whispering reassuring nonsense, finding it a bit easier now that he couldn't see the smaller mech and the product of his mistake, the Decepticon Lord ran his servos up and down the younger mech's wings to try and calm their trembling.

They stayed that way until the lighting shuddered back on and Starscream instantly began to struggle now the illusion of care offered in the shadows had been shattered.

It was still Megatron; this was still one of his sadistic games. But the temporary darkness had allowed the flier to hide from that for a while.

Sighing, a burst of hot air warming Starscream's rapidly cooling frame, Megatron let his Seeker go and stepped backwards allowing the flier to go back into his constructed haven.

The Warlord fumbled for a klik then lit on something that may get the Seeker talking again. 'You… may have your vocaliser replaced tomorrow if you wish. Then… back to your own quarters…?'

Starscream's optics sparkled for a moment. Being able to speak again and freedom of a sort sent a bolt of hope through his spark. He was not to be confined here then? He could go back to his own berth and, most importantly, he could be alone.

Spending too much time with Megatron, especially with no one else there to divert the larger mech's attention, was dangerous. It gave him more opportunities for mistakes.

Starscream watched, some of his apprehension fading, as the tyrant turned and walked across the room. Turning back into his leader's quarters, he sat at the foot of the berth to wait for the following orn, aching to get away as soon as possible.

Down in a lower area of the base, Starscream's Seekers wept bitterly with the storm.

* * *

The next orn found Starscream unmoved from where he had spent the night cycle. He had recharged sitting up, waiting patiently and not allowing excitement to run through his energon lines until he was sure Megatron was truly going to let him leave.

Hook arrived not a cycle after the first sunrise, though no Cybertronian could see the massive ball of energy and light, to collect him. Megatron stayed with the map between himself and them as they left, easily noting the relief dancing through his Air Commander's frame.

However, this emotion was short lived in the flier as he and the medic passed some of the other mechs in the army. His spark twisted as they brushed by him, respect for personal space not in abundance in the Decepticons. Easing his frame closer to the CMO's, Starscream tried to ignore the fear steadily building in his spark.

He knew he wasn't one of the stronger mechs in the faction but he compensated that by being fast and agile, using his processor against his opponent's brawn.

But now with his most important assets all but impotent he was left feeling more vulnerable than ever.

Entering the medbay a nerve-wracking ten kliks later, Starscream would have relaxed if Breakdown hadn't smirked at him. Seeing the larger mech in a pose so similar to Megatron's made him shudder. Instantly Knock Out's bondmate assumed a more friendly stance, trying to convey to the Seeker that he had been attempting to be friendly, not wanting Hook to be disappointed in him.

Knock Out would definitely not be pleased.

The crimson mech himself stepped out from the back offices and offered Starscream one of his special smiles, one that was normally only bestowed on Breakdown or occasionally Hook. His faceplates and optics glowed with it until the senior medic had slipped a sedative into the flier's energon lines.

Before going to get the SIC the Constructicon had double checked that all the remaining mechs still under their care were stable. Besides, though certainly a delicate operation, it was normally barring rare complications a quick one with a swift recovery time. It would allow Starscream to return to his own quarters within a cycle of completion.

Knock Out came forward more to observe than to offer support, Hook more than capable of carrying out the procedure entirely alone.

A cycle and a half later, the CMO stepped back and dusted his servos off, silently walking away to splash liquid on his faceplates and stretch out his aching limbs.

He didn't notice the two sets of optics locked hungrily onto his frame and when he turned back his two junior medics were cleaning his tools for him diligently.

Leaving them to it, he went into his private office to write up his next report for the ever lengthening file on the Decepticon second-in-command.

* * *

He could hear their distressed keening a mere klik after leaving the medbay.

Starscream didn't immediately go to his quarters to Hook's chagrin. He had intended to, wishing for nothing else than to be alone until he felt more himself and in control of his erratic emotions, but the need to look after his fliers won out over his own needs though he would never admit it.

The Seekers knew he valued them anyway if not necessarily above himself. He made sure they were given the praise when he trained and flew with them that he was constantly denied and, until Megatron had forbidden it, tried to give each trine some individual attention as often as he could.

They were _his _fliers and he had a duty of care to each and every one of them.

He was more than aware that he would lose some of them but he tried his best to ensure that most of them returned home when they went out on missions.

More than anything, he saw to it that none of them were ever denied the sky unless absolutely necessary.

Walking down the corridor with Knock Out and Hook flanking him and Breakdown bringing up the rear, he approached the Seeker's area of the base. Anxiety built up within him at the idea of being in an enclosed space with so many other mechs but he tried to rein it in by repeating one of his most treasured beliefs to himself.

_My wingbrothers would never harm me._

Approaching the door, he paused and took a moment to compose himself. It wasn't just the first time he had spoken with his new vocaliser, and that was going to sound strange by itself, it was the first time he had spoken aloud since…

A violent shiver wracked his frame. Hundreds of mechs in such a small space, _trapping him…_

_My wingbrothers would never harm me._

Taking a deep ventilation, he almost jumped when each medic laid a supportive servo on him. Two on his wings, one each from Hook and the far vainer medic, and one far larger one on his back representing Breakdown. When the larger mech hadn't harmed or touched him when he awoke from his operation, the apprentice medic being the first mech he saw when his optics fluttered open, Starscream had relaxed around him enough to feel comfortable walking with him as long as the other two were there.

Raising his fist he pounded on the door and pinged all of his flier's comm links, apart from the ones resting in the medbay. For a moment all sounds but the storm outside ceased before there was a rustling and several crashes from inside.

The door opened to reveal Sunstorm and several other Seekers to their Air Commander. They chittered at him apologetically and he indicated with his servo for them to go back inside. As he followed them in, he could feel their comm lines opening up to him and he began to speak through that medium to make sure he was heard.

**I know it is hard but you are strong Decepticon warriors, I need you all to live up to that title as you always have done. The storm will not last forever and we will all fly again. Have you forgotten procedure of how to deal with these times? Spark bond among your trines and ensure the youngest are looked after. I know I have not been here but… it has been unavoidable. Now, you all need to do as I tell you and everything will be fine.**

His voice served to calm the Seekers somewhat and they listened in avid silence, sitting on the floor and looking at him to show they were paying attention.

**I… I cannot stay as I have an operation to recover from. Can I rely on you all to uphold our reputation from now on?**

This was easier than he thought it would be, using the comms meant he could stay slightly away from them and so did not feel overwhelmed or overly pressured. They all nodded but a few servos went up both from the younger section and the older ones.

**Yes?**

'Are you alright Air Commander?' It was the Seeker Starscream had rescued from the rain, his armour replaced in a gleaming blue, clearly Knock Out's work.

'He's fine,' Hook answered for the SIC, Starscream having extended the link to him as well, 'he just needs rest.'

The Decepticon Seekers seemed to accept this and the Air Commander went to leave before a number of pings were sent to his closing comm line and he paused, turning back to face them.

**Air Commander, **surprisingly it was Acid Storm who spoke apparently on behalf of all, a mech renowned for staying off everyone's radar but still one of the most senior Seekers on the base because of his service to Shockwave and his specialised skills (ironically as the storm was not created by him he could not end it and neither could his trine). **We, any of us, would invite you to share in a bond if we were permitted to.**

Starscream stared at them for a moment, his spark and processor healing marginally at the carefully masked affection he could see in all their faceplates. Nodding to them in thanks, he exited with the CMO and Hook's apprentices following him.

The medics dropped him off at his quarters and he locked the door behind him securely before racing into his washracks, the only thing he had wanted besides his privacy when he had woken up in the Decepticon Lord's private chambers, blasting the liquid on full force to try and get the feel of everyone else's servos off him.

Just wanting to feel clean he scrubbed himself raw until his quarters were full of the sound of his sobs.

He didn't know Megatron was watching him through his secret cameras in the tyrant's personal quarters, nor that the Warlord's spark clenched painfully while he was chided by the voice in his helm as Starscream slid down the wall to curl into a ball directly under the showerhead, shaking uncontrollably.

Out on Megatron's balcony the rain finally ate through the last of the Decepticon Lord's throne.

* * *

_Hope you enjoyed and please review._


	5. Embers

_Author's Note- Hiya here it is and this chapter is posted in full._

_Hello this is my first fic of this dark a nature so I would ask that you read the warnings carefully before reading and no flamers please. It's AU so you can imagine it however you want. _

_This story was partially inspired by Kami Count D's 'Crime and Punishment' fic and I would recommend you all to read it if you have not already (also if you like Starscream/Ironhide as a pairing 'Crime and Punishment's' companion fic 'The Enemy You Know' is also a very enjoyable read)._

_Unbetaed._

_Disclaimer- I do not own Transformers or its characters._

_Warnings (full uncensored version on archiveofourown- see link on my profile)- Rated MA. Non-con/graphic rape, violence, perhaps some slight gore and mutilation near/at the beginning, there may be consensual slash in later chapters, Transformer swearing, angst, depression, death, trauma, mentions of masturbation._

_Warnings for this chapter- Transformer swearing, violence, mind-games/humiliation, depression, trauma, hints at past rape (not described). _

_Units of Time:-_  
_Astrosecond- 1 second_  
_Klik- 1 minute_  
_Cycle- 1 hour_  
_Orn- 1 day_  
_Decacycle- 1 week_  
_Meta-cycle- 1 month_  
_Solar cycle- 1 year_  
_Vorn- 1 million years_

_Italics- Flashbacks/thoughts/memories/link speak._

_Bold- Comm speak._

_Recognisable lines are borrowed/paraphrased from the 2007-2011 movies, accompanying games and other Transformers media._

_I hope you enjoy the chapter and please review._

* * *

Chapter Five- Embers 

Knock Out smirked, tins of specialist paint safely stored in his subspace as he walked down the near deserted corridors, most mechs hiding in their berthrooms for fear of being kidnapped and drained of their life-oil as severe rationing loomed.

The storm seemed to be picking up pace rather than settling down, the wind appearing determined to rip the base from its foundations as rain tried to sear through the walls.

Still, that didn't mean that paintjobs had to be neglected, and Starscream's frame had been begging for attention for meta-cycles. Not through any fault of his own of course but it would be nice to see his old friend, one of the few mechs he had any affection for, look a bit more like himself.

As the strawberry red mech strode fearlessly towards the Seeker's quarters, knowing no one would be foolish enough _yet _to attack one of the very few medics on base, his grin faltered slightly. He realised, leaning against the wall opposite the SIC's door, that he wasn't quite sure how he was going to address Starscream.

The old brand of casual flirting seemed out even though the Air Commander had seemed fairly relaxed around his 'doctor' during the brief time they had spent together; and Knock Out would be the first mech Starscream spent any time properly alone with apart from…

_Megatron._

Not for the first time the medic found himself sincerely worried about the sanity of his leader as he knew the CMO did quite often, causing genuine fear in both mechs as to the future of them all.

He remembered vividly another time he had visited Starscream with paint and medical supplies, the last time he'd entered the flier's quarters. On entering he had found the Seeker, faceplates down, trembling on his berth as energon pooled beneath him and stained the coverlet a royal shade of purple. Knock Out had settled beside Starscream and taken out a rag, quickly realising that he may not be able to complete the task alone and calling for Breakdown in their link.

As they had waited together, the medic mopping up his patient as best he could on his own, the vain mech had tentatively asked why their Lord had caused such damage.

Without a hint of a lie in his tone nor posture, the blank-opticked mech had answered that Megatron had offered him a cube of energon to wash the taste of the gunk on the tyrant's pedes out of his mouth and, when the SIC had tried to thank him, the Warlord had struck him across the faceplates for speaking without permission. While the smaller mech had been disorientated from the blow, Megatron had lashed him to a chair then taken the armour off his back and wings with an electro-whip.

Apparently, afterwards, the Decepticon Commander had shown some genuine gentleness towards his second, only serving to confuse Starscream even further. He'd lifted the flier up, by the waste not the Seeker's wings and without digging his claws in, and held the flier on his feet until Starscream's legs had stopped shivering enough to allow him to stand on his own without falling over.

It was a processor-game naturally.

Knock Out had been through more than his fair share of those with their Commander to know how easily Megatron could worm his way inside your mind and spark, and the untold damage he could do while there. Hook though, to his credit, shielded his subordinates from it as much as he was able.

Shaking himself, the medic leaned forward and pressed the intercom button, smiling when it beeped in reply to his digit to say his entry request had gone through. They had lost some of the medical equipment down in the med-bay as the back-up power generator kept faltering and the electricity cut out sporadically leaving some apparatus all but unusable.

He waited for a few kliks but no one answered, not even to acknowledge him, and so he tried again. This time Knock Out waited ten kliks before using his medical override to force the door open. Slipping slowly inside, he glanced cautiously around noticing with a flicker of anxiety through his spark that Starscream was not in his living area or in his berthroom.

It was then the cherry red mech realised that what he had mistaken for the perpetual rainfall was actually the cleanser running, the door ajar and a weak light shone through the gap leaving a thin line of soft yellow on the grey metallic floor.

Stepping into it, Knock Out froze at the small figure cowering in the back of the wash-racks, shaking violently.

Crossing the room, allowing the cleanser to freely flow over his metal, the automobile crouched in front of the Seeker and reached out a servo to place it, barely there, on Starscream's shoulder armour. The flier's helm shot up, optics alight with fear, before he settled on seeing who it was.

The Air Commander curled into the crimson mech's touch and gave a stuttering sigh, engines juddering like they were forcing themselves not to stall.

The medic's optics darkened for a moment but the angered look was gone a blink later.

Coaxing Starscream to his pedes and reaching past the flier to turn the biting cold cleanser off and walk the flier, step by step, to his berth.

Lowering the winged mech down gently, Knock Out dropped into a chair nearby and took out his tins, placing them with a short clink on Starscream's berthside table. The flier sighed softly and sat up, accompanied by an encouraging grin from the automobile.

Nervously the Seeker watched as the other mech gently lifted his arm and the painter set to work inspecting the metal, caressing it as he refamiliarised himself with the flow of it for when he began with Starscream's whole frame later.

It took mere moments.

'So… you want your old colours back? Or, perhaps, to try something new?' Knock Out opened each can so the Seeker could see the contents of each one clearly.

The Seeker shrugged, optics lowered. He trusted the medic more than most but he didn't relish the idea of anymech laying their servos on him at that astrosecond.

Forced smile falling from his faceplates, the ruby mech closed them up again, and moved to sit on the berth beside the flier leaning into him and resting his helm on Starscream's shoulder; the Seeker tensed at the touch for a klik but then settled, realising that Knock Out was only offering comfort and reassurance the best and possibly only way he knew how.

Like his wingbrothers, the medic had never and, Starscream trusted, would never hurt him.

For a while they sat in silence before the SIC stirred a little, laying his faceplate tentatively on the smaller mech's helm.

Knock Out could feel every word vibrating along his frame as Starscream began to speak, sounding only solar cycles old, 'it'll happen… often now won't it? Like-like my wings?'

The medic's lip components parted to promise it wouldn't then, realising what a foolish statement it would be, kept silent, metallic body drooping.

The Seeker shivered, a dry sob painfully scratching out of his new vocaliser, and slowly slid down Knock Out's side until his helm leaned comfortably on the ruby mech's leg, frame tucked into a tight ball on his berth.

Starscream eventually slipped into recharge with his friend's servo protectively cradling the side and back of his helm.

It was quite possibly, in a cruelly ironic way considering the medic's intentions, Knock Out's presence that triggered Starscream's bad memory flux.

One of the worst orns of his life brought back into reality by his near-perfect memory banks.

* * *

For a long time Starscream had realised that he was used by the others as a convenient being to vent their frustrations on and, as such, even genuine concerns he voiced in meetings were used as an excuse to unload poisonous and vile comments on him. So rather than risk their scorn and a possible beating from his volatile and unfair leader, he remembered what he thought could cause issues and dealt with them accordingly on the field itself.

For a number of missions that method had worked well and, as no one yelled at him for doing so and the faction had been consistently successful, he saw no reason to alter his strategy.

But Starscream hadn't been able to make use of it for that orn as he had done.

Megatron outlined the plan as normal and as he spoke the SIC was pleased to see that there weren't many discernible errors in it, and those that existed he could easily remedy when the time came and so were not, he believed, worth mentioning; until the tyrant _insisted_ that all of their forces be focussed on the advance which would leave them all completely unprotected from behind if any Autobot reinforcements turned up.

Starscream raised his servo tentatively having not truly contributed anything to the officer's discussions for several decacycles and began to speak.

The tyrant grabbed the smaller appendage and snapped it back, snarling at his second to be silent.

They reached the designated battlefield, still an innocuous meadow a mile outside the Autobot base, several cycles later and waited for their enemies to come to them.

A few kliks after they arrived the Aerialbots swarmed down from their faction's tower to engage the Seekers moments before the ground army raced out of their front entrance, wrought iron gate slamming shut behind them to face Megatron and the Decepticons standing with him.

Starscream hovered in the clouds as the others, with a roar of their engines, shot through the air to begin combatting the enemy in their trines. He, as ordered, kept his optics carefully on the aerial battlefield looking for the perfect opening. He had to get inside if only for a few kliks to implant a virus into the Autobot's computer network; if it worked it would send the Decepticons the contents of it and, according to Shockwave, was completely untraceable.

Unless someone saw Starscream downloading it into the systems and the information they received was invalidated as the enemy faction enforced their security protocols.

The virus would only survive for a few orns in its original form before mutating then destroying everything it had passed through and throwing the Autobots into disarray, but even if it failed to get to the second stage it would still give the Decepticons a terrific advantage over their adversaries.

If only he could get inside while they were distracted…

Seeing an opening, the Seeker's optics avidly following the flow of air and the other mechs in the skies with him, he began to cut through the air like a blade through a spark. Midway through, however, moments before he would have slipped undetected past the Aerialbots and Seekers, he caught sight of Ironhide creeping up behind the Decepticon Lord, a number of other Autobots just yards behind the red mech.

Changing course he arched in the air, heading back towards Megatron and cursing the others for not noticing such an obvious flaw in their plans. In focussing all their attention on their front they had failed to protect their flank, leaving the grounders wide open to attack.

As he had seen so very clearly would happen as they had all stood over Megatron's map.

Specks appeared in Starscream's optics as he flew and his processor began to spin as his orns without recharge caught up with him. Blinking frantically, he tore past Megatron and barrelled Optimus's weapons specialist to the ground, landing briefly as the stronger mech pulled him down with him before breaking Ironhide's grip and taking off back into the grey-speckled clouds, opening fire on his enemies as he fled to try and complete his mission.

He didn't think that his own leader would shoot him down and so didn't see the blast coming until it was already burning through his side. Falling, rolling over and over again, Starscream struck the ground, dirt forced into the air by the sudden impact to collide softly with the Seeker's frame, streaking as it combined with his energon and the two substances slid down the SIC's metal.

Staring hopelessly at his enraged Lord, Starscream closed his optics tight and whimpered.

A massive pede came crashing down on his helpless wing and the world went black in a burst of agony.

* * *

Starscream jumped up, wide-awake for only a moment before becoming drowsy, as the images continued to play in the back of his processor. Spark racing it took him a moment to register Knock Out's servo gently caressing his wing and, purely out of primal instinct, the Seeker began to purr softly before falling back into recharge, and back into the memory which hadn't been given time to dissipate in his brief time awake.

* * *

When Starscream's optics flickered back online he was in his leader's arms being carried through the air, land whirling by below him in a blur, and no sound of other's engines reaching his audios. Closing his optics to stop himself from purging he burrowed into Megatron's metal, wincing at the sharp growl the action provoked.

They landed ungracefully hard on the Decepticon Lord's balcony and Megatron tore open his office door to throw his Air Commander into the living area of his quarters. Starscream hit the ground with a soft gasp of pain, shuddering.

Ramming Starscream into the ground and placing a pede on his second's back, Megatron began to snarl and bellow like an enraged bull. 'I thought that denying you a voice would serve to teach you your place. Did you think that no one had noticed? Your ill-advised alterations to _my_ plans without my consent? Why should you be listened to when you've made no effort before, when you should have done? I thought that forcing your silence would be enough for you to understand when you should and should not speak, when you should or should not _act._'

Leaning down to hiss in Starscream's audio, the tyrant's chilling tone sent a shiver down the Seeker's back strut. 'But you _will _learn now I'll make sure of it. One way or another.'

Curling his servo around the flier's helm, claws painfully gripping the Air Commander's faceplate, Megatron pushed it roughly down to his filth covered pede, '_lick _them both clean.'

Grimacing as the vile scent reached his nasal passages, Starscream whimpered, submissively stroking the offered appendage with his in comparison tiny servo, 'please Master… please don't make me do this…'

The tyrant took a firm grip on Starscream left wing in answer and the fragile metal began to strain to stay connected to the SIC's back.

'**Choose!**'

Megatron's grasp only relaxed when the Seeker lowered himself the required few centimetres and began to give his Lord's metal small hopeless brushes with his glossa.

He had sometimes asked his servants, back in his luxurious Palace in Vos, to wash his pedes.

But never, _ever, _like this.

For a Seeker, their pedes were second only to their wings and spark where intimate acts were concerned and so for Starscream to ask another mech, _always _a mech, to do this for him it was an offering of closeness of a kind. He did it not to humiliate them but so he could shamelessly admire their beauty and for them to bask in his attention. They were always fully aware of what their Air Commander was doing and enjoyed having their Winglord all to themselves, relishing that he found them truly and honestly attractive.

This was not the same.

Feeling like his spark was dimming in its chamber, Starscream carried on with his tentative licks, throat convulsing as he held back sobs.

Yet something else the Seeker treasured defiled.

'Starscream,' Megatron's voice made his spark flicker but… not how it used to. 'We shall be here all night cycle if we keep going at this pace.' It was marginally gentler than his tone of kliks before but…

It wasn't enough.

Nothing could ever make the void growing inside the flier better. It wasn't just the humiliation or the brief memory of the Autobots sniggering at his fear as they witnessed how he was really treated by his Lord for the first time…

It was the embers of his affection, the love he had thought himself to be in for vorns, finally sputtering out.

Even as Megatron's servos began to gently stroke his wings, after threatening their removal and possible destruction mere moments ago, in silent praise as he forced himself to work faster, giving him the attention he had been aching for, for so long, the emptiness still grew until it overshadowed his very sense of self.

Aggrievedly, he closed his optics and kept going until a servo left his wing to rest on his blackened shoulder armour.

'That's enough Starscream, now the other one.' Megatron purred, engines humming in audible satisfaction.

Lifting himself without opening his optics, the unnaturally grey flier began again.

He had realised some meta-cycles ago that his Master loathed him; perhaps he always had done but just hadn't shown it before. But a small part of him had hoped that Megatron had respected him if only a little, otherwise why would he have the Seeker as his second-in-command?

It didn't make any sense…

Still, now he was damned in the knowledge that, not only did his once-beloved leader revile him, but he was given no value, no worth, by the former gladiator either.

It left little doubt in Starscream's processor that his deactivation would one orn come at Megatron's servo or, if an Autobot got lucky on some nameless battlefield, that the last thing he would hear would be his Commander's mocking laughter.

Eventually, Megatron allowed the flier to sit back, still on his knees. Reaching into his ebony drawers, the tyrant withdrew a sparkling sealed cube of high grade and offered it to a startled Starscream who, after at first flinching away from it, reached up hesitatingly with one trembling servo to take it from his leader's far larger appendage.

'Th-thank-' The punch caught him off-guard sending his helm smacking into the older mech's desk, leaving a few spots of energon where his protective metal had cracked.

'**No **Starscream! For frag's sake you **never **learn do you?' Snatching the cube out of Starscream's violently shaking servos and slamming it into the side of his desk with a deafening smash, he forced the slighter mech off the floor and, dragging him to the other side of the room, Megatron bound his second in a kneeling position by his arms and legs onto a hard iron chair, the bonds digging harshly into the flier's delicate metal. 'I wanted to avoid doing this Starscream, truly I did.'

The SIC bit back whimpers of fright when Megatron took out his electro-whip from his subspace…

Fifteen kliks later, Starscream was sobbing openly into his arm as the tyrant's insults which accompanied every lash branded their way into his spark.

_Useless._

_Feeble._

_Weak._

_Vile._

_Cretin._

_Glitch._

_Worthless._

_Don't you ever __**shut up?**_

_You __**disgust **__me!_

The verbal assault cut even deeper than the physical one as it burned and scorched its way through his armour and protoform. Eventually, an unknown amount of time later, the blows tapered off, becoming less severe before ceasing altogether.

Starscream couldn't move, his spark breaking into two pieces which he could **hear **rolling around, clanking, in its chamber, and simply sobbed.

Megatron came up behind him and deftly undid the reinforced titanium ropes, similar to but stronger and more resilient than chains; and eased Starscream slowly to his pedes, holding the smaller mech lightly as the flier shivered as if encased in ice, waiting patiently for the traumatised Seeker to regain some control of himself.

Once the flier's trembles had weakened sufficiently for him to be reasonably sturdy on his pedes, Megatron let him go with the simple order of going to get some recharge.

_Don't turn around, don't bow, just go clean yourself up and calm yourself down._

Starscream wandered aimlessly out of Megatron's quarters, almost falling down the flight of stairs at the end of the corridor before finally creeping down the barren halls to his dark lonely quarters, swaying into walls as waves of dizziness attacked his sense of balance.

Stumbling haphazardly into his living area, frame shuddering in a keen, the Seeker cried himself sorrowfully into a restless recharge on his berth.

* * *

Starscream's optics fluttered open, halfway into the night cycle, to find with a cringe of embarrassment that his optic fluid was trailing down Knock Out's pristine paintwork.

Just this once though, the medic didn't seem to mind his colours streaking.

In the silence Starscream wondered briefly why Megatron had started to despise him. When had been the tyrant's moment of realisation?

The thought slipped away as easily as it had come and the Seeker's mind slowly went blank, numbing itself.

Then something touched his spark with only the strength of a pin-prick but he managed to latch onto it for a moment and a hurried mostly monosyllabic conversation took place before the connection was lost completely to the distance.

Starscream's lip components twitched in the closest approximation of a smile he could make.

His trine was coming.

As soon as the rain let up, Skywarp and Thundercracker were coming back.

* * *

Megatron sat with Soundwave reading his report on their energon levels, contemplating one particular recommendation.

It was a last resort of course but it was Decepticon policy that when severe rationing came into effect for any reason, non-essential personnel, specifically the weakest mechs on base, would be drained of their life-oil so it could be supplied to others.

Killing his own mechs gave Megatron no joy, but the needs of the many outweighed the needs of the few.

Besides, for the moment it wouldn't be necessary, but the TIC was asking for his permission should it become so.

Nodding his consent, Megatron knowing it would begin to happen anyway should things become desperate and wishing for there to be at least an element of control to it. That way none would be lost that the Warlord couldn't afford to be without.

_Starscream may have to have an escort… _

While in the state the SIC was in, he was ridiculously vulnerable.

_It shouldn't be too hard; Hook wants to keep an optic on him anyway._

Starscream not being fully functional posed its own set of problems.

The Seekers, though they had been given their orders, had no consistent leader. And Megatron was, with Shockwave's temporary confinement, two senior officers down.

Soundwave finished his report and seemed to relax back into his chair but his optics remained averted and, if the Decepticon Lord didn't know any better, he would say his third was uncharacteristically squirming in his seat.

'Lord Megatron: permission to speak requested.' The telepath murmured, barely audible over the pounding rain.

The tyrant gestured with his servo for the TIC to continue, curiosity mounting.

'Soundwave's initial assessment of Starscream: incorrect. Probability that praise would have been more beneficial: 79.6%. Apologies:… offered. Punishment: willingly accepted.' The TIC finished, helm bowing in shame of his miscalculation.

Megatron placed the pad on metallic surface, stood and rounded the table to squeeze his subordinate's shoulder. 'You advised me to discipline him in moderation but I was not controlled enough. The error was not yours old friend.' Bending over he placed a kiss to the top of Soundwave's helm, 'I do believe I'm going to require your help in remedying the situation however.'

The telepath nodded, sighing quietly in relief through his vents. 'Service: forever Megatron's.'

The Warlord smiled as he pulled away but his expression darkened as he turned and went back to his seat. 'Those who advised you… it is even more vital than before that Starscream _never _find out. He trusts them and he'll need them now more than ever.'

Soundwave nodded and began to recite a summary of Hook's report of their injured, beginning with the official list of deactivations.

* * *

Knock Out stirred as the CMO pinged his comm line, responding that he would be back in a couple of kliks. Cradling Starscream's helm in his metallic palm, he lowered it gently to the berth as he stood. Red speckled orange optics stared up at him and the medic smiled reassuringly.

'It'll be alright mein commandant,' the ruby medic stroked the Seeker's faceplate gently before a strange thought came to him. Starscream, he was sure, had never been kissed.

Certainly not by Megatron he would wager or anyone else, not _properly _at least. But… it was still something that the tyrant could tear away from him at any given moment.

Knock Out, looking at the desolate figure on the berth, made a split second decision. He wanted the Seeker to have something that he would never have to fear losing.

Kneeling beside the berth, and cupping the flier's faceplate, he hovered above Starscream for a moment before sweetly brushing their lip components together. Withdrawing from the chaste kiss he whispered warmly into the flier's audio, 'no one, not even the old rust-bucket, can take that away from you.'

Starscream stared up at him wide-opticked before he nodded slowly, orbs dimming to a soothed cerise, and curled up into his normal ball to go back into recharge.

The medic laid a blanket over him and left, careful not to disturb the slumbering Seeker.

* * *

Megatron watched the exchange, though Knock Out spoke so softly to Starscream he couldn't hear what had been said.

A lonely wind whistled passed his door as a moment of aching jealousy washed through his spark.

But he couldn't begrudge the flier something which had so clearly comforted him. He wasn't foolish enough to believe that that would be an end to it; that Starscream would be magically better now, but like everything else thus far it was a beginning.

_But only that, _Optimus whispered and Megatron's helm sank into his servo, _only a beginning._

The cruel voice preceded an increase of the even less merciful rainfall.

* * *

_The virus bit was inspired by the Transformers: Prime episode 'Triage'._

___A poll has been added to my profile about what fics you guys want me to update most often. All will be updated gradually but it would be nice to see what you all would most like to see._

_Thanks for reading and please review._


	6. Interlude Apologies

_Author's Note- Hiya here it is and this chapter is posted in full. It is a brief interlude I decided to write before I went on holiday for you guys._

_Hello this is my first fic of this dark a nature so I would ask that you read the warnings carefully before reading and no flamers please. It's AU so you can imagine it however you want. _

_This story was partially inspired by Kami Count D's 'Crime and Punishment' fic and I would recommend you all to read it if you have not already (also if you like Starscream/Ironhide as a pairing 'Crime and Punishment's' companion fic 'The Enemy You Know' is also a very enjoyable read)._

_Unbetaed._

_Disclaimer- I do not own Transformers or its characters._

_Warnings (full uncensored version on archiveofourown- see link on my profile)- Rated MA. Non-con/graphic rape, violence, perhaps some slight gore and mutilation near/at the beginning, there may be consensual slash in later chapters, Transformer swearing, angst, depression, death, trauma, mentions of masturbation._

_Warnings for this chapter- Transformer swearing, mentions of previous character death (major in the Prime verse), violence, depression, trauma, hints at past rape (not described). _

_Units of Time:-_ _Astrosecond- 1 second_ _Klik- 1 minute_ _Cycle- 1 hour_ _Orn- 1 day_ _Decacycle- 1 week_ _Meta-cycle- 1 month_ _Solar cycle- 1 year_ _Vorn- 1 million years_

_Italics- Flashbacks/thoughts/memories/link speak._

_Bold- Comm speak._

_Recognisable lines are borrowed/paraphrased from the 2007-2011 movies, accompanying games and other Transformers media._

_I hope you enjoy the chapter and please review._

* * *

Interlude- Apologies 

Megatron watched through his security camera, silent apart from the relentless drumming of the rain on his reinforced roof, ruby optics locked onto Starscream's recharging form. It struck him once more that the Seeker, even considering his model type, was so very small. His SIC's frame was dwarfed by his luxurious berth which befit his rank. The tyrant was so used to watching the scientist squeeze onto small berths for inferior officers and, even earlier, servants in shared quarters; and just before he'd stopped monitoring the younger mech, his trine had rested with him and so had hidden their leader's lack of presence; that he had begun to misjudge Starscream's true size.

Nothing of a sexual nature had ever occurred between the three Seekers, though Thundercracker and Skywarp were a bonded couple, Starscream never seemed to look at his trinemates in that particular way.

Even to the most naïve of mechs there was some jealousy and frustration portrayed by the two younger fliers at their leader's absence of interest and the way others looked at him in open admiration and want.

Looking at Starscream brought Dreadwing to the front of his processor, his previous second. The mech lacked Starscream's speed but was far fuller in frame, making up for it in sheer brute strength.

Megatron knew, having barged into his former lieutenant's quarters many times of a night cycle ranting about one issue or another, that Dreadwing had easily dominated that berth, there being nothing small or delicate about him with only the exception, perhaps, of his wings as they were with any Seeker.

_Forgive me my old friend, I didn't intend to destroy you, _he spoke to his lost SIC, something he had done regularly since Dreadwing's funeral_. _The only small consolation Megatron had was that he had reunited the Seeker with his much missed split spark twin Skyquake in the Well, and there was a chance his loyal long-suffering servant was finally at peace with himself.

The tyrant watched Starscream sniffle in recharge, the slighter mech's frame shuddering fearfully.

Even if Megatron had been in the room with his second, he knew there was nothing he could do to help the scientist. There was any number of things, even if the rape was not considered, that Starscream could be remembering in his recharge. Pit, it could even be a long ago memory of some otherwise forgotten battlefield in which he'd seen something particularly horrific, or lost someone he deemed a friend.

The trembling Seeker pulled his covers close and buried his faceplates in the corner of the purple material.

_Starscream…_

Leaning back in his chair, Megatron hesitated then snapped it back, sending it shrieking across his pristine floor, and wandered out of his grand entrance arguing with himself and his brother's snarling voice.

_I'm not going to wake him; I'm just going to check on him._

_What if he wakes up and finds you there? _Optimus's tone dripped venom. _What will you do then? Knock him back unconscious?_

_I'm not going to hurt him! _Megatron insisted; _if he wakes I will leave._

_Yes, leave him absolutely __**terrified **__you idiot! _

_I… will call for Hook and Knock Out… _The Warlord trailed off as he reached the flier's corridor.

_Two extremely busy medics who have managed to soothe the flier far more than you did when he was trapped with you, and will not thank you for disturbing him further. _Optimus pointed out smugly.

_I have no intention of disturbing him…_

_You just want to __**see **__him don't you? You still want him-_

_Shut up! _The Decepticon Lord finally snapped._ Only a fool would not want Starscream, it doesn't mean I'm going to try and take him._

_That's why you forbade the others from paying attention to him, whether he was flying or writhing in agony on the ground. _His brother spoke unnaturally softly, _you knew you couldn't have him once you had struck him and so you wanted him to be ignored, forgotten by those who would desire him._

Megatron paused, taking Knock Out's place outside the Seeker's door. A flash crossed his processor of Starscream, freshly waxed and painted, presenting himself as Megatron's new second the morning after the flier's promotion party.

It was the last time Starscream looked completely himself. His aura oozed confidence and silent pride and, when the Cybertronian sunlight reflected off his armour, he appeared like an angel, regal and beautiful.

Megatron had savoured the sight as Starscream dropped into a graceful kneel, one knee resting lightly on the ground as the other pointed upwards. The Seeker laid one gleaming blue servo on his raised knee while the other arm snapped to attention to his side, wings lowering in a sign of respect to fall firmly against his rigid back.

There had been no sign in the flier's form that he had been overenergised not a couple of cycles beforehand.

Megatron's smile at the thought did not last long.

Fist clenching as it had then on his balcony railing, the tyrant grimaced. He had had a choice then, to either seduce the Seeker or-

A low sigh expired through his vents. In any case he had made the wrong one.

Placing his servo formally on his new second's shoulder, Starscream had taken his cue to look up at his leader. It had only been a light slap but it had been more than enough to send the SIC's helm flying to one side, shock and hurt filling the scientist's expression as he'd tentatively looked back at the taller mech.

Megatron had raised his fist and Starscream automatically flinched away from him, fear flickering across his faceplates in anticipation of a harder blow. Disgust had passed across the tyrant's features then, the gladiator side catching onto his new second's weakness while a new part of him personified by Optimus's voice was created leading to disgust in himself for attacking the more vulnerable being unprovoked.

He'd battled it all down and encouraged the Seeker to stand, the rest of the meeting passing more pleasantly, if a bit tensely, as they'd discussed faction matters while looking out over the despoiled land.

_I suppose a Seeker such as yourself would find a view of the sky like this mesmerising._

_It does call to me I admit Master._

The sky had been a vivid collage of colours, dawn approaching, and its magnificence had clearly been tantalising to Starscream, his optics glimmering as he drank it in, hurt temporarily forgotten.

He could have kissed the Seeker then, and he _should _have done.

Pushing himself off the wall, Megatron overrode the flier's codes and stole into his Air Commander's living area cum berthroom.

The blanket lay sprawled on the floor as Starscream twisted and struggled on his berth, his talons tearing through the soft metallic mattress in his distress and panic. Lurching forward to kneel beside the cot, he slid his arms beneath the ever-moving flier and cradled the younger mech to his chassis. 'Hush, Starscream, hush.' He crooned into the slighter mech's audio, 'no one is angry with you, shh, you're safe. I am… so very proud of you.'

Starscream gradually stilled in his arms, relaxing as his bad memory was altered in his remembrance, the deeply-recharging flier nuzzled Megatron's chassis as he calmed.

Dropping a kiss on the top of his second's helm, the tyrant carried on speaking even though for the moment Starscream was peaceful.

'You did well, Starscream, so well. My lovely clever little Seeker. My wonderful talented second…'

_I'm sorry._

* * *

___Thanks for reading and please review._


	7. Forces of Nature

_Author's Note- Hi this chapter is posted in its entirety._

_Special thanks to Starlove, Decepticon Skywhip, The-writing-Mew, fan girl 666, Kitt SummerIsle, Iwanita, poisonouswaffle'n-stuffs, Guest, Chibi Oro, NightXIV, Mavis, LittleLadyLokiStark and silveryn83 for your reviews and comments.  
_

_Hello this is my first fic of this dark a nature so I would ask that you read the warnings carefully before reading and no flamers please. It's AU so you can imagine it however you want. _

_This story was partially inspired by Kami Count D's 'Crime and Punishment' fic and I would recommend you all to read it if you have not already (also if you like Starscream/Ironhide as a pairing 'Crime and Punishment's' companion fic 'The Enemy You Know' is also a very enjoyable read)._

_Unbetaed._

_Disclaimer- I do not own Transformers or its characters._

_Warnings (full uncensored version on archiveofourown- see link on my profile)- Rated MA. Non-con/graphic rape, violence, perhaps some slight gore and mutilation near/at the beginning, there may be consensual slash in later chapters, Transformer swearing, angst, depression, death, trauma, mentions of masturbation._

_Warnings for this chapter- Transformer swearing, mentions of previous character death (major in the Prime verse), violence, depression, trauma, hints at past rape (not described). _

_Units of Time:-_ _Astrosecond- 1 second_ _Klik- 1 minute_ _Cycle- 1 hour_ _Orn- 1 day_ _Decacycle- 1 week_ _Meta-cycle- 1 month_ _Solar cycle- 1 year_ _Vorn- 1 million years_

_Italics- Flashbacks/thoughts/memories/link speak._

_Bold- Comm speak._

_Recognisable lines are borrowed/paraphrased from the 2007-2011 movies, accompanying games and other Transformers media._

_I hope you enjoy the chapter and please review._

* * *

Chapter Seven- Forces of Nature

Starscream's optics fluttered open as he curled deeper into his blanket. For a precious few moments his mind was completely blank, bathed in the warmth of the coverlet and the rare comfort of coming out of recharge without injury. His internals gave a beep and an orange light came up behind his optics letting him know that his new vocaliser was assimilating properly with his systems.

_New… Vocaliser…?_

The Seeker buried his faceplates in his servos, a circuit-deep tiredness almost calling him back into his welcoming berth.

No… If he went back into recharge now he might never motivate himself out of it. Sitting up, he stretched his frame out, his wings flicking out in a circular motion before bending to point up at the ceiling. A brief sense of satisfaction ran through him as his joints clicked then relaxed.

Now, what to do?

His optics flicked around his quarters before pulling himself to his pedes and padding across the room to settle at his desk, pulling a datapad to him and beginning single-mindedly to write.

* * *

Megatron watched his second sit up on his berth, the flier's thin but none the less strong legs dangling off the edge as Starscream pushed himself over to sit properly on the side of his berth and his pedes met the floor with a just audible clink. The Seeker's servos came together to play with each other in a terribly familiar gesture of nervousness and anxiety that he was sure Starscream was completely unaware of doing.

He had forced himself to leave the Seeker's quarters half a cycle beforehand, worried that Starscream would wake up and panic at his presence, but still only after making sure that his second was comfortable and warm.

The tyrant stood, turning from the screen and gave it an internal order to switch itself off. Crossing to his map aimlessly, his optics flickered to the piece of fabric at Starscream's station. The green silk-like thick material allowed mechs to rest their arms and servos on it comfortably for long periods of time while they observed the map.

His second was known to often pick at and fiddle with it during meetings, gaze focussed solely upon it as Starscream gave up even looking at the map when plans were being constructed.

Megatron ran his servos along it, finding with some surprise that the material was scratchy and irritated his metallic palm, smoothing it out only for the edges to curl back up towards him. He had always wondered what Starscream was thinking when his blood-red orbs traced the barely visible linings and variations that the flier himself had made in the material.

His own ruby-red optics lit up at one little memory he had of Starscream that was actually fairly recent.

The meeting after they had failed to implant the virus in the Autobot's systems, though they had won the skirmish due to Starscream's early warning that Ironhide had a team that was about to attack their flank. It wasn't that Megatron hadn't thought of the possibility, it had just been hoped they would have long gone before their enemies had collected themselves enough to mount a proper defence.

And the Autobots hadn't, not truly.

The Commander had gone to the mini-party his subordinates had thrown that night cycle for the half-victory they had achieved.

Of course Starscream had not been there, had no doubt spent a lonely painful night cycle in his quarters listening to the glee of his comrades mere floors away from him…

The Seeker had come to the meeting though, a decacycle after the fact, repaired and now completely silent when he had only been quiet before. It was quite easy to entirely forget he was there as if he had become invisible like those wretched Autobot spies with their cloaks.

Throughout the discussion, Megatron had argued with himself over what to do about his second, either to let him go with the others or to order him to stay behind so they could talk. When eventually the others began to leave each with their individual tasks to complete or to delegate, the tyrant made a snap decision and reached out to lightly grasp his second's servo as he turned towards the door. Frightened optics looked up to meet his before dropping to one side in resignation.

Holding the smaller appendage as the movements of the others suddenly became hurried; the room emptying in moments, Megatron gave it a gentle squeeze and released it, silently relishing the brief touch.

It was one of the reasons, though he would not realise it until he looked back on his treatment of his Air Commander, that his punishments of Starscream had escalated in severity and duration. Though only a single part of him, his gladiator programming, enjoyed the pain his second suffered, his whole self agreed that having his Seeker entirely to himself; knowing that all that Starscream was feeling, experiencing and thinking was under his control and caused by him, gave him a heady sense of power and satisfaction.

It was a sensation more addictive than he would ever have thought anything could be.

Guiding Starscream, switching places with him so that the Seeker stood at the head of the map, Megatron moved away slightly and asked if Starscream had anything he needed to contribute to the plans _before _they left base the following orn.

The flier's form hunched itself over the edge of the map, talons running together in uneasiness, before he finally spoke, quietly and timidly. 'I'll do as I'm told Master… I know any alterations I would make wouldn't matter.'

_I know my opinions don't matter. _Megatron could almost hear what Starscream was leaving unvoiced but was no doubt going through the smaller mech's processor as he clearly tried to pass what he thought was a test from his leader.

_I've learnt my lesson; see Master, do you see? I promise I have My Lord…_

Taking the flier's servos in each of his own, Megatron rubbed them both soothingly, tried to still the Seeker's subtle trembling. 'Starscream… they matter when I say they do and I am saying it now. Tell me what you think.'

Gradually the flier tentatively came out of his shell. Not having to worry about the reactions of the others allowed him to think more clearly and he slowly began to circle the map then glanced up to look at the projection on the wall of the area they were attacking.

Megatron listened, nodding occasionally, as the Seeker spoke and worked out a better method than previously agreed on for their air-force to begin their part in the assault. When however Starscream, his slight excitement thrumming through his frame, began to speak of the grounders as well, the Warlord stepped up behind Starscream to wrap his arm around his flier's helm to cover his mouth with one large servo.

'No, Starscream, no.'

The brief happiness instantly fled his second's frame, as it tensed and began to tremble violently, wings flicking in panic. As Megatron felt optic fluid born of fear drip onto his appendage, he realised even then that his choice of words had been inappropriate. Turning Starscream to face him, he brushed away the liquid and smiled at the Seeker reassuringly.

'Shh Starscream, calm yourself, we are only talking there is nothing to be afraid of.' The words came out a bit stilted and would have, Megatron was sure, had a swifter effect if only he had softened his tone more.

Before the Seeker had left, the tyrant stopped him once more, this time by placing a hand on the small of the flier's back. Simply pressing the initially promised cube of high grade into Starscream's constantly moving servos as a peace-offering of sorts and then finally allowing his Air Commander to leave.

It was then that one of Megatron's fondest memories of Starscream took place.

As he watched on his hidden cameras, the Seeker sat down on his berth and curiously took the protective covering off the cube to stare at the cloudy yellow liquid. His optics alighting in interest at the unusual state of the energon as most versions of the life-giving substance, though certainly existing in a rainbow of different colours, was normally clear; to the point of being completely see-through in some cases.

The flier sniffed lightly at it then took a tentative sip.

Megatron smiled as he watched, glad that Starscream had not simply taken a gulp of it as it was from his own, now little-used, private stock and extremely potent. The flier placed the cube with only some care on the top of his berthside desk and flopped backwards onto the soft metal, beginning to giggle contentedly as the energon tickled its way warmly through his fuel lines.

He watched, affection in his optics, as his second chuckled himself into a peaceful, restful recharge.

Megatron looked away from his second's station and sighed in self-reprimand. Even up until so very recently there had been a glimmer of the old Starscream in existence.

Whether there was now had yet to be seen.

He should have been more persistent in preserving it, should not have become obsessed even subconsciously with breaking it down beyond visibility. If only so Starscream's subordinates maintained the necessary respect for him that was needed for the army to function correctly.

The raid had failed, not due to the air force, but Megatron had made it more than clear who be blamed for the loss, both to Starscream and the other officers.

Sighing loudly through his vents, sending a burst of angry air out of them, Megatron paced briefly around his quarters feeling more and more like a caged animal.

Finally he strode from his living area out into the long corridor, pedes leading him almost on autopilot to speak with Hook and, quite possibly, Knock Out.

* * *

Hook stared around his med-bay from his desk for a klik, at the state of the few patients that remained, mentally reminding himself who would need to be checked on in their quarters and that Megatron (Primus knew what he had done with the other one) needed a new desk.

He'd have to contact Scrapper, get him and the others to help him design one… Maybe arrange for them to come back for a while to help him build it if they didn't do so for him.

He assumed Megatron had given tacit consent for the medic to communicate with his family as he hadn't objected before when they had been mentioned. Even though the tyrant had been the one to split them up in the first place…

The existence of mechs and femmes in the Decepticon army who were sparked for creation and healing remained rare as it always had been, and the Constructicons inarguably were the best at both. Megatron was not known for settling for second-rate so maybe that was why he hadn't reacted badly at the mention of those who had betrayed him, or else he could simply have had his processor on other matters at the time.

In any case, Hook refused to work on any kind of professional construction without his gestalt's input; it was a family affair after all.

The medic slumped for a moment, loneliness tearing at his defences before he forced it back. Sometimes he felt starved of the link as it could never reach full strength while his family was so far away.

At least, he supposed, it allowed him to understand the separation issues Starscream had.

It could be _suffocating _at times but the CMO had no idea how to approach his leader about the issue. He knew he was going to have to bring it up in conversation soon somehow; the itch in his spark became steadily more unbearable and frequent in occurrence as time went on, beginning to feel like a nest of Insecticons were living in, _gnawing at,_ his internals.

* * *

Knock Out watched his superior rubbing at his chest plates, just above his spark chamber, as the Constructicon worked on his reports. He was sure Hook was unaware of the action as well as that there was optic fluid collecting in the corners of the senior medic's bared optics, visor temporarily open as the green and purple mech laboured diligently over his case records while compiling another update for their leader.

The vain mech's loyalty to Megatron, though he would never admit it unless subjected to a little session with Vortex, was becoming more dubious as the war progressed.

Breakdown, Hook and Starscream.

The only mechs he truly gave a slag about and Megatron had hurt them, come close to destroying each of them in so many different ways countless times. It made his circuits sing with the wish to find someone; their faction didn't matter, and perform some unnecessary surgery.

Digits twitching, his twisted faceplates morphed into a fond smile as his bondmate offered up his own frame to sate Knock Out's desire, but the strawberry red medic knew he didn't have the self-control at that moment to take blades to his cherished mate's metallic body.

Breakdown knew he had kissed Starscream but was aware it wasn't intended as an act of disloyalty. Knock Out chuckled dryly; relieved he had a mech that understood him so well, perhaps even better than the vain mech knew himself. Still, his digits tingled with the need to relieve the built up rage and frustration.

Maybe the Combaticon would indulge him with someone if he invited the interrogator to join in…

Breakdown's servo caressed his back and he sighed softly, pushing into the touch, irritation being mostly stroked away under his assistant's clever digits.

The moment of intimacy was rudely interrupted, ruining Breakdown's efforts of calming his upset mate to his annoyance, by Megatron's sudden appearance in the med-bay doorway.

Knock Out turned away, knowing his mate's body shielded his, to hide the barely audible snarl he couldn't quite keep inside.

A steady stream of _calm calm calm _trickled into the red and white medic's spark from his mate. Acknowledging it silently, Knock Out pinged Hook's comm link to warn him of Megatron's approach. The CMO glanced up and stood, servos falling to dangle at his sides, as his frame assumed his natural arrogant stance.

The office door slid shut behind his leader and they took their normal seats, Hook handing over his this-klik completed report to his Commander.

For a few kliks Megatron stared at the report, pretending to read its contents but actually watching his CMO's reactions to his presence. Hook was angry, perhaps even enraged, with him even now but he allowed the medic his feelings.

The medic, despite everything, was loyal after all. Stifling him would only create hatred which didn't need to exist if it wasn't already swirling in the Constructicon's spark.

Although Soundwave claimed Hook felt no more resentment than was to be expected, no more than most.

Hook sighed softly, a small ripple of air passing through his vents, knowing what, or rather _who, _Megatron really wanted to speak about.

The CMO felt he was out of his league, emotional and mental damage was never his forte even as an unspoiled apprentice before the war. He could repair a mech of almost any physical wound but he was no therapist and Soundwave, considering his relationship with Starscream and their past, would certainly not fulfil requirements.

That left Hook in something of a quandary. The other medics, though certainly skilled in putting mech's parts back together possessed little ability to do the same for a comrade's processor, and most would rather focus their energies on destruction than trying to learn such things. Knock Out freely admitted that he was better 'at breaking them than fixing them' and 'breaking them' was something that all Decepticons enjoyed. There would be very few with the necessary patience and empathy who would tolerate another's 'weaknesses' much less help to heal them.

He might have to contact his old mentor for advice… as a _very _last resort.

'Starscream is back in his quarters My Lord and the Seekers are calmer now he has spoken to them.' Hook kept his gaze stern, not wanting Megatron to believe that Starscream was somehow 'cured' overnight as he had addressed his fliers for a couple of kliks.

The tyrant nodded before a disquieting thought struck him. The Seekers of course disapproved, to put it mildly, of his treatment of Starscream; how they would react if they ever found out about the true nature of their precious Winglord's condition now was anyone's guess.

It could be mutiny.

_Frag it all!_

Clearing his throat, putting the thought to the back of his mind to consult with Soundwave about later, Megatron stated, 'I need him to be constantly checked on. I do not want others getting the idea that he's an easy target.'

'Knock Out is going to collect him later to have his colours restored.' _To receive 'the paintjob of the vorn'. _Hook nodded. 'My Lord… you are aware this is going to be a long process aren't you? He is… _fragile _and… will be for some time.'

Megatron nodded slowly, gladiator side surprisingly dormant at Hook's statement of Starscream's delicacy as Optimus sniggered cruelly. _How exactly do you hope to fix this __**Mighty **__Megatron? _The Prime used Starscream's old title, _endearment? _for him like a whiplash against his spark.

_Patience and persistence._

_Only one of which you have._

'We need to discuss,' Hook's drew him out of his thoughts, distracting him from Optimus's voice, 'how exactly Starscream is to be treated.'

'What do you recommend?' Megatron could admit mental health was not his area of expertise but his optic ridges raised as Hook's servo came up to rub at the CMO's own orbs.

'Much as it pains me to admit an Autobot exceeds me in any field,' Hook grimaced, engines revving briefly in irritation, 'Ratchet or one of his ilk would probably be of more use than me here. And while this is most certainly Soundwave's field, his relationship with Starscream may get in the way of any progress that could be made by him using his knowledge. We shall have to progress slowly and your idea to restore some of his old rights may well be a good one. However, I would recommend,' the CMO hesitated, unable to quite meet Megatron's optics.

The silence progressed long enough that Megatron felt obliged to prompt the Constructicon. 'you would recommend…?'

'I would advise that… you yourself should consider consulting Soundwave about your… issues.' Now he'd finally forced it out, Hook's tone and posture relaxed slightly. It was a conversation he had wanted to start with his Lord for solar cycles but had never before summoned up the necessary courage to do so. 'Starscream will only heal if he feels safe and secure, and he will only feel that way if it is completely clear to him that his leader is… self-controlled.'

The Decepticon Lord stared intensely at the CMO as Hook compelled himself not to squirm, keeping his frame proudly still and his gaze unwavering now he'd made his point.

'And what… would you suggest he do?' Megatron leaned back in his chair, metallic body losing its tenseness. 'I will not consent to being reprogrammed.'

It went unsaid that Soundwave would do nothing of the kind unless Megatron explicitly gave his permission.

'Of course not My Lord, nothing so drastic, but perhaps he could give you some advice on how to interact with Starscream,' _and others, _'without becoming violent unless severely provoked.'

After a few further moments of quiet filled only by the soft beating of rain against the sides and ceiling of the extra resistant structure that housed the med-bay Megatron spoke again. 'You, Soundwave and I will meet later to discuss this. What of Starscream?' Megatron leaned forward, resting his servos on his CMO's desk.

Smiling at Megatron's unusual compliance, Hook answered, 'I will observe him as I'm sure Knock Out will do as he receives his new paintjob. The attention he will be receiving will be, as I'm sure you know, intense from my assistant and may give an indication as to Starscream's state of mind and what ability he has, if any, to withstand such attentiveness from another mech. Then I suppose we will have to revise what we know to determine how to proceed.'

The tyrant privately thought that any reaction the Seeker may make in Knock Out's presence would be biased, incomparable to how his second may react to him when they next met.

But he left such thoughts unsaid, not wanting to admit to his secret observations of Starscream, and simply nodded his understanding.

The conversation, temporarily exhausted, turned to other matters.

* * *

Knock Out and Breakdown watched discreetly through the window out of the corners of their optics, checking on the sedative-induced recharging patients; occasionally having to hold berths still as thunder shook the base to stop their charges being thrown about and perhaps further damaged.

If the CMO was to be their third, they knew they would have to prove themselves as competent guardians of Hook's spark and well-being.

Megatron stood, nodding to his subordinate partly in acknowledgement and partly in order to get on with his work, strode through Hook's office doorway, crossed over to them and pulled Knock Out out into the corridor with him. Holding the smaller mech by the throat firmly, but not painfully, he stared deep into the vain mech's optics.

The medic's spark shivered at the forceful look as the base shook, lightning viciously striking the wall outside and sending weaker-willed mechs cowering into their quarters.

The sound seemed to die down a bit though as Megatron released him and pulled away slightly, optics looking everywhere but at the slighter mech.

_Of all the immature, jealous… _

_Oh shut up! _

'I wish you to help me with Starscream's… _condition._' The tyrant ignored his brother's voice, inadvertently looming over Knock Out.

Biting his glossa on the sharp retort just begging to be given voice, Knock Out took on a carefully blank expression he'd seen Starscream adopt so often and nodded. 'Of course My Liege.'

Megatron's optics narrowed at the touch of chastisement in the medic's tone, giving a low growl in warning that tapered off as Knock Out bowed his helm, optics staring at the floor. 'Remember your place Knock Out. I do not wish to have to _remind _you of it.'

_**Calm! **__Calm! Calm! _Frantically came across the link from his panicking partner. Breakdown's influence barely kept Knock Out from clenching his fists in rage, an action which would most certainly provoke the tyrant.

A burst of hot air expelled from Megatron's vents and the Warlord's frame visibly appeared to relax. 'Just… help me, yes?' The tone softened as Knock Out's frustrated stance reminded him of Starscream near the beginning of it all, when there had been some genuine anger there intermingled with the hurt and before the Seeker's will had been beaten down so harshly.

If he wanted Starscream to ever be like he was he would have to learn to control his instincts, and if he couldn't do that when it was only Knock Out who had irritated him…

… _How the frag would you expect to do so when it's __**him?**_

Raising a servo, Megatron ran it gently down the medic's faceplate before cupping the vain mech's chin, encouraging him to meet his optics once again. 'Yes?'

'Yes My Lord,' Knock Out murmured and the tyrant let him go, lightly pushing him back towards the med-bay doors and the medic's anxious bondmate.

Megatron hung back in the shadows watching Breakdown's arm come up to wrap protectively around his smaller mate's shoulders, an inaudible conversation taking place culminating in Knock Out's laughter and the ruby medic's mate fondly smiling down on his partner.

A flicker of envy burned within the Warlord as he turned and walked away.

* * *

Starscream glanced over his report of the failed raid, gnawing on his lower lip so hard energon began to trickle down his chin, dripping onto his neck. Wiping it away, blinking harshly to clear his optics, he re-read his work once more then placed it carefully back on his desk.

Tired, he crept across his quarters back to his berth and curled up on it, trembling in anxiety as he wondered how Megatron would react to the text he'd spent the last two cycles writing.

Would Megatron take his new vocaliser away? Hurt him again?

The tyrant had been known to punish him repeatedly for the same offence.

Closing his optics tight, the Seeker nestled into the centre of the soft metal coverlet, nuzzling at it like a bird tending to its nest. Burrowing deeply into it, he pulled his pillow down from the head of the berth to cover his form almost entirely.

As he hid he wondered what he should do, work his way up to Megatron's quarters _now _and _alone _or wait for the tyrant to summon him.

Either decision could, and had in the past, go horribly and _painfully_ wrong.

It was perhaps the worst aspect of being Megatron's second, having so many options but knowing that any choice you made was sure to be the incorrect one.

His wings twitched when Megatron pinged at his comm line, fractures of memories flying through his helm, gone in the blink of an optic…

_Megatron taking his wings, Megatron pinning him down, the tyrant hugging him, echoes of praise which he was sure had never been spoken, the Warlord's voice at once snarling then soothing beside his audio…_

**Master? **He questioned hesitantly.

Only static answered him for a klik then, **Hook wishes you to stay in your quarters and you are not to wander the base alone. When you're… We shall talk properly when you have been medically cleared to do so.**

…**Yes Sir. **Starscream stared baffled at his limited view of his quarters; Megatron's voice was almost _gentle. _Why did he always have to be such an enigma? The Seeker's thrice-damned curious nature never allowed the flier to completely let the tyrant go in his mind, if not in his spark. If the larger mech was not so contradictory, so undeniably _fascinating, _then maybe Starscream would not have fallen so hard for him, maybe the actions and words of the elder would not have done so much harm to him. Others had put him down, beat him up, tried to kill him even since he was a sparkling and no permanent damage had ever been done to his frame, processor or spark.

One derogatory word from Megatron and his self-esteem plummeted through the rock beneath his pedes.

And yet he always wanted to see what hare-brained scheme his leader came up with next, plans that should be impossible to carry out but somehow worked perfectly nearly every time particularly in the early days of the war.

**Until then, recharge, rest. The war is on hold somewhat and I need you at full strength when it resumes. **

**Yes, **Starscream chirped then tried again in an attempt at his normal voice though even that trembled, **yes My Lord. **

His recently installed vocaliser was wreaking havoc with his systems.

The comm line crackled for a moment with Megatron's breathing before the connection broke. Starscream cheeped softly then, slowly, his systems powered down and his optics fluttered closed.

Megatron turned from his monitor, and the sight of Starscream's lightly quivering wings, at a ping to his comm line kliks later.

**Ah! Shockwave. You are free then I trust?**

**Yes Lord Megatron, but I am regrettably in need of a new door for my lab.**

* * *

Shockwave, ignoring the whimpering within of his test subjects, moved through the hole he'd created in the side of his lab, the small explosion completely obliterating his almost impenetrable metal door.

At least it wasn't Autobots who had destroyed it. The scientist would have been most displeased to have been interrupted in one of his experiments…

Unless, of course, he was short of lab rats then they would be most welcome.

Calling for Soundwave in their link, Shockwave contacted their Master and arranged a meeting with him.

Soon enough tentacles wrapped around the scientist's form and the cara of Shockwave's sparklings wrapped his long arms around the purple mech.

Pulling the telepath to him, Shockwave coaxed his lover to their quarters, eager to reunite his spark with its mate's.

As loyal as they both were to Megatron, the other came first.

* * *

Sitting in his office, Megatron watched the combatting tornadoes, one of fire, the other of lightning.

Brilliant orange met cold purple in a fierce battle for dominance of the terrain, lines of lightning sparked off the whirling air to leave corrupting scars across the blazing fire. For several kliks it seemed it was doomed to be extinguished as the rain added its power to the electricity, the inferno flickered, weakening by the moment…

Then the wind seemed to turn and the fire rose into the heights of the sky once more to rage at its oppressors, the downpour met it and was consumed, fizzling out pitifully with seemingly no more strength than a light drizzle.

The emotionless lightning watched the demise of the rain as it met the fire, then advanced once more.

This time it seemed to stroke at the fury with a shy liking, as if questioning.

The two tornados danced together for several cycles, first towards each other then twirling away, giving more of themselves to each other as time progressed until they were indecipherable from each other, one beautiful omnipotent being destroying and forcing into submission all in its wake.

Megatron watched mesmerized, enraptured.

The blending of the two colours, the two forces of nature, was perfectly reflected in his crimson optics.

* * *

_Thanks for reading and please review._

_Also, do you guys want to see any interlude/mini-chapters centred on Soundwave/Shockwave or Knock Out/Breakdown (later KO/BD/Hook)? I would post them at A03 and let you know each time they were there when proper chapters are posted or post heavily edited versions here._


	8. Instincts

_Author's Note- Hi this chapter is posted in its entirety._

_Special thanks to Starlove, Decepticon Skywhip, The-writing-Mew, fan girl 666, Kitt SummerIsle, Iwanita, poisonouswaffle'n-stuffs, Guest, Chibi Oro, NightXIV, Mavis, LittleLadyLokiStark, __Alestrel,__ X-Eclipse, Kami Count D, __Riddick __and silveryn83 for your reviews and comments. _

_Hello this is my first fic of this dark a nature so I would ask that you read the warnings carefully before reading and no flamers please. It's AU so you can imagine it however you want. _

_This story was partially inspired by Kami Count D's 'Crime and Punishment' fic and I would recommend you all to read it if you have not already (also if you like Starscream/Ironhide as a pairing 'Crime and Punishment's' companion fic 'The Enemy You Know' is also a very enjoyable read)._

_Unbetaed._

_Disclaimer- I do not own Transformers or its characters._

_Warnings (full uncensored version on archiveofourown- see link on my profile)- Rated MA. Non-con/graphic rape, violence, perhaps some slight gore and mutilation near/at the beginning, there may be consensual slash in later chapters, Transformer swearing, angst, depression, death, trauma, mentions of masturbation._

_Warnings for this chapter- Transformer swearing, mentions of previous character death (major in the Prime verse), violence, depression, trauma, hints at past rape (not described), sexual references but nothing explicit._

_This chapter- Starscream's third dream: Bold and Italics- Megatron. Italics- Starscream. _

_Units of Time:-_ _Astrosecond- 1 second_ _Klik- 1 minute_ _Cycle- 1 hour_ _Orn- 1 day_ _Decacycle- 1 week_ _Meta-cycle- 1 month_ _Solar cycle- 1 year_ _Vorn- 1 million years_

_Italics- Flashbacks/thoughts/memories/link speak._

_Bold- Comm speak._

_Recognisable lines are borrowed/paraphrased from the 2007-2011 movies, accompanying games and other Transformers media._

_I hope you enjoy the chapter and please review._

* * *

Chapter Eight- Instincts

Starscream hovered outside Megatron's door, optics tracing the faction emblem on the massive entrance, his talons reached up to stroke the air in front of it not wanting to inadvertently scratch the symbol.

Megatron would surely notice.

His report datapad was cradled in one arm and his surprise for his leader was safely stored in his subspace. Wings flicking nervously, he closed his optics and sank his denta into the flier's lower lip component, taking deep intakes just as Hook had taught the SIC.

_He will always have control of the situation but you have some influence on how you yourself react. Panicking will only anger him and distress you further so try to keep calm and focus. We will be here to put you back together again so try not to worry about anything._

_Keep calm. Focus._

_Breathe._

Rapping gently on the door, Starscream waited posture rigid, for the tyrant to admit him. Engines thrumming softly, the Seeker dug deeply into himself and called up a somewhat confident smile.

The Warlord's pedesteps could be heard inside, Starscream feeling the vibrations of each one through the strong metal floor. As the door opened slowly inwards and Megatron appeared in the gap created, Starscream's helm dipped, processor noting unconsciously that he possessed as much strength as a winglet compared to the older mech.

Resisting the urge to slump his shoulders and so appear even more vulnerable, fragile, than he knew his Master perceived him to be, Starscream held himself still.

A strong arm wrapped tightly around his shoulders and Starscream's spark shuddered in response. The grip, while not painfully tight, was not quite comfortable for him either; Megatron putting slightly too much of his weight onto him as the Air Commander was guided into the otherwise empty room.

The Seeker's discomfort grew at the realisation that he was alone with his Lord. While no punishment had caused serious damage as yet, the tyrant had still stolen his trinemates away from him and humiliated him repeatedly both in public and private.

And so very few gave a slag about it.

Most watched on, seeming to forget the times their Air Commander had saved their _fragging worthless_ frames, and sniggered just loud enough to goad Megatron on without drawing his attention to them. It was great entertainment for them, Starscream was sure, and it allowed them to be absolved of all blame as the flier took it on for them.

Megatron was worryingly growing increasingly transfixed by his wings.

Though he had once said they were beautiful, in not so many words admittedly, but the message had been no different. He wouldn't truly take them away would he? Even though he had threatened to it was only because he was angry wasn't it?

He hadn't meant it, he couldn't have done…

Ordering himself not to think of such things, remembering Hook's advice on the issues that had taken root in his processor, that he shouldn't dwell on things he had no power over, Starscream allowed his wings to relax down his back as he and Megatron crossed the room and the flier was unceremoniously deposited in the chair before the older mech's desk.

One large servo reached out for his datapad across the sleek metal surface as soon as Megatron settled in the Decepticon Lord's own seat.

As soon as his report left his servo, Starscream prepared himself to at a moment's notice remove his present for his leader.

The mission was successful for the most part but the Seeker was beginning to learn that success did not always guarantee reward or indeed even the absence of punishment.

Megatron's calculating optics scanned the contents of the data presented to him then tossed the pad without preamble on the desk top and abruptly stood. Starscream froze as the tyrant rounded the desk and grabbed the back of his chair, yanking it out from under the flier and sending him crashing to his knees on the harsh floor.

As the Warlord raised his fist, one of Starscream's arms flew up to protect himself as the other dove into his subspace in frantic search of the object he had placed in their both for its own protection- Megatron may have accidentally destroyed it before realising what it was- and as a hopeful safeguard against a potential beating.

'Gift,' the Seeker yelped frantically, concealing his wings behind his back and imagining the CMO's disappointment that Starscream had lost his composure so quickly. Withdrawing the weapon from subspace he dared a glance up at Megatron's unreadable faceplates, 'I… took this back from the Autobots for you Master.'

As the tyrant took the Energon Harvester from him, a devious smirk grew on Megatron's lip components as the Decepticon Lord's optics darkened to a deep crimson. Tentatively as the Warlord studied the piece of tech, Starscream produced the plans used to create it and reached up to lay them on his Master's desk.

Megatron left Starscream's sight for a moment and the flier curled into the side of his leader's rare-metal possession. The tyrant's laughter boomed out, echoing around the room, and catching the SIC by surprise forcing a startled chirp from his vocaliser.

The tyrant's pedes quickly reappeared in the Seeker's line of vision and the scientist tentatively tilted his helm to look up at the massive mech. For a moment Megatron seemed confused as to why his subordinate was on the ground then he seemed to shrug before pulling Starscream to his pedes and clapping his second comradely on the back.

'We must celebrate, my dear Starscream.'

* * *

The Seeker's optics flickered open and the memory of the last time Megatron was truly kind to him- after all the tyrant had not actually laid a servo on him- dissipated as he blinked to clear his vision.

They had spent the evening drinking, Starscream not noticing that the Warlord was not sipping high grade with him, late into the night cycle.

Megatron had relaxed nevertheless, a warm smile settling into faceplates as they talked. The SIC eventually felt secure enough to boast about his achievements of the orn, relieved when the tyrant only smirked in answer.

_The way the Autobots had fled in terror and their base had burned sending dark plumes of smoke into the sky that the Seekers gleefully played in, using it as cover to catch their retreating enemies unawares despite bemoaning their blackened paintjobs later._

A quiet giggle puffed out of the Air Commander's vents and his optics sparkled before darkening and closing again.

Megatron had told him to recharge, so that is what he would do, regardless of what memories his processor confronted him with.

* * *

'You know why I have to be so strict with you don't you Starscream?' Megatron murmured in his cowering second's audio. 'Hmm?'

He clicked in disgust when he didn't receive an answer, kicking the smaller mech cruelly in his chassis easily parting Starscream's hurried motion of wrapping his arms around himself. The flier keened in pain as his chest collapsed and one of his arms snapped inwards, collapsing to lie on his side on the floor of Megatron's private interrogation room.

'I asked you a question, Starscream.'

'D-don't…' The Seeker whimpered softly, trailing off as rancid energon rose in his throat.

''D-don't' _what? _You don't know? Are you asking me not to hurt you? _Speak, _cretin.'

'D-don't n-know Master,' he whispered, trying to curl himself into a ball once more.

Shrieking in agony, Starscream was lifted by his wings and thrown down on a metal slab, stained with the energon of Primus knew how many Autobots and Decepticon traitors and rogues.

Megatron initialised the controls with an internal order, giving Starscream no warning as clamps bound him firmly by his wrists and ankles to the cold surface. The tyrant settled comfortably beside him, servos discoloured by his second's mech-blood.

'You don't know?' He began softly, ignoring Starscream's pleading look and shallow, fearful ventilations, 'well then I shall tell you and you will have to ensure that you remember.'

The Seeker trembled as a digit travelled up and down his bared and helpless right wing, Megatron seated between him and the only exit.

'It is not because you are pitiful, though that you certainly have become. While you are clever my dear second you are a slave, much as any Seeker is, to your instincts. Sky and trine are at the core of your programming am I correct?'

The flier nodded, breath hitching as he tried to control his growing panic, spark swirling in hurt at Megatron's insult.

The tyrant leaned back in his chair, his claw never leaving his second's treasured appendage. 'I did not need your confirmation, only for you to admit it as true. Both make you weak even you must see that. Your need for the air causes claustrophobia and an easily exploitable well-known fear in you of being removed from the skies. Your trine causes you to rely on others to fight for you, to save you, when you should be doing such things for yourself. If either, or both, were threatened by the Autobots you would trade any secret you are entrusted with to protect them.'

Starscream frantically shook his helm but Megatron merely paused a moment to backhand him, giving the Seeker a warning growl to be still.

'A few disciplinary sessions with me Starscream will not do you harm, but make you stronger. You will learn to bear suffering on my behalf and so be moulded into a better warrior. I am strict with you not only to control the… _defective _parts of your nature but also to teach you to overcome your weaknesses.'

The Seeker's spark shrank into the back of its chamber as Megatron stood and walked into the shadows, continuing to speak almost to himself as he switched something Starscream couldn't see on and a machine came to life with a purring humming noise. With his back to the flier Megatron murmured, 'but then… perhaps I am overly focussed on you. After all, your entire kind share your drawbacks, so maybe they need a lesson as well. They need only to be taught that their sky and trine are not what they should be serving and I shall do so through you. You will help me in this, to create Seekers who are more than what they are now.'

Starscream whined softly as Megatron returned and gripped his wing, a paint stripper raised threateningly in the older mech's spare servo.

'Shh Starscream, it will all be over soon.'

The SIC's frame convulsed as phantom agony tore through his wings, the painted faction emblem on each wing being gradually removed before he had become the first Seeker to have his sensitive appendages actually _branded _with the symbol.

Soundwave had entered at some point to help Megatron keep him still but Starscream couldn't remember exactly when, feeling like one moment he and his leader were alone and the next tentacles were lashing him down along with the thick bindings.

Later, he had had to stand and watch as the others went through it.

Pleads to Megatron about sparing his younger warriors had fallen on deaf audios and Starscream, until the others had somehow found out about their Winglord's own branding, had been temporarily ostracised by his hurt wing brothers who believed he had offered them to the tyrant willingly.

Some even wondered if it had been their Winglord's idea.

In truth, Starscream had tried everything he could think of to get Megatron to change his mind, highlighting how much damage could be done not just to the processors of the fliers- the SIC was aware that his leader would not care about something like that- but to their physical flying ability.

There had been a moment when Megatron had seemed to waver then he'd put his servo on his second's wing murmuring that he was sure Starscream would fix any issue that may arise, and the tyrant's tone had efficiently ended the conversation.

A young flier, his trinemates and leader stationed elsewhere, had stood in line trembling violently until Starscream had approached him, stroking his wings to encourage them to relax and offering the only comfort he could.

Missing his own trinemates, feeling flickers of their own anxiety from them in their own base, the Air Commander guided the youngster up to their leader, staying in the light green Seeker's vision as his subordinate, his wing brother, was bound.

**Easy young one, easy. **Starscream soothed once his comm had been accepted. **You'll be alright, I'll find your trinemates and get them back here for you as a reward, yes?**

The younger flier seemed to calm mostly at that promise, becoming docile and still as Megatron approached him. He had screamed of course, all of them had, but he became settled quicker than most afterwards.

* * *

The SIC onlined again briefly, smiling slightly as he pictured the reunion between the youngest and his mates. They had vanished off to the light green mech's room kliks after meeting up and hadn't reappeared for many cycles, most of the orn in fact.

For them, the pain had been worth it.

And, for Starscream when Megatron found out he had swapped mechs around without his knowledge, the sight of his fliers content had been enough to get him through the punishment.

Strangely, Megatron did not change the Seekers back.

Starscream's optic ridges furrowed but, due to the lack of energon in his systems, he slipped back under before he could really think about what that meant.

* * *

It always surprised Megatron that, while the darker side of his programming was reviled by Starscream, it was also fiercely possessive of him, snarling adamantly that the Seeker was _his _and his alone. When he harmed Starscream it left him aching to claim his second as he would have done in the pits of Kaon.

Once it was clear that the Seeker was defeated, Megatron was constantly jarred by sudden shifts in emotion, anger at his second's perceived denial of the tyrant's ownership and superiority becoming something like concern for Starscream's injuries in the blink of an optic.

It occurred to him that he had never watched the flier recover like this before. He would visit the med-bay just long enough to make sure Starscream would survive then the Air Commander would be fixed to near-full functionality by the next time they met.

Listening to the rainfall, he watched his second huddling beneath the flier's pillow, and contemplated Hook's words.

Starscream had always been a brilliant mech. A champion flier whose scientific skills rivalled Shockwave's…

A burst of cool air expelled from his vents as he thought that, at least, that was an area where Starscream was not alone; the tyrant having come down equally as harshly on the cycloptic mech over the same issue. It wasn't the work itself Megatron objected to, being completely prepared to be indulgent if necessary, but the idealism of it.

Much of what both his scientists did was based on, to him, nothing tangible. It was all dreams and what-ifs, and if it failed or was found to be too time-consuming without enough gain, Megatron would forbid them to work on it. Moreover if he found them to be working on it even in their spare time he could be exceedingly cruel in his reprimand.

The experiments the two conducted could inarguably be very useful as shown time and again in the past, but it could also be a prime example of his two officers allowing themselves to do what they loved to excess and at the expense of the army. As such, the Warlord needed to make sure they remembered what their work should be geared towards.

They could play as much as they wanted once the war was over. Megatron having made it clear to Shockwave, though not Starscream, that once the Decepticons were indisputably in power that the tyrant would give free reign to whatever his scientists wanted to do; to see if they could come up with something brilliant if they had none of the restrictions on them necessary in wartime.

He supposed he may have been callous, but when fighting such a war as they were, no one could afford to be selfish and everything, when it came down to it, was merely fodder.

Everything was expendable but… no one ever said Megatron didn't have his favourites that would only be sacrificed if absolutely necessary.

Optimus's abandonment, he knew, while giving him the fire he needed to survive the Kaon pits, had left him jaded, had sparked off his ache for change. That he fought his younger sibling now didn't surprise him, their ideals having become radically different even in their adolescence, but it had saddened him for a time.

The now Prime had charmed the Council, leaping to the top and leaving his elder behind, Megatron falling so low afterwards in response that even Cybertron's dirt was above him. While a mech could achieve glory in the pits, he was still only a commodity for the entertainment of others, to be killed on any given crowd's whim. For that was what most had listened to when Champions made their decisions about the fate of their opponent and so very few had been spared.

It was a shame that so many potential sympathisers had been slaughtered in that manner; they could have been useful to the Decepticon cause…

Thinking of his brother, he couldn't help but wonder what it would be like when he extinguished the younger's spark. They did have a sibling bond, though it was kept firmly closed on both sides, so how would it feel when that was broken?

It may ruin a moment that would otherwise be full of elation.

Still, it had to happen one orn, the war had to end somehow and the death of either leader was the only way to make sure of it once and for all. The universe, vast as it was, truly wasn't big enough for the both of them, not anymore.

Forcing his processor to the matter at hand, Megatron's thoughts returned to his second.

He couldn't be reprogrammed, especially considering that his gladiatorial nature was the only way he could face a Prime in a fight with any hope of winning, it was where his strength originated from and he couldn't give it up, not for anything.

Or anyone.

But, maybe as Hook had implied he could learn to control it, use it better.

He had never had to think about such things before, his instincts always leading him to where he needed to be to do what had to be done.

Starscream's wings fluttered onscreen, just visible beneath the flier's pillow, and Megatron sighed softly.

How he wished he had never laid a servo on those pieces of art.

* * *

Soundwave curled into Shockwave's embrace, the bond humming quietly between them soothing both the telepath and their finally peacefully recharging symbiotes.

_What happened to Starscream affects you in no way, my love. To believe so is illogical._

Soundwave nodded slowly, tentacles pushing into his bondmate's strong servos.

Shockwave sighed inwardly, caressing his partner; this only confirmed his belief that emotions were a weakness that only troubled those afflicted with them.

Including now, it seemed, himself.

Soundwave had long ago slipped into and made a home in his spark, and the cost of experiencing the telepath's devotion had been allowing himself to be infected with the taint of emotions which had the ability to, at a moment's notice, take command of their host.

The Decepticon TIC however had always proven a most reliable and loyal bondmate, and was the scientist's greatest treasure without equal.

Unlike Soundwave, Shockwave had never allowed Megatron to get closer than he found comfortable, and so the actions of the tyrant affected his lover far more than him when they did at all. The scientist reasoned that the Warlord quite clearly did great harm to those around him, and self-preservation dictated that at least some distance was necessary.

Still, Soundwave held Megatron in such a high regard that to have the image he held of his leader knocked the way it had been was an understandable shock. It was well-known how the tyrant treated Autobot prisoners in private, but there was always an element of control there- at least enough to prevent him killing his victim until he wished to- that apparently the Decepticon Lord had lacked in his encounter with Starscream; and his last… _conversation_ with Dreadwing must not allowed to be forgotten even if the majority of the army didn't know the full truth of the matter.

The only other time Soundwave had ever felt so insecure was after the previous second's deactivation but it had been thought that, though certainly tragic in the sense of being a blow to the army, the incident had helped Megatron in the long term. And things afterwards had settled down soon enough.

Some of the tyrant's rage had been expelled and had not resurfaced until several orns ago, and things had quietened in general as the Warlord had his new second to relieve surplus stress on.

Not that the situation had been ideal admittedly, but it had seemed a suitable solution while it had lasted.

He supposed he could understand his partner's unease, slight anxiety flitting through their bond that the Decepticon Lord may one orn harm their family in a temper.

He might not even mean to do it…

To see one's hero fall, knowing that you contributed to it, was a devastating experience even for the communications officer.

Though there may be some truth in Soundwave's buried deep fear.

There had been times, when Megatron had been particularly paranoid, that he had doubted the scientist's loyalty.

Especially when the Warlord once burnt an old lab of his to the ground.

The cold rage that had blasted through him then had been hard to contain, and even more difficult to hide from his partner. He kept quiet of course, accepting Megatron's punishment outwardly impassively and without complaint, not wanting to endanger Soundwave in any way.

And if he was even more brutal than normal with his test subjects for several decacycles afterwards who was to know?

It was one area he truly sympathised with Starscream over, destroying the life's work of a scientist was abominable.

Running his servo up and down Soundwave's helm, he tilted his lover's chin up and pressed a reassuring kiss to his lip components.

_Mine._

* * *

_Mine, _Knock Out sighed through the link as Breakdown nibbled on his neck cables. _Oh yes._

This was the aspect of the storm he liked. With everyone trapped indoors, there was no fighting and so no unexpected injuries or running around, flitting from one patient to the next as they were wheeled in…

No _interruptions._

And Primus damn it if it wasn't something right out of those old romantic datapads he'd read when he was far more naïve, and curious about the relationships between other bots that he had yet to experience for himself.

Even if those datapads had been annoyingly fixated on relationships between mechs and _femmes _rather than mechs and _mechs, _the experience was still transferable.

Fragging, no, _making love _in front of an open fire with a storm howling outside…

Just, _wonderful._

And a moment that didn't revolve around the war was to always be savoured as it could very well take everything from you even in the following klik.

At least the others were stable now, leaving the two medics to enjoy each other's company in peace.

_Yours. Mine. _The larger mech's servos ran lightly, teasingly, down his superior's glimmering red, rapidly heating plating.

_Take me then, _the vain mech whispered, _hissed,_ his challenge through the link, lip components consuming his partner's.

* * *

Hook dozed in a med-bay berth, lazily listening to his patient's vital signs as he rested. Pride ran through his energon that he had finally confronted Megatron about his behaviour in some manner after putting the topic off for so long.

Glad to still be in one piece, the CMO's engines thrummed quietly in what was very nearly contentment.

He just needed to get his gestalt back…

A cycle later, Breakdown laid a blanket over the Constructicon while his cherry red bondmate checked over their patients.

_Tomorrow? _The former Wrecker questioned quietly, hopefully.

_Hmm… the day after may be better, once I've completed Starscream's new paintjob. _An angry sigh shuddered across the bond. _It might be necessary to wait a while longer until things have calmed down. That __**slagger **__always has to ruin everything!_

_Perhaps, Lord Megatron will be less aggressive now, _Breakdown tried to pacify, running a servo up and down Knock Out's back strut.

_Doubtful, _the vain mech slumped backwards into his lover's grip. _Starscream believes it will happen again, and I can't tell him it won't…_

Lifting his temporarily defeated mate up, the larger mech sat on a spare berth with his bondmate in his lap and began to lazily kiss him as he praised Knock Out through their link.

Feeling the crimson mech falling into recharge against him, Breakdown was surprised when the vain mech murmured _I love you _through the link as the smaller mech's systems shut down, talented servos resting on his partner's chassis.

It wasn't that Knock Out didn't feel that way or never said it, it was just rare for his lover to verbalise his affection first. Of course, the slighter mech had his reasons and Breakdown more than understood but still… it was nice to hear the words.

* * *

Starscream's form wrapped itself around his pillow, clutching at it as if it were a lifeline.

_Don't leave me… Master, __**please…**_

_I'm sorry! Come back!_

… _Please?_

_**I've got you little one, shh… It's alright…**_

_My-my Lord?_

_**Hush, you are… safe now…**_

The flier's optics blinked open, a confused orange tinged with specks of red in colour, then widened at the sight of two datapads, one a note the other an information pad, before his faceplates on his berth. They were both a rich purple in colour and so from Megatron's own desk.

His wings felt as though they had been caressed only astroseconds before, but he paid the sensation no mind as his servo tentatively reached for them after a quick glance across the room confirmed his report was gone and he was alone.

His scanning of his surroundings also revealed two cubes of mid-grade energon waiting for him on his berth side table, which he shimmied towards across the coverlet and diligently drank before going back to his previous position beneath his pillow.

Picking the note up, oblivious to the screaming storm outside, Starscream obeyed the tacit order and began to read.

* * *

_Thanks for reading and please review._


	9. Colours

_Author's Note- Hi this chapter is posted in its entirety._

_Special thanks to Starlove, Decepticon Skywhip, The-writing-Mew, fan girl 666, Kitt SummerIsle, Iwanita, poisonouswaffle'n-stuffs, Guest, Chibi Oro, NightXIV, Mavis, LittleLadyLokiStark, __Alestrel,__ X-Eclipse, Kami Count D, __Riddick, OverPowered and silveryn83 for your reviews and comments. _

_Hello this is my first fic of this dark a nature so I would ask that you read the warnings carefully before reading and no flamers please. It's AU so you can imagine it however you want. _

_This story was partially inspired by Kami Count D's 'Crime and Punishment' fic and I would recommend you all to read it if you have not already (also if you like Starscream/Ironhide as a pairing 'Crime and Punishment's' companion fic 'The Enemy You Know' is also a very enjoyable read)._

_Unbetaed._

_Disclaimer- I do not own Transformers or its characters._

_Warnings (full uncensored version on archiveofourown- see link on my profile)- Rated MA. Non-con/graphic rape, violence, perhaps some slight gore and mutilation near/at the beginning, there may be consensual slash in later chapters, Transformer swearing, angst, depression, death, trauma, mentions of masturbation._

_Warnings for this chapter- Transformer swearing, mentions of previous character death (major in the Prime verse), violence, depression, trauma, hints at past rape (not described), sexual references but nothing explicit._

_Units of Time:-_ _Astrosecond- 1 second_ _Klik- 1 minute_ _Cycle- 1 hour_ _Orn- 1 day_ _Decacycle- 1 week_ _Meta-cycle- 1 month_ _Solar cycle- 1 year_ _Vorn- 1 million years_

_Italics- Flashbacks/thoughts/memories/link speak._

_Bold- Comm speak._

_Recognisable lines are borrowed/paraphrased from the 2007-2011 movies, accompanying games and other Transformers media._

_I hope you enjoy the chapter and please review._

* * *

Chapter Nine- Colours 

_Starscream,_

_I give you my word that I will not harm you the next time we meet. I will visit you in your quarters after Knock Out has completed his work, Breakdown will escort you both to and from the medbay._

_Megatron._

Short and rather curt but Starscream found himself staring at it curiously, unconsciously wondering how many drafts the tyrant had written of this little note before settling on the version currently in the Seeker's servos.

And why did Megatron not include any of his titles in his sign off?

Placing it carefully back on the berth, the flier picked up the other, slightly heavier, datapad entitled _History of Kaon Gladiators and an Investigation of Gladiatorial Nature_. Curling up into his habitual ball, as if protectively shielding the pad, Starscream soon became engrossed.

* * *

The recently repaired Conehead trine stood stoically listening to the concerns of their wing brothers. Starscream had not returned to check on them for two orns and the Decepticon Seekers were becoming anxious especially as there had been something _off _about their Winglord when he had visited.

It seemed they would have to return to the medbay mere cycles after being cleared to leave it and ask Hook what was wrong, not that they expected a full answer from the CMO. Doctor-patient confidentiality would prevent him from saying too much.

They might be able to glean some hints about Starscream's condition, however.

Turning on their thrusters they left their kin and strode from the hall.

Now that Starscream's trine was no longer with him, they were his unofficial guardians. They didn't want to lose their Winglord as they had lost Dreadwing and the large flier's trine through him.

Megatron often forgot them whenever his former second was mentioned and they had been buried by the fliers close to, but not with, their trine leader.

Strutting down the corridors, their trine-bond was alive with questioning, wondering what they had missed while in medical stasis. If Starscream was seriously harmed, his trinemates would have their sparks…

Specks of anxiety, purple in the golden thread of their link, grew in size as they reached the medic's domain.

If Megatron and Starscream had had a spat, what state was their Winglord in?

Shoulders and wings starting to slump, they forced themselves back to rigid attention, taking to spark what the others had told them their Air Commander's instructions to be, and entered the med-bay in formal formation.

Hook eyed them warily from his office; optics flashing beneath his visor, then stepped out to meet the trio.

Half a cycle later, the Coneheads left the medbay, clicking in annoyance and dissatisfaction, heading to check on their Air Commander for themselves.

The CMO sighed loudly through his vents and began checking on his remaining patients.

* * *

Soundwave's engines purred as Shockwave knowingly caressed his tentacles, the scientist bending down to kiss his partner. Being kissed by the cycloptic mech was more like having a warm vibration pressed to his lip components making them tingle, Shockwave not having a proper mouth to touch him with.

A kiss which was uniquely the scientist's own and something the telepath claimed as entirely his.

He permitted himself a few kliks to bask in his partner's affection before a sigh huffed from his vents, and the telepath stood and stretched out his long and elegant frame. Tentacles caressing Shockwave's shoulder, Soundwave headed out to speak once more with Megatron before instigating his plans, not just for rationing but also for potential battle strategies that could be used to initiate a surprise attack once the downpour ended; and the tyrant apparently had something he wished to discuss in private with his third that he refused to speak of over the comm link.

Heading down the corridors he paused as the Autobot-dubbed Conehead trine stopped in tandem to gaze at him, partially in respect and partially in observant suspicion.

As they passed each other, the telepath, noting the direction the Seekers were heading in, quickened his pace.

Megatron needed to be warned.

The trine paused outside Starscream's quarters, and requested entry, pinging at their Winglord's comm to let him know who was there and waited.

* * *

_Megatronus, perhaps the greatest gladiator Kaon has ever known, remains undefeated at the time of writing. In a recent battle he bested Soundwave, a warrior nearly his equal in his skill, but spared his spark. This as has been shown was a rare move for such a mech, or indeed for most gladiators, it being more socially accepted to publically kill an opponent of such calibre to improve stature, rather than to claim their prize in private away from the avid optics of their fans._

_Megatronus, therefore, is also rather different to his brethren, placing his own value of his opponent above the expectations of the spectators. However, he is typically volatile and arguably cruel to his younger, less experienced opponents as he defeats them, indicating he is only merciful towards those he respects. Certainly, he has only ever spared opponents from deactivation who appeared to have impressed him in some way whether through skill or technique, speed or strength. _

_Also it has been recorded through the speeches he has just begun to make to selected groups of mechs that he is capable of reasoning far above most of his gladiatorial brothers…_

'_You owe me this… I spared your life.' _Megatron's voice suddenly hissed in his processor, and Starscream's talons lost their grip on the pad, it falling to the berth with a dull thunk. The frightening voice collided with his own reading of 'he is only merciful towards those he respects…'

Spark swirling in confusion, Starscream stared at a spot on the wall from his nest. So… Megatron did put some worth in him then? If the Warlord had no respect for him, instead of breaking his seal, he would have simply killed him surely? He had been wrong… But then why did the tyrant treat him as he had?

Frustration at being denied what he felt he was owed time and again for sparing his second execution? Then why had the Warlord's ill-treatment begun meta-cycles before that? It had not been quite so severe admittedly but was definitely in evidence.

It had even been life-threatening once, and over something so trivial. In secret Starscream had been working on an energon sword for his leader, noticing that Megatron's current blade was beginning to succumb both to time and wear caused by overuse. Designing it distracted him from the recent departure of his brothers and his increasing loss of standing with his fellow Decepticons, and he thought that when he presented it to his Master then Megatron might forgive whatever slight Starscream had unknowingly performed; and maybe their… relationship for lack of a better term could become more like what it had been before his promotion.

With a small amount of hope in his spark as he worked diligently on the weapon every spare klik he had, he had not initially been worried at his summons to the Great Hall. Starscream had been on no missions for several decacycles and was confident he had done nothing wrong; the silence he was confronted with, however, combined with everyone's optics boring into him caused ice to settle in his energon lines, collecting in his tanks.

Uneasily, though trying not to let his fear show, the winged mech crossed the room, the others giving him a wide berth, backing away from him to let their superior through as if he had some kind of contagious virus. Starscream had barely knelt before being confronted by his leader and Soundwave about keeping secrets and neglecting his duties and, at the worst possible moment, his vocaliser seemed to freeze, glitching without reason, and he found himself physically unable to explain his actions.

It was his first severe panic attack, Hook watching and taking note of it, but the CMO was restricted to spectating, forbidden to intervene.

Megatron rose from his throne and strode down his steps and the closer he grew, the more Starscream's symptoms worsened. His constricting spark pulsed at an unnaturally fast rate as he shook uncontrollably.

It was also the first time Starscream genuinely believed Megatron intended to kill him.

Half a cycle later, when the tyrant finally stopped striking him and withdrew, a look in the Warlord's optics Starscream could not understand even if he wanted to, Breakdown gathered him up and left the room. Just before he passed out, the Seeker noticed Hook and Knock Out flanking them, and… Megatron several yards behind the two medics, helm tilted just slightly in Starscream's direction.

When he got out of the medbay, in a moment of rage at what Megatron had done, he destroyed the half-formed weapon and the plans he had worked on so painstakingly. In that astrosecond, the thought of Megatron's declining weapon shattering on the battlefield and leaving him vulnerable, possibly getting him killed had caused Starscream genuine pleasure.

It was gone once the final strip of metal incinerated, leaving him feeling empty and deeply ashamed in himself for losing control and relishing, even for a moment, the thought of his leader's death.

Three orns later he was approached by a group operating in cells, wishing him to join them in a coup against the Decepticon Lord, but he had not agreed.

Not then…

The buzz his door gave to alert him to visitors distracted him from his thoughts, the pings to his comm line relieving him of the fear that Megatron had arrived early.

Primus damn it, he wasn't _ready!_

Calming himself, knowing that as Winglord he could not ignore his Seekers when they came to him, Starscream sent an internal order for his door to open, allowing his somewhat trinemates to enter. Without Skywarp and Thundercracker, if he flew with anyone at all it was the three in front of him.

They were beside his berth moments later, knelt in front of him, and crooning in comfort. Starscream could see and empathise with their frustration at the lack of a trine-bond as if they had one they could convey a million emotions at once if they wished. As it was, they were caught between offering him comfort in his obvious vulnerability- having seen that Starscream had built himself a nest to feel more secure- and asking what was wrong.

Reaching out to them, the Air Commander forced himself to sit up and sang quietly to them in Ancient Seeker, voice tentative, unsure of his current capability, but the storm provided a pleasant backing symphony. The attempt to calm his fliers worked to a degree, they fell silent, curling into the side of the berth and resting their helms on the soft metal as their Winglord petted their helms and wings.

Not wanting them to start questioning him he crooned to them until they fell into recharge, then stood and placed them in his nest.

Looking down on his frame, Starscream grimaced; Knock Out was going to laugh his paintwork off. Stepping into his washracks, his spark sent a painful pulse to the rest of his systems and the Seeker paused, gnawing on his lower lip component. It had been sending little twinges intermittently but that last one was stronger.

Cringing, trying to forget it, he turned on his cleanser and closed his optics.

* * *

Breakdown, after several kliks with no reply, used his medical override to force the door to Starscream's quarters open. He stepped inside, optics warily searching the room, and froze at a threatening hissing noise emanating from deeper within. Moments later the Conehead trine emerged, glaring at him suspiciously.

Raising his servos, knowing from experience in the medbay how protective and aggressive, almost primal, Seekers could become when one of their kin was injured, he stayed still and waited either for Starscream to appear and call them off, or for them to remember the former Wrecker was not a threat.

They seemed to scent him, then they nodded slowly and returned to Starscream's berth, perching on the edge in case the situation changed suddenly.

Breakdown released a quiet vent and rolled his engines in a reassuring gesture, smiling evenly at them. Servos falling to his sides, a small sense of relief ran through him. When he was an Autobot, he watched as a fellow Wrecker was torn to pieces by two Seekers for shooting their third down. Though the model appeared delicate, Seekers were anything but, especially when provoked.

Both Thundercracker and Skywarp had once been tortured by Autobots and, as he repaired them with Knock Out, Starscream's frame had vibrated with a savage rage. There was no hiding for their enemies when the trine-leader found out their designations…

The door to the wash racks slid open without ceremony and Starscream emerged, wings flicking in anxiety as he noticed Breakdown before visibly forcing himself to relax. Nodding to Knock Out's assistant in acknowledgement, he crossed the room to his fliers.

'_Go and look after the others for me,' _he murmured to them in their native tongue, '_I am not well and the younger ones need some kind of support until the skies are better.' _Running his servos down their wings in silent praise for coming to check on their Air Commander.

After a short exchange in clicks that Breakdown could not understand, the trine stood and bowed their helms, then slipped past the larger mech and left.

The medic could almost hear Starscream's spark whirring as the flier approached and he stepped aside for his superior to walk in front of him. Strangely, the SIC seemed to relax a fraction…

Starscream had begun to rationalise to himself that, if Breakdown wished to hurt him, then he wouldn't need, considering their differences in strength, to attack from behind.

Besides, the former Autobot had walked behind him before and never laid a servo on him, and Hook wouldn't send a mech who would assault him… The memory of Megatron's note made him falter.

What if Megatron had sent him, not the other medics?

Starscream unconsciously quickened his pace, relieved when the doors and soft light from the medbay came into sight.

* * *

Knock Out's optics trailed up and down Starscream's frame with an artist's gaze as his partner moved to stand behind him. Hook watched carefully, unnoticed in his office, silently noting down Starscream's reactions as his vain apprentice approached the winged mech.

Surprisingly, the Seeker barely flinched as the ruby red mech worked, lip components actually twitching in an almost smile as Knock Out hummed in contented enjoyment.

Allowing himself to be maneuvered by the medic's servos, Starscream's venting remained relatively normal, as familiar shades regrew on his frame.

Hook stared at how relaxed the flier appeared and his visor flashed briefly thinking that perhaps observing the Seeker's behaviour around mechs closer to Megatron's size, like Breakdown, would be more useful. At least, Starscream seemed calm around some members of the faction that had to be a good sign.

Knock Out crooked his claw to his assistant, chuckling in Starscream's audio, 'he's a maestro behind a rotary buffer.'

Gradually, Starscream after having initially tensed began to relax as Breakdown took over from his partner, accepting the larger mech meant no harm.

In fact, he started to feel pampered, even… cared for.

* * *

A few cycles later Starscream, finally alone in his quarters, examined his new colours in his mirror, allowing himself to preen a little. Silver, or rather, the dull grey he had been left the proud flier repelled by his own appearance.

A ping to his door comm made him flinch, the SIC doubted it was one of his brethren this time.

Thunder rumbled dully as the winged mech's servos came together nervously, energon drawn to the surface of his lower lip component as his sharp denta pushed into it.

After a few moments of hesitation, Starscream sent a ping to the door and it quickly slid open to permit his leader entry. Unsure how to behave, he pushed himself into the back wall and waited, trying to hide in the dark.

'Starscream…?' Megatron's gait lacked its usual confident swagger as he entered, blood-red optics seeking out his second. The Warlord stopped mid-way into the room, leaving an obvious gap so Starscream could easily get past him and out if he wished to.

The Seeker flinched, frame withdrawing into itself, a servo rising to rub at his chassis apparently in a self-conscious gesture.

Megatron watched out of the corner of his optic, standing sideways on facing the wash rack door. _What the frag do I say? _

Cautiously approaching his SIC, Megatron's gaze traced not only Starscream's restored colours, but his second's movements, cataloguing them in his processor for future reference.

'I… I don't understand,' the Seeker whispered, a pebble dropped in the river of the room, optics averted, 'what it is you think, _feel_ when you look at me…'

_Want. Desire. Lust. Respect constantly battling revulsion. Admiration. Curiosity. Ownership. Regret. Self-loathing._

_**Want.**_

Megatron tried to phrase his answer as a myriad of emotions bombarded him, and he knew that most of them were not what Starscream wanted to, or even should, hear.

'Master…?' The Seeker questioned softly, wings protectively folded against his back and giving no clue as to the sensations running through the scientist's frame.

The tyrant sighed through his vents and dropped into one of his second's chairs. 'I… would never allow anyone else to hurt you. You are _my _second and I would not trade you. You are… a fascinating creature.'

Starscream stared at him, helm half-turned away, orbs wide but dimmed. 'You are not the same.'

'I know,' Megatron began to slowly approach his Air Commander, 'but neither are you.'

Something flickered in the flier's optics but it was gone before the tyrant could decipher what it meant.

'O-only…' _Because you hated me the way I was. _Starscream stared at his pedes, his vision beginning to blur into the colours of his repainted frame, red being the strongest in the small fast-spinning tornado, '_hurts_.'

'Starscream?' With the speed many solar cycles in the pits had given him, Megatron shot forward, catching the flier before he could hit the ground.

_Starscream?_

* * *

___Thanks for reading and please review._

_Starlove- You caught me *giggles*. No I wish I was that devious. During the purge one of my stories was deleted so I try to be a bit careful now what I post on this site._

_P.S. Writing a fic (long one-shot) about Megatron and Starscream and I'm thinking of mechs to pair them with, perhaps Perceptor. Anyway I'm open to suggestions but it can't be Starscream's trinemates, Shockwave or Soundwave._


	10. Thunder Claps

_Author's Note- Hi this is the tenth chapter of Acid Rain. This one is censored as it features a Knock Out/Breakdown interfacing scene._  
_Special thanks to Starlove, Decepticon Skywhip, The-writing-Mew, fan girl 666, Kitt SummerIsle, Iwanita, poisonouswaffle'n-stuffs, Guest, Chibi Oro, NightXIV, Mavis, LittleLadyLokiStark, Alestrel, X-Eclipse, Kami Count D, Riddick, .owered, _anonymous, rotorhead_ and silveryn83 for your reviews and comments._  
_Hello this is my first fic of this dark a nature so I would ask that you read the warnings carefully before reading and no flamers please. It's AU so you can imagine it however you want._  
_This story was partially inspired by Kami Count D's 'Crime and Punishment' fic and I would recommend you all to read it if you have not already (also if you like Starscream/Ironhide as a pairing 'Crime and Punishment's' companion fic 'The Enemy You Know' is also a very enjoyable read)._  
_Unbetaed._  
_Disclaimer- I do not own Transformers or its characters._  
_Warnings- Rated MA (uncensored version on A03). Non-con/graphic rape, violence, perhaps some slight gore and mutilation near/at the beginning, there may be consensual slash in later chapters, Transformer swearing, angst, depression, death, trauma, mentions of masturbation. _  
_Warnings for this chapter- Transformer swearing, mentions of previous character death (major in the Prime verse), violence, depression, trauma, hints at past rape (not described), sexual references but nothing explicit. _  
_Units of Time:- Astrosecond- 1 second Klik- 1 minute Cycle- 1 hour Orn- 1 day Decacycle- 1 week Meta-cycle- 1 month Solar cycle- 1 year Vorn- 1 million years_  
_Italics- Flashbacks/thoughts/memories/link speak._  
_Bold- Comm speak._  
_Recognizable lines are borrowed/paraphrased from the 2007-2011 movies, accompanying games and other Transformers media._  
_I hope you enjoy the chapter and please review._

* * *

Chapter Ten- Thunder Claps 

Starscream's optics flickered open, frame freezing and spark stuttering as he realised who was holding him and the piercing sound of the rainfall penetrated his processor. A cold claw was placed against his lip components, Megatron's engines rumbling to send bursts of warm air against the Seeker's slim metallic body. 'Shh, little one, you are safe.'

The Air Commander looked up, optics sparkling with a hatchling's curiosity, tinged with fear, at the being cradling him to that massive chassis.

Megatron smiled back, a quirk of the lip components that, to Starscream, looked alien on his faceplates, 'see?' He caressed his second's wings soothingly as the younger mech cowered from the claps of thunder, 'nothing to be afraid of.'

For a while they sat in silence together, the tyrant holding his trembling Air Commander protectively.

The Warlord knew he should contact Hook but he wanted, just for a while, to embrace Starscream in the darkness where it seemed the flier felt more comfortable with him.

'Does your spark hurt now?' The Decepticon Lord murmured into his second's audio.

The Air Commander shook his helm slowly, 'it… it will fade.'

Megatron's optics flickered with interest, 'what will little one?'

Starscream looked away, humiliation warming his faceplates, 'my spark, triggered by my seal breaking is… preparing to mate and… form a sparkling by providing extra energy. It's drawing on energon from all my other systems. But it will- it _should_ stop soon... at least for a while.'

_He'd have to find a mate soon; it was the only way to make the sensation go away permanently._

The thought made him shudder, tanks rolling in dread. He could not tell Megatron, Primus knew how he'd react but the flier was sure it would be painful… but the tyrant had forbidden him from courting… The Seeker's ensuing whimper at that thought was lost to a rumble of thunder.

'I wish to stay here with you for a while, until you are better if I can. You should not be alone and we have matters to discuss.' Megatron, moving to mask how awkward he felt and trying to fill his voice with some confidence, stood with the Seeker in his arms and crossed to the berth where he remade then returned the flier to his improvised nest.

Starscream watched all his leader's movements, recognising and categorizing them with the accurateness of one who has been hurt by the same creature repeatedly, and nodded tentatively.

Megatron leaned back on his pedes, knelt beside the flier's berth, and gazed at the flier for a moment then questioned quietly, 'do you believe me when I say I will not harm you Starscream?'

The Seeker's beautiful red orbs lowered and his helm twitched from side to side.

The tyrant nodded, reaching out a servo to caress Starscream's faceplate gently as he reached into his subspace and pulled out a datapad he and Soundwave had worked on.

It was a contract of sorts, a guarantee that Megatron would not raise a servo to Starscream as long as the Seeker was loyal to him.

However, the Decepticon second had heard the tyrant make that promise before, verbally, and the large mech had failed to keep it. Handing the pad back, a sceptical expression settled on Starscream's faceplates before a swift boom of thunder sent a wave of terror through him. As he cowered in his nest, not considering how Megatron knew how to form it and what it should look like, a tentative servo started to caress his wing.

Sighing softly in contentment, faceplates carefully avoiding looking at the mech comforting him, Starscream, after several kliks, began to purr.

Megatron's lip components twitched, 'give me a chance little one?'

* * *

Breakdown, leaning on Hook's office door, stared at the two other medics. Knock Out was humming thoughtfully, perched on the edge of the Constructicon's desk, causing an easy smile to grow on the ex-Wrecker's faceplates as the bond calmed slightly. Apparently both of his mate and their superior were pleased with Starscream's reactions, that he had remained calm under heavy scrutiny. They were musing about everything from his ability to fight to his possibilities of having a mate and sparklings later in his function.

Loathe to interrupt their good mood, still remembering how the Seeker had tensed around him initially, the former Autobot wondered if the SIC's apparent relaxation in itself meant anything. After all, Megatron had beaten the flier many times and the Seeker hadn't become wary of any mech else before. The smaller mech may have been reassured that a mech who had never laid a servo on him would not harm him, but their Master was clearly a different matter.

Surely then, the only truly relevant data was that witnessed when Starscream was with Lord Megatron?

He supposed it may have been an old Autobot characteristic cropping up, they being more of a family collectively than the Cons were and noticing each other's upsets more quickly and, most likely, with far more sympathy. Cons tended to stick with their little groups or they struck out alone, both traits making it harder for them to realise that another outside of their self-made bubbles had issues and how they could help if they wished to do so.

It was the double-edged sword of being a Decepticon. A mech was expected to be, unless in exceptional circumstances such as part of a gestalt, completely self-reliant and that was what the soldiers proudly, arrogantly, became; however that also meant that, should you fall, no one was going to catch you.

If you broke the most you could hope for was that someone would take the moment required to put a bullet through your spark.

Starscream as one of the loners of the faction, however unwillingly, slipped under the radar for most. He also had the unfortunate label of their leader's scapegoat and so no one wished to help him openly as that would mean calling unnecessary attention to themselves.

Although the junior medic could not help but think that, when the trine-leader, when _Megatron, _next met Starscream's trinemates the slag was going to hit the fan _hard._

* * *

Starscream shivered, cold liquid settling in his tanks as his instincts screamed at him not to be so foolish as to fall for the same promises a second time, but the image of Thrust lightly pushing his helm into the Winglord's servo shoved its way to the forefront of his processor; the knowledge that he could not protect his kin alone left an empty feeling of defeat in his spark.

He would have to give his leader another chance and, even if the larger mech harmed him again regardless, he needed to stay.

The Seeker nodded once, optics lowering then closing, as he began to shake, the drumbeat of the rain seeming to pound in his processor.

Megatron rolled his engines reassuringly in silent praise, but quickly noticed how Starscream huddled deeper into the soft purple pillows, emblazoned with their faction insignia. In the hope of coaxing his second into conversation, and to give him some measure of proof that he meant his word, the Warlord signed the datapad then reoffered it to the Air Commander.

The Seeker's servo reached out tentatively, and pulled the pad back into his chassis, momentarily anxious about taking his optics off his long-term abuser. Staring down at the carefully inscribed text (clearly Soundwave's work), his optics lighted on several pieces of information his tired processor had previously missed as it searched for what Megatron expected of him above all else. Several of the rules, if not all of them, that Megatron had introduced against him had been revoked, apparently permanently.

A confused chitter left his mouth before he could stop it and he stared up at his leader wide-opticed, surprised that he was being given even more, especially as he had failed in his task.

Megatron motioned encouragingly, holding out a stylus, and the Seeker dutifully signed his glyph. He had no intention of betraying the older mech again, not just because of the punishment he received when the attempted coup failed, but because he had never truly wished to be disloyal in the first place. Throwing himself on Megatron's mercy that orn was a heady experience. It had been agonising, though he never protested or pleaded for forgiveness like the others as he knew he deserved none, but also in a strange way quite soothing.

The tyrant had been completely in control of everything leaving Starscream to simply endure and afterwards recover. All worries, fears and anxieties temporarily melted away as the Seeker felt only a quiet acceptance, hanging at least a foot off the ground in his leader's chains.

In allowing him to live, Megatron had affirmed his second as his, and Starscream's Seeker programming, thrilling at the dominance and the Warlord's decision to keep him, had crooned contentedly in that knowledge despite everything else.

Starscream, having held onto that knowledge to get him through each orn for many meta-cycles, could not remember exactly when it had stopped doing so.

Taking the items back, the Decepticon Lord's optics glimmered, _see Optimus? All is not lost…_

_Unless he is frightened of the consequences of refusing, this does not prove all that you hope it does, if actually anything at all._

_Then I shall give him reason to believe my word. _Megatron reached into his subspace, withdrawing a small model of Vos Soundwave had donated. It lacked intimate details, being only a standard replica used when the Seeker's city had been instrumental in the war, focussing primarily on points of strategic strength than anything else.

Taking the flier's servo, he pushed it gently into Starscream's grasp, 'for you my dear Starscream. I shall give you others once they are made.'

Starscream studied it for a few moments then subspaced it himself to protect it, nervously taking the tyrant's servo in the same motion so he could press his lip components against it in a gesture of gratitude, gasping when Megatron lightly caught the vulnerable appendage and pulled it to his own lip components.

'My… My Lord?' Starscream whispered, suddenly very much aware of the small part of him his leader held.

'You will not regret giving me this chance little one, I promise you that.' The tyrant relinquished his Air Commander's servo but kept their gazes locked, 'rest. No one will harm you.' Leaning over he dragged a blanket out from under the berth and laid it over the smaller mech. _I'll be here._

Starscream's shutters drooped in response to the quiet order but he blinked rapidly to keep himself online a few moments longer, 't-trine?'

'They may come once the rain stops, now recharge,' the larger mech's engines purred, pleased with how the conversation had gone, that despite how stilted it had been in the beginning some progress had been made. The TIC had suggested drawing up a contract between the two, pointing out that it may help Starscream to have something tangible, to have the knowledge that he would be supported and cared for laid out so clearly before him.

The Seeker shuddered for a moment wondering if anyone, once everything came to light, would want him. A flicker of panic fluttered through him before the initiation of recharge caught up with him and he dropped offline.

After Starscream had powered down, venting lightly in recharge, Megatron settled himself at his second's desk with a small cube of energon, unsubspacing a collection of reports to work on.

Silence, broken only by the patter of rainfall as the other elements of the storm seemed to ease for the moment, fell on the two troubled mechs.

* * *

**Censored to fit TOS**

* * *

_Megatron stared half-incredulous at the number of captured mechs before him; some had held his trust completely up until this orn. However, it was his second who held his gaze. The flier's posture was submissive and, while the others pleaded and spouted excuses, Starscream was silent, faceplates lowered._

_Breaking up the group for their various punishments, some were taken away to be executed in the Great Hall so the rest could see and learn from their treacherous comrade's mistakes, others were deemed worthy of another chance once they had been reminded of their place and so were escorted to the cells at the bottom of the base instead._

_The Commander was soon left alone with his second, engines growling ominously. Without a word he grabbed the Air Commander by both wings, deliberately slicing his claws through the fragile metal, and carried the bound Seeker down to Soundwave and Vortex's torture chambers._

_Smashing Starscream's frame into the wall, the audio-grating sound of splintering metal following the movement, he wrenched the flier's arms out of joint as he chained him to the wall._

_Though his wings and cockpit had to be distressing him, the flier remained stoutly silent._

_For a few kliks he stared around the Decepticon-dubbed 'House of Horrors', so named because of how dimly-lighted, unforgiving and bleak it was, wondering what he should do. The tyrant lacked his third's finesse in this area, accustomed to simply breaking mechs and deactivating them when they ceased to be of entertainment, rather than with a mind to keeping his subject's mind intact as Soundwave had to do in order to extract information from his victims._

_Of course, the telepath had given him advice on his technique but it was not something he had the time to do very often and it required a lot of practice. Soundwave, being a telepath, could easily get right into any given mech's processor, tearing apart their defences and any mental world they might create in an attempt to escape what was being done to them. Megatron had no such abilities but he did __**know **__Starscream, and that knowledge would compensate for his absence of refined skill._

_Cycles later, the Seeker hung limp in the chains, vocaliser glitching as his leader finished giving him his first taste of an energon whip. Megatron dropped the mech-blood-stained tool down with its equally discoloured fellows- blades, shocksticks and other items- on a silver tray glistened with pools of purple liquid._

_Anger born of betrayal beginning to simmer he approached his near-scrapped SIC, pressing their frames flush together, uncaring of how the action would irritate Starscream's wounds, and simply stood there engines and cooling fans roaring listening to the weak stutters of the Seeker's systems. Suddenly his servo shot up to imprison the back of the flier's neck, claws dipping liberally into the soft metal, as he released Starscream's useless arms._

_Holding the flier against the wall he hissed into his second's audio, 'if you ever pull a stunt like this again I'll melt you down for scrap, do you hear me?'_

_Starscream nodded, a chittering sound just audible over the static his vocaliser was helplessly giving off._

_Throwing the flier to the damp, somewhat sticky, floor, Megatron pressed his pede mercilessly into Starscream's back feeling inner circuitry give out beneath his weight._

'_You are mine Starscream, do not forget it again.' _

_A final clank burst from the Seeker's severely damaged frame signalled Starscream falling offline._

_Again the tyrant paused, debating either leaving the flier where he was and getting a drone to transport the smaller mech to the medbay, or to take his SIC there himself…_

_To appear as utterly sparkless or potentially weak…_

_He decided to meet in the middle and carried Starscream from the room, placing the Seeker in the arms of the first drone he came across with orders to ensure the SIC reached medical help immediately and that the room, primarily used by the Combaticon interrogator, be cleaned before its next use._

_As Starscream left his sight, an electric shock ran through his programming, speckles of colour filled his vision as his audios filled with white noise. He clutched his helm harshly until it passed then, leaning against a wall, scanned his systems for any anomalies. Nothing came up so he put it down to a temporary glitch and carried on to his quarters._

* * *

Megatron worked steadily through his reports, the thunder that consistently jarred him from his thoughts more muffled here allowing him to work in peace. Reading his second's report, he sighed and laid the Seeker's work to one-side, rubbing his optics roughly. The language Starscream used sent jabs of self-reproach through his spark. Self-derogatory, stilted, negative… Nothing like the fluent upbeat text that he had been used to seeing from the Seeker when he was Fourth-In-Command.

_Not as much progress as you thought, _Optimus's voice sniggered, _you naïve old fool._

_This was __**before **__we spoke, the attitude he has may yet have been altered._

_Ha! You hope for too much, he is damaged anyone could see it. And what will you do about his trinemates? They pose more than one problem I'm sure you are aware._

Megatron's optics shuttered, wind whistling punishingly in his audios, before they snapped open and he returned to his work.

Unheard, Starscream's systems whirred online and as soon as his optics opened he stared at his leader's back.

Megatron had not abandoned him, but did he intend to trap him?

Quietly taking out his new model of his lost home city, Starscream fingered it curiously. In truth, it would look better with a touch of paint but it was far better than nothing, and Knock Out could always polish it up for him.

It could not do any further harm to give his Master a chance, surely?

Starscream hoped that the rolling thunder answering that thought was not a bad omen of things to come.

* * *

_Thanks for reading and please review. _


	11. Hot and Cold

_Author's Note- Hi this is the eleventh chapter of Acid Rain and is uncensored._  
_Special thanks to Starlove, Decepticon Skywhip, The-writing-Mew, fan girl 666, Kitt __SummerIsle, Iwanita, poisonouswaffle'n-stuffs, Guest, Chibi Oro, NightXIV, Mavis, LittleLadyLokiStark, Alestrel, X-Eclipse, Kami Count D, Riddick, .owered, _anonymous, _moonlightnight1__, __rel95__, __ . __, __SamoaCookie__, rotorhead__ and silveryn83 for your reviews and comments._  
_Hello this is my first fic of this dark a nature so I would ask that you read the warnings carefully before reading and no flamers please. It's AU so you can imagine it however you want._  
_This story was partially inspired by Kami Count D's 'Crime and Punishment' fic and I would recommend you all to read it if you have not already (also if you like Starscream/Ironhide as a pairing 'Crime and Punishment's' companion fic 'The Enemy You Know' is also a very enjoyable read)._  
_Unbetaed._  
_Disclaimer- I do not own Transformers or its characters._  
_Warnings- Rated MA (uncensored version on A03). Non-con/graphic rape, violence, perhaps some slight gore and mutilation near/at the beginning, there may be consensual slash in later chapters, Transformer swearing, angst, depression, death, trauma, mentions of masturbation. _  
_Warnings for this chapter- Transformer swearing, mentions of previous character death (major in the Prime verse), violence, depression, trauma, hints at past rape (not described), sexual references but nothing explicit. _  
_Units of Time:- Astrosecond- 1 second Klik- 1 minute Cycle- 1 hour Orn- 1 day Decacycle- 1 week Meta-cycle- 1 month Solar cycle- 1 year Vorn- 1 million years_  
_Italics- Flashbacks/thoughts/memories/link speak._  
_Bold- Comm speak._  
_Recognizable lines are borrowed/paraphrased from the 2007-2011 movies, accompanying games and other Transformers media._  
_I hope you enjoy the chapter and please review._

* * *

Chapter Eleven- Hot and Cold 

Starscream slipped on and offline throughout the orn, but as far as he knew Megatron never left him. The tyrant's presence in his quarters was not as obtrusive as he would have imagined, the larger mech simply sitting at the Seeker's desk working quietly. The flier's spark still swirled uneasily, instincts warning him that Megatron was far too close, but he knew that he had to give his Master a chance, he had given his word to the former gladiator after all.

Slipping off his berth silently, Starscream approached his leader keeping low to the ground. With the table between them, he paused and his optics searched the little he could see of Megatron's frame for any sign of a threat. Contemplatively, he wondered about all the times those claws, now drumming against his well-used desk, had clamped around his throat, taking his weight effortlessly so his leader could dangle him high above the ground as he berated him.

Starscream had always been fascinated with those digits, how powerful they were despite their small size in comparison to the rest of Megatron's frame. They should be delicate but reduced mechs to submission with ease... Starscream valued his sharp talons in the rare instances he went servo-to-servo with someone, but he didn't have the upper body strength to put behind his blows that his leader did, forcing him to rely on slashing and dodging most of the time.

Servo wrapping around the table leg, Starscream helm fell on his shoulder as he watched Megatron suddenly lean back and stretch out his frame, huge arms sweeping out in a circle through the air.

Starscream sighed silently.

By many people's standards, Megatron would be a near perfect mate. Strong, powerful, influential, physically impressive, potential to be a potent sparker… Politically, if Vos had not fallen, the tyrant would be ideal. If only the former Lord High Protector lived up to his title, instead of turning his strength against his subordinates.

Against Starscream.

The Seeker still did not truly understand the malice Megatron had developed against him, when Starscream had always been so dedicated to him. Fangs playing with his lower lip component, slightly dizzy from the build-up of energy around his spark encouraging him to seek a mate to bond with, the Seeker's optics dimmed slightly as he listened to the larger mech begin to mutter softly to himself, the Warlord's voice gravelly, as he wrote line after line of text, datapad surface making a light scratching sound.

Slumping against the metallic, purple-stained leg he was resting his weight on, Starscream knew he would be seen as strange to his fellow Seekers. In having his seal broken before breaking the seal of another, his programming established him as the submissive, bringing online his ability to carry sparklings that would have otherwise remained dormant unless he had onlined them himself. As would normally be expected of him he could still bond with another submissive as, despite his programming which would naturally seek out a dominant to mate with as a logical choice for a sire of sparklings, bonding with another submissive was not impossible; they would simply take turns bearing the other sparklings.

However, for him to be a submissive at all for a mech of his status, would be looked upon as distinctly peculiar, if not frowned on.

The build-up of energy would fluctuate over time, eventually reaching dangerous levels for him unless he found a mate, and the energy needed for bonding would deplete the amount around his spark and so give him more control over his frame, and buy him time to produce a sparkling. Only after the first carrying would things return to normal for him and his frame would settle down properly.

Sight beginning to swim, he blinked to clear it, only to jump when he looked up to see Megatron's crimson orbs fixed on him. Shrinking back then freezing, Starscream ducked his helm instinctively, trying to make himself appear smaller.

The Warlord stood slowly and in two strides was stood over his cowering second. With a reassuring rumble from his engines, venting warm air over the shivering Seeker's metallic body, Megatron bent and scooped Starscream up into his hold. Cradling the smaller mech to him, feeling that despite the flier's plating being colder than stone, Starscream's chassis, directly above his spark chamber was unnaturally hot.

Staring down at Starscream as he began to convulse in his arms, Megatron took off at a near run out of his second's quarters and down to the medbay, ignoring his Air Commander's weak protests at the action. Even if it was only sedation, the Warlord was sure there must be something the medics could do for the younger mech.

Laying Starscream down on the berth, watching as the Seeker drifted back into recharge, Megatron's frame dropped harshly into the adjoining chair, comming Hook to summon him back to the medbay from his quarters.

The CMO's domain had finally emptied and the Constructicon had settled himself in his own berth for the night cycle, not that mech's routines were running at anything approaching normalcy at the moment anyway. The pitter-patter of the rain left most of Megatron's soldiers barricaded in their quarters, either licking their wounds or simply hiding, not wishing to call attention to themselves.

As he waited for the perfectionist, Megatron's optics studied Starscream's form in the harsh light. After the shadowed areas of both their personal quarters, it jolted him to see the slenderness of Starscream's metallic body so blatantly presented in front of him, every thin cable and fragile limb cruelly highlighted in the fluorescent lighting.

Optimus's laugh echoed through his helm, callous and punishing, accompanied by punitive, taunting words. _Such a proud warrior, honourable gladiator, reduced to scrapping helpless little mechs…_

Closing his optics in an attempt to block out the voice, Megatron rubbed his nasal ridges hard enough to send several shavings of metal to the floor. For a while he had been able to pass off his treatment of the Seeker as somehow beneficial to Starscream but now the thought left a bitter taste on his glossa. His second had needed toughening up a bit but sparring on equal terms, even Megatron could see, would have been far better, healthier for the winged mech at least.

Hook appeared in the doorway unseen, visor flashing as he took in the sight of Megatron, for all the world looking like a concerned lover, settled beside a recharging Starscream. The CMO scanned the Seeker from just inside his medbay and his sharp digits flexed, that energy had not been there before. Of course there had been _some _but no more than normal when self-repairs were at work.

The only way the Constructicon could see of getting rid of it was to manually drain it. He would normally recommend flying in similar cases but that was of course currently out of the question.

Megatron stirred from his thoughts as the purple and green mech began to set up apparatus around his SIC, standing to get out of the way as Hook did what the medic thought needed to be done. When the Constructicon pulled away from Starscream, sighing loudly through his vents, he unsubspaced a datapad and found his place, beginning to write something up.

When Megatron looked over Hook's shoulder, curious as to its contents, all he could see was a long and varied list of injuries, internal and external alike. The medic, without looking at his leader as he jotted down a final note, noticing how his Lord's optic ridges furrowed in confusion, murmured, 'it's a summary of Starscream's medical records My Lord. It has proved logical to have one close to servo.' Not giving Megatron a chance to take that in he turned to face the larger mech, optics still on his pad, and asked faux innocuously, 'do you know what caused the build-up of energy in Starscream's spark Master?'

If Megatron had lied about not tampering with Starscream's life energy and a sparkling was being developed in the Seeker's systems, the SIC's kin would mutiny as would quite probably many others. There were some things that even Decepticons did not tolerate.

'Starscream said something about…' Megatron trailed off briefly, recalling what the winged mech had told him, 'his systems preparing to mate and spark…'

Hook sighed, 'Seekers! Secretive, tricky creatures.' He tapped Starscream's leg firmly before he focussed properly on Megatron. 'Well we will have to find him a bondmate then. When he wakes up he will have to go to the other Seekers, announce himself as open to courting and…' The Constructicon paused, mindful of Megatron's still existing ban on Starscream seeking a bondmate, but not quite daring to say about it first.

'And I will declare that I want him to choose a bondmate,' the Warlord's optics flickered in a way Hook could not define, before regaining something of their usual confidence.

'The Seekers will be thrilled,' Hook resubspaced his pad, 'the Winglord of their race is quite a catch, a prize they would claim unequalled by any other.'

Megatron's faceplates darkened for a moment. There would be some, then, who would seek to take advantage of Starscream's position. He would have to somehow make sure his second made a good choice…

Of course Starscream's trinemates would have some influence in their leader's decision, but they were not the most trustworthy considering Megaton knew they wanted the older Seeker for themselves. But then he could not claim to be entirely unbiased either…

The CMO didn't notice the shift in Megatron's mood as he was busying himself unhooking Starscream from the spark machine he'd been connected to. Working around the berth to detach the various cables, Hook's servo brushed the cool cover the flier laid on and a flash on longing spread through him.

Knock Out and Breakdown's berth wouldn't be as frigid as his currently was…

Jealousy flared up in him before he caught sight of Starscream's lax faceplates, exhausted, dimmed orbs staring up at the CMO almost pleadingly.

Hook slipped a sedative into the Seeker's energon lines, and gratitude crossed Starscream's expression before the flier slipped back into a calmer recharge. Discreetly petting a wing as he stepped back, the purple and green mech nodded to Megatron, 'he should be fine now. Just ah… keep an optic on him My Lord?'

Megatron lightly squeezed Hook's shoulder then slid his arms beneath Starscream's slighter form, effortlessly lifting the younger mech into his arms, and striding out of the medbay.

The CMO pulled himself onto the berth Starscream had vacated and, only a klik or two later, was deeply back in recharge himself.

Hook was not alone long; however, when Breakdown and Hook slipped into the room with the intention of checking on the medic, wishing to make sure the CMO actually went to berth when he said he would now the medbay was unoccupied. They exchanged a glance, twin smirks forming on their faceplates, when they caught sight of Hook curled up and recharging on a medical berth.

_What kind of subordinates would we be if we left our superior in this state? _Knock Out questioned, trailing a digit down the air above Hook's side. _So __**exposed **__and __**vulnerable…**_

Breakdown grinned, chuckling softly as he passed his bondmate to the other side of the berth; _we should get him to a nice __**warm **__berth, let him get a proper rest._

Carefully picking the senior medic up, Breakdown curled Hook into his chassis and the three left for the bondmate's quarters.

* * *

Megatron had an idea on the way through the quiet corridors and took Starscream back to his quarters instead of returning the SIC to the flier's own rooms. Opening the door to his balcony to survey the merciless storm, he settled Starscream into his desk chair a safe distance inside, laying a blanket over the flier and placing a pillow gently behind the flier's helm.

Starscream woke up a cycle later but the Warlord pretended not to notice, optics firmly locked on the datapad, though not taking in any information contained on it. For a few kliks there was silence while the Second-in-Command gained his bearings, only broken by the jet engine-like rumble of thunder and the energon sword clashes of lightning strikes.

'It…it's beautiful,' Starscream whispered to himself, watching the crisscross of colours as different forms of lightning interlocked, glinting and sparkling as they reflected off the rain.

_As are you, _Megatron remained still, allowing the Seeker to stare at the storm unhindered, savouring what would most likely be some of the final moments he could call Starscream his own.

* * *

_Thanks for reading and please review._

_I'm working on Praise and Vengeance at the moment and they will both be up asap. _


	12. Hate

___Author's Note- Hi this is the twelfth chapter of Acid Rain._  
_Special thanks to Starlove, Decepticon Skywhip, The-writing-Mew, fan girl 666, Kitt SummerIsle, Iwanita, poisonouswaffle'n-stuffs, Guest, Chibi Oro, NightXIV, Mavis, LittleLadyLokiStark, Alestrel, X-Eclipse, Kami Count D, Riddick, .owered, anonymous, moonlightnight1, rel95, . , SamoaCookie, rotorhead and silveryn83 for your reviews and comments._  
_Hello this is my first fic of this dark a nature so I would ask that you read the warnings carefully before reading and no flamers please. It's AU so you can imagine it however you want._  
_This story was partially inspired by Kami Count D's 'Crime and Punishment' fic and I would recommend you all to read it if you have not already (also if you like Starscream/Ironhide as a pairing 'Crime and Punishment's' companion fic 'The Enemy You Know' is also a very enjoyable read)._  
_Unbetaed._  
_Disclaimer- I do not own Transformers or its characters._  
_Warnings- Rated MA. Non-con/graphic rape, violence, perhaps some slight gore and mutilation near/at the beginning, there may be consensual slash in later chapters, Transformer swearing, angst, depression, death, trauma, mentions of masturbation._  
_Warnings for this chapter- Transformer swearing, mentions of previous character death (major in the Prime verse), violence, depression, trauma, hints at past rape (not described), sexual references but nothing explicit._  
_Units of Time:- Astrosecond- 1 second Klik- 1 minute Cycle- 1 hour Orn- 1 day Decacycle- 1 week Meta-cycle- 1 month Solar cycle- 1 year Vorn- 1 million years._  
_Italics- Flashbacks/thoughts/memories/link speak._  
_Bold- Comm speak._  
_Recognizable lines are borrowed/paraphrased from the 2007-2011 movies, accompanying games and other Transformers media._  
_I hope you enjoy the chapter and please review._

* * *

Chapter Twelve- Hate

Starscream had dropped into a relatively comfortable recharge on Megatron's chair, curled up in a tight ball beneath his cover. The tyrant watched his second freely, datapads forgotten and left on the edge of his world map. Every now and again the Seeker's wings would flick out and he'd catch a glance of the tips before they vanished again, hiding beneath the dark purple of the sheet. Starscream's helm rested on his knees with the blanket separating them, slim faceplates facing the storm. The shocks of lightning did not disturb him but, if there was too large a gap between the flashes of light, the darkness sometimes disgruntled and threatened to rouse him. The violent wind seemed to soothe him when it managed to infiltrate Megatron's rooms, and it was that his wings would seek when they emerged, a peaceful expression stealing across Starscream's faceplates when they succeeded.

A curious, expressive creature.

The Warlord's processor was blank even of Optimus's voice, the storm rolling through him as his optics traced and memorised Starscream's movements. An unknown amount of time passed in which Megatron did not move or think, just content to observe in the somewhat quiet.

When Soundwave arrived to speak with him, it took some kliks for the Decepticon Lord to realise that his TIC had pinged his comm line. Standing, stretching out stiff joints, Megatron sent the internal order for his doors to open but remained where he was.

Soundwave entered like a shadow, hardly disturbing the room, and waited patiently for Megatron's full attention. With a sigh, the Warlord joined the telepath and they settled into battle plans and schedules. Megatron prolonged the talks longer than necessary to avoid speaking about his TIC taking a look at his processor. Even though it was only Soundwave, it was still an invasion of some of the most private parts of himself.

There was no escape however and, with Starscream deep in recharge, there was nothing to distract them from the issue once the discussion reached its conclusion as their known information was exhausted.

'Soundwave,' he vented, after an unusually awkward pause, 'I have a favour to ask…'

* * *

_Starscream sighed, wind on his wings, as Praxus, Vos's cousin city, burned beneath his glowing thrusters. Buildings had been left as mere layers of dust in the air, and any screaming which had been audible over the blasts were loud and piercing but mercifully brief. The Decepticons had struck hard and fast, giving neither the Praxians time to escape nor the Autobots a chance to mount a defence. He had hoped for a long time it would not come to this, but Megatron's orders were not to be disobeyed and Praxus's authorities had been given many, many chances to reconsider their stance._

_Dreadwing and his trine flew somewhere overhead, no Seeker truly looking at where they were shooting in order to avoid tripping their sparkling protection programming. The smoke helped and the fact that grounders had dropped the bombs which had done most of the damage soothed the Seeker's sensibilities slightly, enough for them to finish what their comrades had started…_

_Starscream shot through the air at the sight of the Warlord's ship, being fourth in command meant his presence would soon be required and he would much prefer to be early than late. The SIC's larger form passed across his vision to land on the deck, Dreadwing striding inside with his split-spark twin Skyquake to his right and slightly behind. Their third, Nightfall, was younger and smaller in model than his adoptive brothers. He was quicker than the other two and lightsparked for a Decepticon, and might have made a good companion for Skywarp had the two elders not disapproved of the possible friendship. Starscream rolled his optics, touching down himself moments later. _

_Dreadwing always had to make things difficult._

'_My Lord,' the SIC greeted Megatron as Starscream entered the bridge, hovering in the doorway as he waited to be either called forward or dismissed. The FIC dipped his wings in a bow as the former gladiator's ruby gaze met his own, and returned the smile which was offered as Megatron beckoned him forward._

_As Air Commander, the Seekers would follow no other but their Winglord, Starscream was all but equal to Dreadwing in influence, if not in rank. And, just occasionally, the larger Seeker would convey that knowledge through his optics or through the touch of a sneer on his lip components. Starscream would just grin back in answer, mockery flashing across his expression but only when Megatron's back was turned. There would always be a place for Nightfall, perhaps even Skyquake though he shared the barely concealed opinion of his twin, within Starscream's now unofficial court, but Dreadwing had alienated far too many with his rejection of his Winglord's authority. He believed Starscream to be dishonourable, Thundercracker too introverted and the less said about Skywarp and his flaunting of his youth the better. In short, an inadequate Elite Trine with an unworthy leader. _

_Starscream, though he'd never show such weakness before the other Decepticons, regretted the loss of one of his wingmates, far more than he felt the need to taunt Dreadwing with the fact of their existence. Still, it could not be helped._

_Megatron strode away from them, tacitly ordering his Seekers to follow him to the screens Soundwave controlled. Three Praxians were under guard nearby, apparently the remains of, not just a family, but also a culture and race of people. The two adults stood, doorwings downturned- the appendages hinting at the kinship between them and Vosians- as they watched the carnage below. One, Starscream assumed to be the eldest, held a clearly terrified youngling protectively in one arm while offering comfort to his older companion by enclosing him in half a hug. Gradually, the older mech's doorwings rose to both defensively and caringly wrap around the other two, trying to shield the youngling's teary optics from the fire and destruction onscreen._

_All four Seekers bristled in individual subtle gestures, grimacing as one at the sight of the little mech. They may have, just, tolerated the destruction of the younglings, sparklings and hatchlings they could not see, but under no condition would they allow the little Praxian to be deactivated directly before them. _

_Thankfully, Megatron did not expect them to. After taking Starscream's report of the air force, he commanded the three captives be dropped at the entrance to Praxus, so they could warn other mechs and femmes, cities and towns, of the consequences of provoking the Lord of the Decepticons. Starscream led them off with significantly more care than he would have shown had the youngling not been present._

_Dreadwing discreetly tensed, wings pulling in to his back, in unease as Megatron advanced on him. _

_Skywarp met his leader and the three Praxians as they left the Command Deck, warping them to the ground; several miles from what had been the city centre._

_At the sight the youngling burst into uncontrollable sobs, clutching at his guardian as if the pulsing of his spark depended on it._

'_Bluestreak, shhh. I've got you, shh.' Large doorwings wrapped around the comparatively small form, rocking the young Praxian gently. _

_Skywarp's orbs dimmed, glistening with fluid, at Bluestreak's distress, gaze turning and locking onto Starscream, optics pleading, glancing at the three neutrals frantically and gesturing with his wings to offer the youngster some help. The trine-leader nodded and caressed his third's wing comfortingly, unsubspacing some medical supplies and a couple of cubes of energon. Stepping forward, chittering soothingly in native Seeker at Bluestreak, he offered the low-grade ration to the shuddering little mech. 'Here, take it,' he pushed it lightly into the far smaller servos. _

_The two adults tensed, postures radiating hostility, as the Seeker approached but didn't protest their charge taking the cube. Starscream gave the rest of the supplies to the second adult and turned away, servo clasping his wingmate's shoulder and forcing him to turn around and walk away._

_Their pedes did not tread the blackened ground long, before they stepped into the equally dirtied air, Thundercracker soon joining their flight back to the Warship._

_Metacycles later, the Seekers buried Dreadwing and his brothers, some still shocked by the sight of Skyquake and Nightfall simply dropping from the skies so very close by to them. Skywarp's frame curled into Starscream's side as all three were buried. The two subordinate trinemates had been arguing before they fell over the teleporter, the youngest of Dreadwing's trine having had something of a crush on his counterpart in Starscream's and had finally gathered the courage to express his wish to court the prankster. Skywarp had been trying to calm his up until then secret friend and defend him from the harsh words of his older brother when the other mech had slipped from the light grip of the purple and black flier's arm around his shoulders._

_Both brothers were grey before they struck the ground. _

_Whimpering softly into Starscream's side, Thundercracker's servo resting on his wing as the two older Seekers offered physical comfort and love through the link, Skywarp cried._

* * *

Starscream gradually onlined, processor throwing up thoughts it never had before, seeing things it never had while he held lower rank. Perhaps… Dreadwing was only the way he was because he could see changes in Megatron that his Winglord had yet to, and had become defensive as Starscream had grown to be? Maybe the destruction of an entire city had aroused something in Megatron that had previously lain dormant…

No matter, Starscream had woken with a far clearer processor since the night the rain had started, and something was beginning to flutter deep within his spark, the sight of his younger trinemate's tears streaking down almost perpetually gleeful faceplates burned behind his optics, and opened a well within him he'd long ago slammed closed.

Grief as he began to realise the full extent of what his Seekers had lost, and the essential parts of their nature they were forced to give up or suppress over time under Megatron's rule… but not only that. Rage and hate which had been lurking, deeply concealed, in his unconscious, settled into his soul to start gnawing like a swarm of scraplets feasting on living metal, now they finally had energy to exist and grow upon. Standing, his wings flared out in a threatening gesture, silencing the two other mechs in the room.

He glared, a vivid feeling of clarity running through his systems and spark swirling in cold, unyielding fury at the two former gladiators, violently rebuffing Soundwave's attempts to ease his processor and summoning the Coneheads to collect him. As he faced down the two mechs, his vents heaved but he stood firm, safe in the knowledge that regardless of the outcome of this his Seekers would be safe from Megatron.

If the tyrant killed him, the fliers would never forgive the loss of their Winglord and they would leave en masse, and hopefully find a better protector than Starscream had provided for them.

'You have taken _everything _from me!' He shrieked, vocaliser tightening in his throat at the abrupt abuse, wings beating the air with emotion, 'and don't say you're giving it back now! It isn't enough, and it never will be! Do you really expect me to forgive you? Give you a chance, when you have never given me one? I _hate _you, with all my spark I do! You're a monster! A cruel, vile _grounder! _How could you take the sky from me? My choice of first partner? My freedom? My voice? My cousins? My wingmates? _My trinemates?_ I gave you everything you demanded, why was it never enough? Why is everything always my fault? Even the fragging _rain _for Primus's sake!' A spark-broken, half-insane laugh burst from the SIC. 'You offer your protection and your favour, but did it ever occur to you that you should have been giving that to me from the beginning? You always give so freely to the others! Approval, respect, praise… Why can't you give some to _me? _I brought you the Seekers, though I was your _second choice_ to lead them and always was! I brought cities to their knees for you! We even,' his breath hitched slightly before he pushed himself onwards, 'killed _sparklings _for you! Are you even aware of how unnatural an act that is for a Seeker? I will _never _forgive you; do you hear me, Megatron? Are you listening to me this once? I despise you and, while I will serve you until my spark extinguishes, I will _never _forgive you!'

The room fell into silence once more for a time, apart from the relentless pounding of the rain.

'And I Starscream,' Megatron remained where he was, not a hint of ire in his posture but the determination in his optics he always had when confronted with the best defended of Autobot strongholds, 'will work to earn your forgiveness until I rust.'

The new hardness in Starscream's optics didn't relent, and he crossed to the magnificent doors and strode out without another word, Megatron providing the codes to allow him to leave wordlessly. He met the Coneheads who were nervously walking along the corridor towards him after storming down the stairs and through several hallways.

Exhaustion trickled suddenly up his back strut, guilt growing at what he had put his kind through on Megatron's behalf as he pet their wings and crooned to them in greeting, 'take me to the others,' he murmured rather lyrically though his voice seemed scratchy and strained, 'there are some things you all need to know.'

* * *

_Thanks for reading and please review._


End file.
